gloworm

Friday was to be my quit day... I was breezing along doing fairly well that day but had a bump in the road and I just imploded. Traumatic events that happen that early was just too much for me. On Saturday morning I had to put my beloved boxer dog Baxter down after only a couple days of illness so I had no time to even consider such a horrific outcome. He was 10 1/2 and I had had him since he was 4 weeks old and he was the love of my life. I got back on the train though late yesterday afternoon and I am doing well today. I don't have any cigarettes and wont' buy any. For fleeting moments from time to time I want one but it isn't bad.. nothing that I am pulling my hair out over. I was probably quite weak not continuing my quit when I had to put my dog down, but on the up side I did stay alcohol free when I had every intention and had actually given myself permission to have a double shot of Patron's. I chose against it and to stay clear minded as I cried. Some day really soon I will also feel that way about cigarettes.. I won't want to spoil/ruin the progress that I make for anything..

Allen Carr's book said that strategizing when a good time to quit is can be difficult.. if you quit in a stressful time we'll want a cigarette even more and if we quit in a non stressful time we'll have no need to quit because we think smoking relieves stress... haha.. I think his point was that we all so don't get that we think we smoke to relieve stress and in reality we stress because we smoke, we don't want to smoke and the minute we put one down we're anxious about when we'll be able to smoke the next one. Anyway, I mention the stress part since yesterday was my first day. Did I do perfect?? No unfortunately I didn't.. I have a boxer dog that I have had since he was 6 weeks old. He is now almost 11 and we aren't sure what's wrong with him but a trip to the vet and blood tests were done. We know by his behavior that something is seriously wrong, possibly heart or cancer? So yes, I had a stressful day and night. I had two cigarettes and guess what?? It did NOT make me feel better... not one bit. It made me feel worse because then I had to start my hours and days all over again and it did nothing to make my dog better or give me any relief... geez, so I guess now I know why I need to make every hour an accomplishment. I had my last puff at 4 pm yesterday, so I've made it 12 hours. I can't sleep and all I want to do is write and cry and pray for my dog. Boxer's aren't known to live long lives but of course I was hoping for another couple years. 13 is about maximum for them.

This was a great video.. thanks for sharing it. I thought I had seen them all on youtube. I am doing ok today... lots of urges but have kept them in check. I went out and got a color book and some colored pencils, a paint by number picture and I have my puzzle I am working on. I am tired tonight though.. physically tired, actually exhausted. I suppose that's normal when doing battle with the enemy.. takes a lot out of us I suppose. So far today the hardest thing has been the morning cigarette when I get up... I smoke 10-12 cigs a day, long ones, menthol 120's . I have 6 puffs or so, put it out and then go back to it later and have another 5 or 6. I have been doing that for a long time. Anyway, I am committed and Allen Carr's book has been pivitol... I want the Easy Way plan and that's all there is to it. I may not have been perfect today but I will be tomorrow as I replace old habits and patterns with new. My friends tell me to be kind to myself while I do this and not get discouraged, but I am getting rather pissed off with this whole addition crap. I just passed 21 days alcohol free and feel great and I will overcome nicotine come HELL OR HIGH WATER. I have learned a lot about nicotine over the last 3 weeks of preparing myself and its not going to beat me. Not this time!! :)

I am excited and a little afraid.. tomorrow is my quit day, I have been 21 days alcohol free so I am glad I am over that drama, it really wasn't a big deal in retrospect and I haven't even thought about it much for a week. I have read and investigated so much on being smoke free I guess I might as well go for it since this was the goal I had planned for myself. Allen Carr's book has helped tremendously and I know he says to keep puffing away until you put the last one out but I have to say I just can't do it anymore. It's harder and harder to light one but the craving and habit is still there. It's like I want one and I don't which of course is no big surprise to all of you here. I have 6 left in my pack and one pack unopened so whatever is left is going in the trash. I have nobody to give them to because nobody I know smokes anymore or never have. Anyway.. that's it.. tomorrow I get my freedom of which I'll have no idea what to do with since I have smoked my entire adult life... It's hard for me to think about what that will look and feel like, but everybody says it will be wonderful.

I have decided to wait until Friday.. that is my official 21 days of being alcohol free. I know, it may seem like I am dragging my feet but I am not.. I had suggestions from my family and friends and they told me to not pile too much on at one time especially since smoking and drinking go hand in hand for me. I am just now getting over major crankiness from booze so I would like to feel a little normal for a couple days anyway. haha!! I also ordered a book somebody mentioned here by Allen Carr.. that comes tomorrow. I have read all kinds of rave reviews of it really helping people.. like millions of people quit smoking. anyway, thanks for asking you guys.. in the mean time I have cut down to 5-6 a day and don't take them with me anyplace I go. We'll be gone all afternoon and honestly I get by those times that I can't smoke pretty well as long as I don't have them with me. I have 3 packs left so on Friday they'll get tossed. I think cold turkey is my only way.

Gosh... thank you everyone for all your suggestions and comments. These next 4 days and beyond I will spend on educating myself and being positive. When I get up now to go have a puff or two I wonder what I will do when I don't have that. I hope I don't eat... I think i'll start a puzzle and when the urge hits I'll go do that instead. Beyond that I am clueless but i'll figure it out. maybe take a spin around the block on my bike? anyway, I am thankful for finding this site. I think writing like this is therapeutic and reading everybody else's posts helps me understand the process better. 50 years of smoking... but I won't have 50 years smoke free so I better enjoy the next (I hope) 20 years.

This is great information in anticipation for what I am doing in 4 days. I have heard that quitting can leave a huge hole in your life.. one that has been taken up constantly by the act itself and the obsession of when, where and how can we plan ahead for the next light up. I am not really sure what to expect.. I have been smoking almost 50 years so I have no idea what talents I may discover and hobbies I may find. I have no idea who or what I am without cigarettes but guess I'll find out. It's kind of exciting in a way.. just hope underneath the smoke there isn't a crabby b**tch. LOL

I just saw that somebody posted to introduce yourself here.. I already did on a blog but here goes. Hi Everybody, I have not quit yet, I am getting mentally prepared.. my quit date is May 29th, that will be the 21st day for me of being wine/alcohol free. I had to deal with that first as it's a huge trigger for me and I drank every day. It was easier than I thought to quit drinking, I hope quitting smoking will be that way but something tells me it won't be. Has anybody tried e-cigarettes and do they help? I smoke about 10 cigs a day. Misty 120 Menthol Ultra lights. I smoke the long ones as I smoke about 1/2 of it then put it out and go back for the other half. I smoke more when I am in the car as I have to smoke it all.. heaven forbid I waste 1/2 of a perfectly good cigarette. I live with a non smoker and can go a long time without a cigarette. We do a lot of things together when I don't even take my cigs with me and nobody in my family smokes.. as a matter of fact, I don't have any friends that smoke any more. My best friend died a year and a half ago. She had a stroke, died of massive heart attack 3 months later and she smoked like a chimney, was only 62. (caution, graphic description coming) The last time I saw her somewhat alive she had 6 bags of fluids being pumped in to her in Intensive Care, blood coming from her nose and ears and out of every needle prick in her body. Now you would THINK that picture alone would be enough for somebody to give quitting serious effort right?? Losing her was horrible and even after she had a stroke she didn't quit completely, that is how insidious this habit and addition is. Well, we all think those things won't happen to us.. but it can and it does so here I go.. ready or not this HAS to happen for me. So, my question is... I know everybody is different, but is cold turkey better? I have a feeling it will be for me!! How do you handle back sliding?? do e-cigarettes have any value? Thanks to all of you for everything.. so far what I have seen on the site its exactly what I need. Gloworm

I have not quit yet.. I am mentally preparing myself and I am finding lots of good stuff on this site. Thank you for all the resources and information you all are providing. My quit date is May 29th.. I chose that date because that will be the day I am 21 days alcohol free. The alcohol had to go first as I smoke a lot when I drink and I drank everyday. I feel I have to eliminate as many triggers as I can. I smoke about 10 cigs a day. Misty 120 menthol ultra lights. I buy the long ones as I take a few puffs, maybe smoke 1/2 of it and put it out and then go back to it later. Anyway, just wanted to post and acknowledge my desire to quit for the 100th time.. this time I really MUST make this happen. I think quitting smoking will be harder than quitting alcohol, but that alone has given me confidence that I am strong enough to do this. I am tired of my hacking cough. I am tired of lying about smoking and hiding behind buildings and always thinking about where is the next place I can sneak a few puffs. I am 63 years old and thought in 1968 smoking was really cool as most of us on this site as a baby boomer probably can relate to. Except for short periods of time when I was expecting babies I have smoked consistently and tried to quit consistently. So, what does it really feel like to be smoke free?? How do you fill in your time and can I do this without gaining a ton of weight? Has anybody tried hypnosis? I really don't want to take prescription drugs. A friend tried Chantix and he got so depressed he was almost suicidal. Anyway, thanks again and am sure I will visit this site quite a lot during my journey to being smoke free. G