IndigoChilde

What's a CT? Is that a Cat scan?

Dad helped me talk to mom and the next day mom hid the cigarettes. In a moment of desperation, I actually looked for them. I can't find them anywhere.

Yesterday was a lot of crying, frustration, and anger. But strangely few actual cravings. When they did come, they were strong though. I felt like each craving was running me over with a truck. I almost broke down and asked mom where she hid the cigarettes. I didn't though. I just went for a few walks and went upstairs for no real reason. I'd actually walk up there, walk back and forth a bit, then come back downstairs. Having the TV on helps a little so long as it's interesting. With cable and over 800 channels you'd think something interesting would be on.

This is my fourth day as a non-smoker and I feel really tired and thirsty. I've heard both are normal. Thankfully I have the luxury of just laying down under the covers on the couch and watching TV. As soon as I get more energy I'll probably be going for walks and working on my children's book.

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So tonight is our follow-up class to see how we're doing in our smoking cessation. The day is passing by so slowly compared to the last few days. And with being thirsty all the time, I'm having to use the bathroom all the time. I'm trying to be cheerful about quitting smoking, but I feel miserable.

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I write science fiction and fantasy mostly, but recently I finished the words for a children's book and am currently working on the illustrations for it. One of my favorite things King said in On Writing was that most books on writing have a lot of bs. I'm finding it's true about any "how to" book. I can see things and places where it could really be trimmed down.

Nope!

Congratulations on one month!

Does anyone else have this incredible thirst? It's like I can never get enough water.

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I don't read as often either. And I've got a list of books to read. I loved the Dark Tower series. The biggest problem is after Wizard and Glass, he got into an accident and didn't think he was going to write again. Then he started writing I think The Green Mile, and books started after that. He got so much fan mail about The Dark Tower that he started writing them again and the last three books all came out rather quickly one after the other.

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Made it through day 1 and am now working through day 2. I'm thinking back to the mistakes I made before (going out in the garage where the cigarettes are, forgetting my deep breathing exercises) and going over them in my head. Making new plans for the day. This time I don't have a 2 hour class before bedtime to keep me occupied in the last hours of the day, which I swear are the worst. So I'm thinking about watching a movie and relaxing before bed. Hope all goes well today.

I love reading Stephan King, even though I've only read the Dark Tower Series, Eyes of the Dragon, Misery, and am working on Carrie. I'm finding Carrie a little tougher to get through in the beginning, but I'm sure it will soon draw me in like the others. Oh, I've also read his book On Writing, since I'm an aspiring writer myself.