Chrysalis

Well of course everybody likes Nancy best! She stole all the LIKES!! :P

love boat

Bakon, I didn't know that you are a poet! My favorite stanza is: "Eggs are bad girls in hiding, the girl next door type, but with leather for Saturday nights and pooka dots Sunday morning.." Set that to music and you will be famous! Keep 'em coming. :wub:

Hi, Geri- Welcome to the emotional see-saw we call "quitting smoking"! Last night you were yelling and screaming and seriously doubting your ability to quit. Today you are calm and rational and able to believe that things will gradually get better day-by-day. What a difference! And do you know what's going to happen next? Yep-- at some point you will be back to the screaming meemies for a while and then after that you will again feel strong and calm... and so it goes. But if you look carefully you will see that the periods of distress become shorter and less frequent and the periods of calm become longer and more frequent. You're doing really well; I am very impressed with you!! Remember to keep reading your list of reasons why you decided to quit in the first place. Repeat to yourself, "I want to quit more than I want to smoke!" You know, one of the saddest posts I ever read was from a father of young children. When he was smoking he would avoid playing with his children or would cut short the games so that he could go outside to smoke. After he quit, he discovered that his young son always felt badly when Daddy went outside. The boy assumed that Daddy was bored playing with the son and used smoking as an excuse to leave the game. The little boy was thrilled because now Daddy would stay with him for a whole hour and finish whatever game or project they were doing together. It's amazing when we get a glimpse into how our children think, isn't it? Then there was the mother who always refused to go on field trips or Girl Scout camping trips because she wouldn't be able to smoke while on the trip. Once she quit smoking, she got a lot more quality time with her girls and they built a lot of happy memories together. So for you, Geri, or for anyone with young children, remember that the negative impact of your smoking on your children is not just as a bad example, a waste of money and possible early illness and death. The impact is right there every single day in the way your addiction is more important to you than your children are-- and your children suffer because of it.

I'm so excited about this HUGE bonfire that we are creating to honor people who have been killed or maimed by cigarettes! I'm kind of frustrated because I want to do more for the bonfire but I already threw in all my unsmoked cigarettes. :( But here-- have some accelerant!! :P

vacation

Geri, hang in there! You're doin' it! You ain't diggin' it, but you're doin' it! You're more than half way through 72 hours-- for Pete's sake don't stop now!! Breathe deeply. Go for a walk if you can. Read your list of reasons why you decided to quit smoking. Remind yourself that you want to quit more than you want to smoke. Educate yourself by coming here to read old posts and watch Joel's videos. Distract yourself from your craves and get a few laughs by reading the "Nonsmoking Cats" thread and the "Nonsmoking Dogs" thread. You are not "a special snowflake". In other words, you do NOT have it worse than the rest of us. We have ALL been through what you are going through. And we're here to tell you that it really does get better and easier every day. Despite what your Nicodemon tells you, people who are weeks or months away from cigarettes do NOT suffer constant cravings. It just does NOT happen!! A few may romance cigarettes and continue to "want to smoke" but that is NOTHING like the craves we experience during the first few days. Hang tough, Geri. You can do this! Keep posting here and whining and screaming and crying. That's OK. That's good. Just don't smoke!!

Add my 6,624 cigarettes for a total of 70366 cigarettes on the bonfire!! I like adding up the amount of money we have taken away from the tobacco industry, too. So far (including me) we have deprived them of $22,604! :acute:

Hi, Sue, I live in Georgia and my mother lives in Florida-- about 500 miles away. But as your situation illustrates, the point is not the distance. It's about exploitation and taking advantage of people whether you are 500 miles or 5 miles apart. I love my mother very much and I have done and will continue to do lots and lots of things to help her out. I have been to Florida to help her and/or visit with her 4 times so far this year and will go there at least once more this year. My sister has done the same. That is in addition to the 3-4 hours a week I put into managing her finances, paying her bills, arranging for someone to fix her sprinkler system, recruiting a new cleaning lady for her, etc. etc. I believe that it is ethically required that we make sure that our parents are safe and adequately cared for. But that does not mean that we, personally, have to do everything for them. It is sufficient that we take steps to hire people or get our parents signed up with Medicaid or various social service agencies or assisted living facilities and so on to make sure that our parents are OK. Despite my repeated requests, my mother refused to relocate to be closer to me. That is her right. But I do not have to twist myself into a pretzel to care for her in order to satisfy that whim. If your mother-in-law is taking advantage of your husband that is your husband's fault, not your mother-in-law's fault. Nobody can take advantage of anybody without their acquiescence. That applies to aging parents, dependent adult children, or friends or neighbors. The problem is that most people want everybody to love them. So they will do ANYTHING in order to avoid arguments or complaints of, "If you loved me you would do this for me." My mother actually said that she expected that I would cut off my right arm for her if she needed it. That's a lot to expect, don't you think? And in point of fact, if my arm was a life-or-death matter, I might even do that. But when the issue is that she wants me to stop my life again so I can come to Florida to care for her for 2 weeks so she doesn't have to hire a home health aide (which she can well afford) then my answer is "No." I am different from most people. I am able to decide for myself what I think is reasonable and to draw a line there. If people get mad at me and call me selfish, so be it. I KNOW that I am not selfish. I know how much I do for other people (and how little they usually do for me). My conscience is clear so let them be angry. And, yes, my mother is still speaking to me. She got my sister to come to Florida instead of me, so Mom was happy. Of course, now my sister is not speaking to me because I "dumped" Mom on her. Obviously, my sister, like your husband, can't say "No" so I'm the jerk. Ah, families!! :(

Tracey, staying with your Mum and helping her out like that is a real labor of love. Not everybody would put themselves through such unpleasant circumstances. I hope that you have a nice visit with your mother but I also hope you won't have to be there very long. Focus on the good things in life-- visiting your friend for a few days and then next month, back to the States.

At 92 years of age my mother insists on living alone in Florida, states away from either of her 2 children. She always swore that she did not expect either daughter to run down to Florida all the time to take care of Mom. But now that is exactly what she is expecting. I finally figured out that she justifies it to herself by saying, "I would never exploit my daughters or expect too much from them. Therefore, what I am asking now, this time, is just a small thing-- not exploitative at all." (But she tells that to herself every time.) To me, that sounds an awful lot like the junkie thinking that kept us all hooked on nicotine (as in "I'm not addicted. I smoke because I like to smoke.") People are funny, aren't they? The twists and turns our minds make to justify what we want-- amazing! :) PS-- I finally put my foot down and said, "No, I'm not coming this time." Boy, am I in the sh*t house! :(

calm

Yes, diabetes in cats is very common. But it can be well-controlled. If she needs insulin, be sure to ask about the insulin pen where you just dial in the correct dose. Much, much easier on the human and the cat. Good for you for noticing her change in behavior and getting it checked out. I'm sure that she will be just fine because of your quick action.

I really like the way you do that, Tom. Thanks for the tip! I'm going to try that the next time I make stew (which I guarantee will be soon!)

So do you add vegetables at the beginning of cooking to flavor the stew and then add more vegetables at the end of the cooking period? I never heard of doing that. Sounds smart.

Yes, Sue, the "sticky things" we had as kids were called burrdocks. My brother thought it was very funny to throw burrdocks at my hair. Wow! Did it ever hurt to get the burrdocks out. I think that was one time my mother really put her foot down with my brother.

Welcome, Rosie! It's so great that you quit and that you chose to join us and share your journey with us. Quitting smoking really will improve the quality of your life and your daughter's life. I used Chantix to help me quit smoking but I don't have enough information to understand why you are having so much trouble. As MQ said, were you OK while you were on Chantix and just developed strong cravings when you stopped the Chantix? Do you miss smoking cigarettes because they relieved your stress or your boredom or something? Have you been craving cigarettes for the whole 2 months or just the past week? Please explain in a little more detail what you are experiencing so we can help you.

Chris, I hate those cone things! I know that they don't hurt the animal, but they're so annoying. A few years ago, our cat had surgery on his flank. To keep him from tearing off the dressing and the stitches, the vet put one of those collars on him. It really bothered me (probably more than it bothered the cat). If the only purpose was to keep the cat from licking the wound, the collar just seemed like overkill. So I cut the legs off a pair of panty hose and I cut the crotch out. I removed the collar, put the cat's head through the crotch and put his front legs through the leg holes. Then I pulled the panty hose down the length of his body almost to his tail. Sort of like a T-shirt. It was so light and comfortable the cat didn't even know it was there. But the mesh fabric prevented the cat from messing with the bandage or the stitches. When we took the cat back to the vet 5 days later, he was delighted. He thought it was a brilliant idea! Could you put some panty hose on Alex's back legs to keep him from crewing on his stitches? Just a thought.

muffle

hypnotized

Well, I guess I'll play the Devil's Advocate here. If your outfit was so modest why did this horrible man not know where to look? Just the fact that he used that particular phrase means to me that he was trying not to appear to be leering at any part of your body. I mean, if he was truly lecherous he would say something like, "Nice boobs" or "Hubba hubba" or something, right? So I think that he was trying to gently let you know that your outfit made him uncomfortable. You may think that he should not have felt that way, but he did. If your garment is way above your knees it's not modest. It doesn't matter whether you call it a dress or a tunic or a potato sack-- it's very short and not modest. If your legs are covered with a stretchy material that shows every luscious curve of your ankle, calf and thigh it's very tight-- doesn't matter if you call it tights or leggings or opaque pantyhose-- it's skin tight and not modest. Women wear skin tight leggings and a short, short top to show off their nice bodies and attract male attention. If you want to do that and your company allows it, go right ahead. But why do you get bent out of shape when a man verbalizes the reaction you were trying to provoke? That doesn't make sense to me.

[Hey! Where is everybody? You don't like "fleeting"? OK. I'll try something else.] Joyful

The paella turned out great! It looked just like the photo except that I didn't have any butternut squash so I used some chopped sweet red peppers, frozen corn and frozen peas (mine was prettier than the photo :) ). My husband (who hates leftovers) said that he would be happy to eat it again tomorrow.

For some reason, I have been "off" cooking for the last month or so but I think I'm getting in the mood again. So tonight we're having a chicken and chorizo paella. I've made it before but I decided to try a new recipe from Michael Symons. Wish me luck!

Hi, Beacon. Being "Chrysalis" means that I am in the process of becoming the best me I can be. I hope and expect that the process will continue for the rest of my life. But if and when I become truly perfect, I most certainly will change my name! :D