IndigoChilde

-19

Looks good. I'll have to try it.

-9

-6

Of course! You're always welcome. I've kept your seat right next to me! I knew you'd be back!

-5

Thanks everyone! Evelyn, what happened?

Congrats on one month!

Congratulations Corey!

So I woke up at 4:00 this morning with the realization I still had the patch on. So it took it off and went back to bed. But then I was too hot and couldn't get back to sleep, so I went downstairs to the living room to cool off. Stayed up for an hour and a half and didn't even think of having a smoke. Then realized I was up for good and went to go put the patch on. Not sure if I need it anymore, but I'd rather ween off according to the schedule. Heard movement upstairs so I went to go make coffee. I went outside after mom got up and she asked if I was going to smoke, I said no, I'm quitting. I think because I slipped up she thought I was going back to smoking, but I'm not doing that again. Fourth of July and I didn't smoke once. But then I don't think anyone actually smoked at the party. Though one person was vaping and it kinda reminded me of when I used to vape, but I don't want to get into that habit too, even if it's nicotine free (which I still have some of the juices for it). I'm afraid I'll just go back to smoking because vaping never felt as good as smoking, and it'd just remind me of that. Only problem I'm having right now is my stomach seems to be a little upset, which I usually smoked to "cure." So that's giving me a few craves. Oh, as a side note, I finally got that letter from my doctor saying I can work. I'm going to call my intake worker today and find out what I need to do next.

Father's Day BBQ was amazing! Once people started arriving I forgot all about smoking, which kinda reinforces that being alone triggers some of my craves. And especially once my sons arrived, I was ALL about them. I didn't care what anyone else was talking about, I was spending time with my boys. And my younger son, Alex, is a cuddle bug. My older son, Devin, isn't even too fond of kisses anymore. Soon he'll be too old for hugs! OMG! Anyway, we had Family Feud on, and since some answers involve sex or drugs from time to time, I decided something a little more kid-friendly would be better. So I put on Aaron Stone for them. It's an older show from Disney XD and you can only buy it from iTunes. It's not on Netflix or DVD, which I think is stupid. I'd been buying individual episodes for a bit now, so I had five for them to watch, and they were all too happy to watch it. Alex cuddled with me the entire time. After the third episode we went out to play croquet. After a few rounds, they had to leave so I said my goodbyes and walked them out to the car. Afterward, my sister showed up and as she ate we shared a beer and the lot of us who were left watched car shows on TV. Stuff like Overhaulin' and Bitchin' Rides. My dad and my uncle (his youngest brother) talked about cars dad used to own and how they overhauled one on one of the episodes. Then they talked with my cousin Jimmy about how he's doing flipping house boats. I think it'd be cool to live on a house boat, but I'm sure I'd get tired of it pretty quickly. All-in-all it was a good day. My brother didn't show up until way later, but I think he had to work or something. But it's always great to see my brother. As usual, as the day got later I got the thought of "Shouldn't you be smoking by now?" This is the only point I disagree on with Allen Carr. I do believe we get into a habit with smoking, and some people have harder times breaking habits than others. He mentions how he can go from driving on the left side of the road to the right, but if it were me, I would have a lot of trouble breaking that habit. It takes me a lot to break old habits. Not that I'm not trying. If I wasn't, I wouldn't have made it through the day, but I don't think we'd have triggers if we didn't have habits to break. And we wouldn't autopilot into something. (One time I was outside smoking and didn't remember leaving the couch.) Thankfully I haven't autopiloted into smoking this time around, but I think that's because I'm being very conscientious about my smoking habit. I also try not to let myself get too tired, because that's when it's the worst. Naps are a wonderful thing. I also got my intake taken care of for the Department of Rehabilitation, and I'm hoping to get a state job. I actually want an office position. The only thing I need is a letter for my doctor saying that I can go back to work.

NOPE!

-15

-11 Ohayou...

-9

-7 You don't know the game, you brat.

Wonderful post! I kept my lighters, but I don't keep them with me. I carry them to birthday parties to light candles, because otherwise everyone's searching for a lighter. But I remember keeping one in my pocket, and getting tempted by others' butts. And yeah, it's gross in so many ways.

All my memories of being dizzy, nauseous, having a headache, feeling like crap. Those are all my reminders of why I don't smoke. Not to mention how much I hated myself and how hard I had to work to forgive myself for losing my quit before I could quit again. It was hard to quit the first time. It's easier to quit this time about because I automatically felt bad the moment I started smoking again.

-7 Hangin on hangin on! Found a new hobby in writing a blog about what happens in game.

-4 Going pretty good. I had a minor slip and took a few puffs, kicked myself in the ass, and got back on my quit. That was about day 8 or so. Then a heavy crave when I stepped down to level 2 patches, but I got past that and am doing fine.

-1

-15 Hi Saz. Hi everyone!

-11

-2

It's pretty cool. All sorts of educational videos and documentaries on sharks, as well as the typical causes of shark attacks. Did you know they actually ignore the smell of human blood, but will churn about looking for fish blood? It was fascinating!