Let.Me.Clear.My...!

Doreen, My heart is with you! I'm pretty new here and am only on day 5 of no nicotine and this was such a heart felt post. I really respect you and respect your decision to share such an emotional part of your life. Thank you =)

Thank you so much Nancy, this letter really hit the nail on the head. I have sent this to my boyfriend and I really just hope he understands. I just want to feel like myself again.

Thank you guys for all of your responses! I just feel like my mind is just going crazy and one minute I'm up and the next I'm down and I just don't know how to deal with this. My boyfriend and I live together and I feel like my mood swings are sabotaging my relationship with him. I feel increasingly insecure about everything and it's just all a mess. This is all completely normal, right?

Hello all! My name is Brittany. I've been smoking/vaping for about 10 years. Was smoking about a pack and a half a day for about 8 years and then switched over to vaping about 2 years ago. Began vaping at the 24mg nicotine level and ever so slowly got down to the 12mg level with the intentions of one day being at 3mg and then from there quitting all together. Haven't been able to get much lower than 12mg without wanting to rip my face off so I convinced myself if I'm going to quit, it's going to suck whether I'm at 12mg or 3mg, so continued to stay at 12mg. I quit last Sunday, May 1st, and I am really just trying to keep it together here. I have made countless attempts at quitting nicotine for years and years with never even a glimmer of success (obviously). I'm super excessive with smoking and vaping. I vape non stop all day every damn day until I sleep, and even then my vape is always right next to me and I'll be puffing from it in my sleep. I'm here today (technically tonight, It's like 10:00pm) because I really want this time to be it for my history book of nicotine use. I don't know what else to do or who else to talk to. Very few of my friends have smoking addictions and the ones that do are perfectly content living their lives high-fiving a pack of American Spirits. And it's like some of my friends seem to have crazy abilities to just smoke and not smoke whenever they wish and I'm like WTF? I'm just broken inside. I feel broken and alone and depressed as shit. I'm, no joke, one of the happiest, most chipper individuals to exist on this planet and the past 4 days I just feel so much hate for myself and everyone else around me. I. Just. cant. So I figured maybe I could take advantage of the wide world of web and join one of these support forums and maybe I can find some comfort here. Everyone is all like "oh hunny, its going to be oooookay!", and I get that but that's like waaaaay later and I'm not okay now and I need to be or at least connect with some people who aren't okay now and maybe that will help me pick my sissy ass up the floor and quit being silly about this. Any who, if anyone can make anything of any of that, thank you! This is literally the first time I've been on a forum thingy in well over 10 years so I'm not sure how this all works. I hope you all have a great evening!