Chrysalis

Thanks, Marti. That is exactly what I am looking for. Examples of extraordinary measures during extraordinary situations. And it does help to know that when the trigger situation stops the horrible craves stop, too. Thanks!

Sorry, Sarge and Lucy. While I appreciate your good intentions, I think I made it clear in my post that the standard advice of "Just dont' smoke." wasn't cutting it for me. I am looking for examples of what extraordinary measures people took during extraordinary times. My concern here is not just me. (Yes, it is mostly me, but not JUST me. :) ) I have heard that something like 90% of smokers relapse within one year. Quit smoking aids and support forums like this one can increase the success rate such that 20-30% of smokers remain quit after 1 year. I think that is a terrific success! But that still leaves at least 60 or 70% of people who try to quit smoking-- who often do quit for a while-- relapsing. That's a darned shame and that statistic frightens me regarding my own quit. I don't think I'm any kind of "special snowflake" in regards to relapse rates. I think we should work on preventing relapses. So I am trying to think of and plan for how to prevent a relapse when the standard approach does NOT work. Is there anything?

I was poking around the site today and stumbled across MarylandQuitter's "About Me" essay (which is very good, by the way). In the essay he says, "The worst case scenario is a relapse and the next worse thing is a constant battle." [emphasis mine] The constant battle is where I need help. I quit smoking almost 5 months ago. I'd say my quit was pretty typical. In the beginning I thought about cigarettes constantly and had frequent craves. As time went on, the thoughts and craves became less and less frequent. Yes, the thought of smoking would pop into my head once or twice a day but I was able to immediately redirect my thinking elsewhere. Once or twice a week I would have to fight a little harder. Although I definitely did not want to go back to smoking, for some reason I kept picturing myself walking into my local convenience store and buying my preferred brand. Again, however, I would practice N.O.P.E. and distract myself with some activity or exercise or reading "Nonsmoking Cats" or something. After less than an hour the "crave" (if that's what you want to call it) would fade away. And so it went for 4.5 months-- no big deal, nothing unexpected, making progress every day. Then along came Mom's health problems. My 92-year-old mother lives alone in another state. She broke her hip last October. In recent months it has been hurting her more and more to the point where she can hardly get out of bed. Two doctors took X-rays and told her that is was arthritis. However, that just didn't make sense to her--she's had arthritis and it was never like this. The pain was so bad that she would stay in bed and be hungry rather than face the pain of getting to the kitchen for food or to take her medications. Finally, I had to go down there myself and figure out what was going on. I was shocked at her condition! In the 2.5 months since my last visit she had withered away and lost her spirit. She was in pain 24/7, unable to sleep because of pain, depressed, frightened, and hopeless. To make a long story short, I found a GOOD doctor who realized immediately that the original break never healed so the bone was being resorbed. The tips of the screws were now protruding through the top of the femur and shredding the inside of the hip joint. He also thought there was necrosis along the site of the fracture. Oh my God!! No wonder the poor old lady was in agony! I won't go into any more detail now (the only solution is major surgery which she might not survive). But the point is that being with her 24/7--seeing her pain and fear and frustration-- not to mention my own frustration that I couldn't "fix" it for her, triggered my urge to smoke BIG TIME!! Thoughts of smoking and fantasies of going to buy cigarettes became constant. I still did not WANT to smoke. I knew, intellectually, that smoking would do nothing to solve any problems. But the memory of the stress-release and the "a-a-a-h-h-h!" feeling of getting a nicotine fix would not leave my mind. It was almost as if I was so desperate for relief from this incredible stress that I badly WANTED TO BELIEVE that cigarettes would help. Can you understand that? Unfortunately, even when I got home again the cravings wouldn't stop. The desire, the imaginings, the craves eroded my strength. I simply ran out of patience to deal with it. I had so much stress already-- I had so much to do to get Mom scheduled for surgery and so much to think about-- I just got fed up with dealing with this cigarette sh**, too! Enough already!! I felt that I was really on the verge of relapsing and I did not want to do that. I just needed relief from these constant, corrosive thoughts. In desperation, I asked my support forum for help. They are a terrific bunch of folks and were very willing to help but all they could advise me to do was to hang on and say: "Cigarettes will not solve any problems." and "N.O.P.E." That is what I was doing. That approach worked fine for me to handle the occasional thoughts and craves that I had experienced throughout my quit. But now, now that I was REALLY stressed and REALLY obsessing about cigarettes, it just wasn't working any more. Thankfully, I remembered that I still had some Chantix left. I figured that if it helped me during the first difficult weeks of my quit (which it did) maybe it would help again now. So I restarted the Chantix. My craves and obsessive thinking went away immediately and I was able to calm down. I did not smoke. I protected my quit. Hallelujah! (By the way, I discussed this with my doctor and he approved.) My question for you all is: have you ever been faced with a situation where the desire for a cigarette simply would NOT go away day after day? Where intellectually you knew that smoking would not help but emotionally you were desperate for some type of relief? Did you ever think that you were going to relapse even though you didn't want to? What did you do? How did you get through that? Is this still the same old "romancing the cigarette" that people talk about or can there really be extra-special difficult situations? This is where MQ's essay resonated so strongly with me. When he said, "The worst case scenario is a relapse and the next worse thing is a constant battle." I am afraid of the constant battle. It's not constant for me right this minute (thanks to the Chantix) but I wonder if my desire to smoke is really just under the surface such that any major stress could activate it. One major emotional upheaval and--bam!-- I relapse! I want to be alert to such a possibility and take steps now to arm myself against it. Any suggestions?

Great post, Markus. Thanks for the bump, Babs!

Oh, golly, Nancy, I hear you on THAT one!! Yes indeedy!

I almost copped out today. Kept telling myself it was too hot to bicycle or disco walk. But when my husband decided to take a nap before supper I decided to go to the pool and do some water aerobics. In very hot weather the pool is an OPPORTUNITY not a chore, right? Also, hubby offered to go out and get us a pizza if I would wash the dishes (it was his turn tonight). I agreed to wash the dishes but said "No" to the pizza because it's not something I want to eat these days. Once in a while, sure, but only when I plan for it. So I worked out AND ate a healthful dinner. Ain't I just the cat's meow!! :girl_dance:

Oh, my! I'm glad you weren't seriously injured! Is your bike ruined? I suggest that you soak in a hot tub, take all the painkillers you safely can and try to get a good night's sleep. Poor whackamole! :(

Jackie, read this post by IamDoingIt. If you already read it, read it again... I do not care who you are! You do not just 'Get off the Quit Train....' You throw yourself head-first off a speeding train to land in the track bed below the train. You bounce down the railroad ties, bumping, flipping, twirling after the train... (read more)

Jackie, I quit smoking using Chantix-- 3 weeks before my "quit date" and 3 weeks after. It worked great and I have been quit for almost 5 months now. Two weeks ago I ran into some very stressful situations in my life. I started craving a cigarette all day every day. After 4 or 5 days I couldn't stand the feeling anymore and was on the verge of relapsing. I didn't WANT to smoke but I couldn't STAND the craves! So I put myself back on a low dose of Chantix-- 1/2 pill (i.e. 0.5 mg) per day. I also did everything I could think of to reduce stress-- regular exercise, better nutrition, making time for fun, etc. It worked. I didn't smoke. My craves are gone. And overall I am feeling much better. I did talk to my doctor about this yesterday and he was fine with it. He, like Bakon, recommends exercise to reduce stress. But if exercise is not enough, he's fine with the low-dose Chantix. Anything rather than go back to smoking. So that is my advice to you. Take a low dose of Chantix (1 "starter" pill or 1/2 "regular" pill per day). Get out and exercise as vigorously as you can for at least 30 minutes EVERY DAY. Do whatever else you do to reduce your stress. And stop smoking RIGHT NOW!! It is stupid and unnecessary to continue to feed your addiction even one more day much less for another week or two. Chantix does work right away; its effect is subtle at first but it's there. Trust it. You have to want to quit smoking more than you want to smoke. Is that true for you? Do you want to quit more than you want to smoke? If so, then take the Chantix and stop smoking NOW. Yes, you have problems and frustrations in your life. Go see a psychotherapist for those. But smoking will solve nothing and will rob you of all the good things you were accomplishing by not smoking.

I think that the thread: "Pre Respond to your own SOS" is great. It will be wonderful for those to actually wrote their own "pep talks" then subsequently experience a crave; it also provides wonderful encouragement and tips for casual readers. I suggest that the admins pin it to the top of the SOS forum. Let's not let it fall between the cracks.

Hey, the fact that you can get up off the couch to feed yourself so soon after this trauma is quite a victory! Appreciate what your poor body is doing for you. Seven months after quitting smoking you are so much healthier than if you had continued to smoke, thank God for that! Keep on shuffling to the fridge, then step briskly to the fridge, then jog to the fridge, and from there the sky's the limit! I'm so glad that you are home and recovering.

Wow! You're really having a tough time with the smoking today, aren't you??!! I'm so sorry, honey, I know it's tough sometimes. Here, come over here so I can give you a big hug... ((( :wub: HUG!! :wub: ))) Hang in there, honey, you're doing great! You're going continue to do great! You trust me on this, don't you? Yes? Good. OK. Now calm down.... Breathe deeply and slowly for a couple of minutes.... Relax your shoulders and rotate your neck.... Just relax....shhhhh.... Now-- let's fix this: 1. You know that you do NOT want to go back to smoking. No how no way. Never. Right?! 2. Remind yourself of why you wanted to quit in the first place-- you really want to be fit and vigorous in your old age. You want to bicycle, hike, dance, explore, walk dogs, feel good, feel energetic! No rocking chair, no wheel chair, no oxygen tank. You don't want to plague your family with second hand smoke (you felt so guilty!). You want to be financially secure in your senior years--it feels good to know that you stopped wasting all that money on cigarettes. 3. DISTRACT YOURSELF!!! For a temporary (1 day) "crave" do what you know works to relieve stress and/or boredom (the two most common causes of your short-term craves)--Get some exercise, listen to a relaxation tape, call a friend, play with the cat, do some artwork, watch a Netflix, plan your next vacation, play with your financial investments, look up a new recipe, order Spring bulbs online, look at Nonsmoking Cats, Dogs and Animals or funny Youtube videos. 4. Give yourself some tough love as in: "Come on, stop indulging this crave. Stop feeling sorry for yourself--you know that this feeling is temporary. So get up off your sorry a** and DO something!" 5. Repeat your mantra to yourself until it sinks in. Remember this?-- Note to self: Even if I do smoke ONE cigarette and that ONE cigarette gives me relief from these AWFUL feelings, how long will that relief last? Forever? No, of course not. All day? No. An hour? Unlikely. I know perfectly well that the relief I feel, such as it is, will only last about 15 minutes before I'm right back to where I am now-- NEEDING just ONE cigarette to deal with these AWFUL feelings. All right-- forget it! Forget the d*** cigarette! 6. N.O.P.E. If you find yourself going through a phase of several days of constant craves and obsessing about smoking, sit down and think carefully about WHY you keep fantasizing about cigarettes. What is wrong in your life? What feelings are you trying to suppress with cigarettes? Anxiety? Weight gain? Boredom? If there is some underlying problem in your life that is triggering frequent thoughts about smoking, fix the underlying problem! Don't hide from it. Don't deny its existence. Don't be too lazy to address it. FIX IT!! Now get a grip, girl! You don't want to smoke. You are not going to smoke! Do something else with your life! Got it? Good!

Then what do you call rugby? And what is a "scoucer"? (Jeeze, I didn't think I would have to take a language class when I joined Quit Train! :cray:)

OK. Got it now. Secret handshake, goofy hats and discussions about dog food and PMS. Must be a real popular forum! Thanks for the info.

Didn't exercise today but did have a very good medical checkup. BP, glucose, cholesterol, etc. everything great. Weight down a little from where it was last time but still need to work on that. All this PLUS I haven't smoked in almost 5 months. Doctor was pleased as punch. Me, too! :) Now I just need to keep doing what I have been doing and I'll get to where want to be. Good to know.

Great post, Beacon! And it's true...so many things that we couldn't do on our own--or couldn't maintain for very long--we can do and maintain by drawing on the strength of others. When you think about it, that's pretty amazing. :victory:

Thank you for posting this, Colleen. You are inspiring me! You have done exactly what I want to do-- use quitting smoking as a first step in becoming a healthier, fitter, happier (and smaller) person. Congratulations! Of course, my first thought is that you can accomplish that but I can't. I'm older, fatter, too out of shape, blah, blah, blah. But then I realized that that's just the same old "special snowflake" argument (everybody can do it but me). All I have to do is do like you did-- be consistent and stick with it!! Good for you, Colleen. You should feel really good about yourself.

So, are you dead yet? "Ripped in 30" graduating class, August 2014

Sorry to be dense, but I can't figure out what topics are supposed to go in "Off the Record".

Gosh, DevilDoll, you make me feel so special! Thanks. (((DevilDoll)))

Ditto, Jimmy! Funny thing, though, you look just like a certain bus driver I know. ;)

This one is for Beacon and action. Thank you for caring. :wub:

Hi, Zelda- Congratulations on your quit (20 days is it now?) and especially on your baby! I'm so happy for you! While I am impressed that you threw out your cigarettes the minute you knew you were pregnant, please don't stop there. I can't tell you how often I have read of women who quit while pregnant but went back to smoking shortly after the delivery. Clearly, there is no physical reason for that-- the physical addiction is long gone. I think that the reason for these relapses is that the woman is quitting "for the baby". Mama herself feels deprived of cigarettes throughout the pregnancy. She misses what she THINKS the cigarettes did for her (relaxation, focus, energy, etc.). That thinking is WRONG. Cigarettes do nothing for you except to relieve the withdrawal symptoms caused by cigarettes. So while I think it's great that you used your pregnancy as the motivation to begin your quit, I hope you take the time during the next few months to really educate yourself about nicotine addiction and how to overcome it. Read Alan Carr's "Easy Way to Stop Smoking" and/or watch Joel Spitzer's videos and/or read and post here often. At 20 days you are well on your way to complete freedom from this horrible disease. Learn from the mistakes of others. Educate yourself about the lies old Nicodemon will tell you after your delivery so that you can remain free for the rest of your life. You want to be active and vigorous enough to play with you grandchildren, don't you? Start planning for that now.