Karen

I can't believe it has took me this long to finally read "Tuesdays with Morrie" What moving true story of a professor who ends up with ALS (Lou Gehrigs disease) and wants his story told.

Not all in your head at all, those are breathing exercises to relax:) I do those sometimes when trying to fall asleep at night. My body is tired but my mind keeps on going :blink:

Sirius YES!!!! That is exactly what I'm talking about...I need to "learn to detect when your mind is wandering off into negative territory and squash the daydream before it gets started" . So at the first little inkling when I start to get that stinkin thinkin, I need to STOP IT, and get my brain refocused. Thank you also.

Sunnyside, I actually did have a rubber band on my wrist last time. Doreen I forgot about my coloring book, I love to color! It's an adult one that I bought right before having my knee replaced,I'll do that too, great tip! Boo, ah yes...the dreaded pushups that I am supposed to be doing every day to be able to pull my bow(archery) back again more easily :) I did watch a great video Joel has today about thinking of having "just one" there is no such thing as just one, just as for me there is no such thing as just one cold beer etc... if and when I start thinking just one, from now on I'm going to think "the big picture" which is thousands of cigs smoked and thousands of dollars spent and hours and hours of wasting time by poisoning the very body the creator blessed me with. I feel like a social creep smoking out in public these days. Tired of feeling that way.

So I'm concentrating on reading and listening to videos on the subject. Any thoughts on what helped you in this respect would be appreciated. When you found your mind drifting into the danger zone how did you redirect your thoughts?

Yup, I can so relate. I want those days behind me.....far,far behind me.

Thank you Nicole! So glad to see this post from you :) Stopped on my way to work and bought some nic gum....so far,so good.

Thank you Nancy, my old ticker did nothing but make me angry at myself, but then again, maybe I needed to see it every time I posted.

And please will someone tell me how to wipe out that meter.

Bakon, no way do I think of myself as a "special snowflake" I knew that if I put this out here about the bipolar/meds/cold turkey situation I am trying to figure out, someone might see it as an excuse , but i absolutely refuse to compromise my very sanity and risk needing to be admitted to a mental health facility. So no, I will NEVER attempt cold turkey again. I've been lurking and reading in the meantime and have not set a new quit date.

Boo, do you think a pharmacist would have any solid answer to my question? Or would it just be what he has also read?

Thanks Nancy I do plan on sticking around and reading a lot more here....for now I'm using nic. gum. There just HAS to be somewhere on the web credible info on how nicotine interacts with antidepressants and mood stabilizers.

I was doing pretty good other than being very confused and borderline disoriented yesterday. I just read your replies to the nicotine/bipolar issue I am wondering about. I believe for ME nic gum or patch is the best method. I'm going to set a new quit date in the very near future AFTER I talk to my phsychiatrist who I 've worked with for many years. I smoked a cig last night, so I caved once again. If anyone dare imply that I am just using this (bp) as an excuse....I will answer you in the room where I can swear. I am also a recovering alcoholic/drug addict. When I hit rock bottom in 1986 I checked myself in for 30 days treatment and followed up with aftercare and many AA meetings. So am very aware of the laws of addiction. I cannot even count how many times I have attempted to quit smoking ....But I do find this addiction to be more difficult to quit and STAY quit for the long run than the others. I am truly sorry and immensely regret not reaching out and posting an SOS last night, for that there is no excuse. I didn't even give you guys a chance.:(

Maryland quitter you said it so much more eloquently than Sarge, although I realize Sarge has only the best of intentions so says it like it is. Today is better I suppose but very strange mentally. I FORGOT to go to work. For real, which is not good. I am still so confused and disoriented and soooo exhausted although I slept well.. I really am wondering what role nicotine plays in the brain of someone with bipolar disorder and when the supply of nicotine is cut off cold turkey???

Not one puff today. How do I reset ticker?

Thanks all for the good advice, once again. This has been the longest day of my frickin life and I am totally exhausted. I did however use two pieces of nic gum. This afternoon I felt so confused and disoriented that I didn't know what else to do. I did not smoke though, and tomorrow is a new day, and I am going to just give in and surrender and not fight the natural process inside me of withdrawal.

From this moment on, not one puff today. Ever freaks me out right now, so I must break this down into one day at a time.

Day 1 again. I soaked the rest of the pack. I have patches here if I feel I want to go that route again and I also have 2 mg nic. gum if I feel I want to go that route. But ultimately I would really like to do this cold turkey as that is one thing I have never attempted. So I have a plan in place here, I am referring to my addiction as the demon inside me, and only I can kill it, one day, one hour, one minute at a time.

Hi Carlos, I'm Karen and need to figure out how to reset my quit meter also. In a nutshell: I quit smoking on feb 6th joined this site, was doing fantastic and threw it all away april 1st. Came back yesterday and today I am starting over. WE can do this. I wish you the the best in the quit. Glad you jumped back on the train much quicker than I did.

Since I relapsed my smoking has gone OVER a pack a day now. I have to kill the demon inside me. When I picked up that first cigarette it was horrible, hurt my lungs, make me dizzy and I felt like puking. I was 5 days short of a solid two month quit. I have set a new quite date, May 1st. I was just out mowing the lawn for the first time this season, and noticed how out of shape I really am. I was huffing and puffing and it really surprised me. Time to quit.

I want to quit but I want to smoke too....does this make any frickin sense at all because I am REALLY confused and angry about this. About what my brain is telling me. I do NOT like to be confused. I had been romancing the cig for a day and a half and finally caved. I bought a pack on my way home from work today and smoked another one. They taste like crap and make me dizzy and stink. Addiction sucks. I'm going to read Alan Cars book again. So I have not totally given up. So in answer to Bakons question I guess I am a smoker right now.

Sorry, but I have to be honest here. About an hour ago I smoked one of husbands cigs after he went to bed. No excuse here, Just confessing. It is what it is. And it sucks :(

`I love bow hunting I love fishing I love gun hunting Guess which one is the lie.

AINT NO HOW AINT NO WAY NOT ONE PUFF FOR ME TODAY!

:) Nope! :)