Chrysalis

U-m-m-m, DevilDoll? I hate to tell you this--you're not a food source for lightning, either. :D

I did a lot of wind surfing when I was your age. That's like paddle boarding but with out the paddle-- you let a sail do the work. That's more to my taste. And besides, given even a modest wind, you can outrun the sharks! DEFINITELY more to my taste! :D Have fun!

Great post, Aine. So true, so true!!

LOL!! Good self-talk, Holski (and, of course, El Bandito, too). Read this thread and especially your post often. Let the lessons sink in! PS-- the first thing I did when I saw your SOS was to check if you had written a Pre-response. That would have helped me know what approach would work for you. Unfortunately, you did not then have a Pre-response. Now you do. Excellent!

Action, you cat is gorgeous and she looks very happy and healthy. So nice to see!

That's great, Natalie! Thanks for that.

Holski, this video that MQ posted addresses the same points I was trying to make, only better. I viewed this some weeks ago and it really helped me. I hope it helps you, too. (Thanks much, MQ!)

Hi, Holski. I hear ya, buddy, and I feel your pain. Literally. I, too, am one of those people who periodically gets locked into obsessively thinking about and desiring to smoke a cigarette. The rational part of my brain says, "Absolutely not!!" but my junkie brain keeps bugging me and bugging me and bugging me until I'm ready to SCREAM!!. Frankly, I want to smoke not to relieve the cravings so much but to get relief from the constant mental battle. This doesn't happen to me all the time (thank God) but it does sometimes. So what do I do to get through it? 1. Recognize that there is something going on in my life that is making me particularly stressed or anxious. There is some emotion that is triggering my thoughts about smoking. It is important for me to look at myself honestly and figure out what is bothering me--then start taking steps to fix the problem. That, really, is the only long-term solution. 2. Take serious steps to reduce your stress. Getting regular, moderate exercise is particularly effective. Listen to relaxing music or do yoga or immerse yourself in a favorite hobby or listen to a self-hypnosis tape. Do whatever works for you to reduce your stress. 3. (This was a biggie for me) Recognize that you do NOT want to go back to smoking. You keep thinking about having "one perfect cigarette". Just one. You just crave the relief of that one, beautiful inhalation and the feeling of "a-a-a-h-h-h". Well, there ain't no such thing as "one perfect cigarette". One cigarette will lead to another and then 3 and then a pack and so on.... So your internal debate is not really between "should I have one cigarette or not?". Your internal debate is REALLY "should I keep my quit or throw in the towel and go back to smoking totally?" THAT is the real choice you have. Joel Spitzer said it in a way that really resonated with me. He said: "Fixating on a Cigarette What happens to some people is when off a certain time period they start fixating on a cigarette. By that I mean they forget all the bad cigarettes they ever smoked, they forget the ones they smoked without ever really thinking about them even at the time they were being smoked, and they start to remember and focus on one good cigarette. It may be one the smoked 20 years earlier but it was a good one and they are now wanting one again. A common tactic is the ex-smoker will try to tell himself or herself that he or she does not really want that good cigarette. Well, the problem is at that moment he or she does want it. An internal debate erupts, "I want one, no I don't, one sounds great, not it doesn't, oh just one, not just one!" The problem is that if the ex-smoker focus on one there is no clear winning side. The ex-smoker needs to change the internal discussion. Don't say that you don’t want one when you do, rather acknowledge the desire but ask yourself, do I want the others that go with it. Then do I want the package deal that goes with the others? The expense, social stigma, smell, health effects, possible loss of life. Do you want to go back to smoking, full fledged, until it cripples and kills you? Stated like this it normally is not a back and forth debate. The answer will normally be, "No I don’t want to smoke under these terms, and these are the only terms a cigarette comes with. Normally if viewed like this the debate is over with almost immediately after pulled into focus. Again, if the focus is only on one, you can drive yourself nuts throughout the whole day. If they focus on the whole package deal, you will walk away from the moment relieved to still be smoke free and sufficiently reinforced to never take another puff! Joel" So in summary, to stop obsessing about cigarettes identify and fix the underlying problem, practice stress reduction techniques every day and realize that yes, you want a cigarette right now. But you only want ONE SINGLE cigarette. There ain't no such thing. You are torturing yourself with a fantasy. Lastly, when I was really afraid that I was going to relapse, I re-started Chantix for a week or two. That calmed the obsessive thinking and allowed me to get grounded again. I suspect that any NRT that worked for you to help you quit (if you used one) would work to help you avoid a relapse. Hang in there. You and I (and some others) are fighting this same battle. We are going to win! And little by little it does get better and easier. Keep the Quit, baby!

Love, love, love it, eh? Are you by any chance English? :P

Tracey, I think that what you said earlier was correct-- the cats that were easy to place went to your neighbors. Special cats like these unfortunate, rejected brothers need special people like you and Rez. That's where your talents lie.

Congratulations, Natalie! You've done extremely well this week and you're all set to continue your success one day at a time. Little by little, it does get easier. You'll see. Meanwhile, give yourself a big hug! (((NATALIE!!)))

Good news-- my mother has recovered enough that she will be transferred to a rehab facility today. Excellent! She has been treated at this rehab facility before and likes it so I think that the familiarity of the people and the routines will help her to feel secure and to recover faster. So assuming that she does get to rehab today and get settled in, I think I will be able to go home tomorrow. I wanted to share an observation with you that has nothing to do with smoking but which may come in handy for you some day. As you may know, pneumonia is one of the major causes of death in hospitals, especially among elderly patients. If the patients can get up and walk around, there is little danger, but for people who are confined to bed, pneumonia is a real danger. That is why hospitals always give patients a spirometer- a graduated plastic cylinder that contains a ping pong ball. The patient needs to breathe in to raise the ball. A spirometer encourages the patient to breathe deeply to expand their lungs and cough up any fluids that start to accumulate (pneumonia grows in the accumulated lung fluids). Every time I visited my mother I made sure that she used the spirometer every hour or two and I insisted that she try to make the ball rise higher than last time. Yesterday she said to me, "Why are you the only one who makes me use this thing?" Frankly, I was shocked but I realized that she was right. Not one other person ever reminded her to use the spirometer-- no nurse, no physical therapist, no occupational therapist-- nobody. And yet, because of my constant prompting, my mother's post-surgical lung capacity increased from 250 cc to a near normal 1100 cc over the course of 3 days, the fluid in her lungs is gone and she is not in danger of developing pneumonia. In addition to the spirometer, I also reinforce the physical therapy. So, for example, a PT will come in each morning and have Mom do some arm and torso exercises and then sit on the edge of the bed for a while. This helps her strength and breathing and balance. But they only come once a day. So I had them teach me how so that Mom and I can do the PT exercises 3 times a day (i.e., sitting up for meals). Bedsores are also a major hazard so I found out how to safely turn Mom every 2 hours. Same with an anti-itch cream-- supposed to be applied to her back every 2-3 hours but the nurses do it once or twice a day. So I do it every time I turn her. In a high-intensity situation like this (i.e., post surgery) I will generally be visiting my mother for 5 or 6 hours a day and I am usually busy most of that time. My point here is not that I am any sort of superhero. My point is that now-a-days hospital personnel are very busy and often have too many patients to care for and too much computer work to do. Family members who visit patients, especially elderly patients, can do a lot to reinforce and extend what the professionals do even if you, like me, have no medical training. In this way, our loved ones will be more comfortable, will regain their strength more quickly, and will not develop dangerous and debilitating bedsores or pneumonia. Just something that I have learned as a typical "sandwich generation" baby boomer. I hope this information will be of help to you.

Storm is brilliant! Love it! I never heard of Tim Minchin before but I'm sure going to look for more examples of his work.

Natalie, you pulled yourself out of this panic. Yes, we gave you suggestions. Yes, we cheered you on. But YOU were only one who could make the choice to take steps to get your anxiety under control. You chose to hang on and ride the wave of the crave, and you told yourself N.O.P.E. Nobody else did that--you did! No, it wasn't fun, but now you KNOW what to do when the anxiety rears up and you KNOW that you can hang tough and you KNOW that the horrible feelings will pass. So now your quit is stronger than it was before this happened. Good for you! I'm so proud of you for posting an SOS and for your strength and determination!

Well, that might be stretching it a bit. But I'm sure that she will buy each of us a drink when we join her on the Lido deck. Right, Nancy?

Yeah. I suspect that Nancy is trying to hack in through a secret "back door" so she can get her hands on our "Likes". Everybody keep a sharp lookout for a teeny tiny bandit tiptoeing through your posts. Therein lies danger! :o

Oh, absolutely, Gabby. You really do have to be your own best "booster". Take the time to NOTICE and to APPRECIATE all the little things that are getting better since you quit smoking. Then pat yourself on the back for making the decision and for keeping your quit to make all these good things happen. And you know what? If you can get in the habit of noticing and appreciating the good things in your life-- your whole life not just your non-smoking life-- you will be a much happier and well-rounded person forever and ever. Isn't that cool? Notice. Appreciate. Applaud. That's the secret to success and happiness!!

Gee, Nancy, if you add your life insurance savings to what you save on cigarettes you're talking real dough here! What are you going to do with your new-found wealth?

My sister just left for the airport to go home. I did NOT fight with her this week. I did NOT smoke. Hooray for both of us! Basically, we stayed out of each other's way. We took different shifts staying with Mom at the hospital. During the few hours that we were in the same house, we stayed in different rooms and ate different meals at different times. We spoke as often as necessary about Mom's condition and care and other than that we had nothing to say to each other. A sad state of affairs for sisters but surely better than the tension and screaming fights we have had in the past. Mom's condition is improving. She was really hit hard by the surgical anesthesia and was semi-comatose for the first 36 hours. Because she was laying in bed for so long being completely inert and non-responsive, my sister and I began to be concerned about her developing pneumonia (the #1 killer of elderly hospitalized patients). So Friday night I stayed in her room all night and woke her up every 2 hours by rubbing ice water on her face so that she would wake up enough to breathe deeply and cough up any accumulated fluids. She got really mad at me for doing that but too bad. It worked. By Saturday afternoon she was awake enough to use that spirometer-thingy to get her lungs functioning so I was happy. Her vital signs are good. She's getting some early PT and hopefully will be able to transfer to a rehab hospital near her home on Monday or Tuesday. I'm telling you, this is one tough old bird! My sister and I did share a laugh the other day when we were marveling at our mother's toughness. We began to speculate that the only thing that would kill Mom would be a stake through her heart! Life is strange. At 92 with many serious injuries and disabilities and the loss of most friends and many loved ones, my mother has said many times that she is "ready to go". And yet each time the opportunity to die presents itself (like 3 heart attacks, a broken neck and now this surgery), she fights her way through it. I guess her life force is still strong in her. It's fascinating to watch. So I'm still in Tampa until Mom gets settled in a rehab facility. But I'm relieved about Mom's condition, relieved that I didn't fight with my sister, and relieved that I didn't smoke. Basically, just relieved all around! :) Thank you all for being there for me and thank you for your good wishes and your prayers. You really helped me to weather some of the rough times this past week. Hugs to all of you fine people ((( :wub: QT Friends!! :wub: )))

Just a quick note to let you know that my mother got through her surgery without any problems. Naturally, she will need close observation and aggressive pain management for the first 72 hours, but so far so good. Thank you all for your prayers and good wishes. I'll write more later. PS-- I'm not smoking and not even jonesing about smoking. Hooray!

Marti, thank you for posting this here. As I said on your blog, you really captured the "Day 1" experience in a few well-chosen words. It's great for all of us to look back and be reminded how awful we felt in the beginning and how good we feel now. Your poem is a great example of and tribute to this journey we all share.

I love the poem, Marti! It's so honest and so evocative. You really captured the quit smoking experience! I just saw this here on your blog. Now I have to go find it on the Main Board. I'm so glad that you posted it there.

Oh, Sandy, what a relief that must be! I am so impressed with the way you hung in there through all this messed-up sleep pattern but still kept your quit. Ordinarily, I would say, "Go out and celebrate!" but in your case I will say, "Crawl into bed and celebrate!" Enjoy!

Sammie, you have such a great attitude and spirit! I am sure that this is going to be your "sticky quit". Don't get too cocky-- continue to take things one day at a time-- but I think you're going to go all the way with this. Way to go, SAMMIE!!!

I am happy to report that so far things are going better here than I expected. In the first place, I'm feeling pretty calm about my mother's condition. She's resting comfortably in the hospital awaiting surgery this afternoon. The doctors and nurses are being good about controlling her pain (i.e., they are listening to me and accepting my advice :) ) I don't have to get aggravated about her care. What happens after the surgery remains to be seen. My sister and I have been able to peacefully discuss Mom's care and condition and other than that we stay out of each other's way. She is voluntarily smoking outside and not leaving her cigarettes laying around so that's a help to me. So thus far things are going better than I expected. The next 2 or 3 days will be critical, however. Please keep praying that things work out for the best for my mother (whatever that means).