Welcome aboard, @Oona
First off, you are doing a truly great thing by quitting smoking. I cannot give you advice on Chantix as I did not quit that way but there are a number of people here on this site who did quit successfully with Chantix. I am sure they can give you much better insight about it. Regardless, you are doing a great thing in quitting, regardless of method.
This is definitely a safe place to vent. Feel free to post about anything you are struggling with. Post all you want. We have all gone through what you are experiencing and yes, quitting is very doable.....and it is worth the early struggles. Post away, we will respond.
Like you, I had multiple attempts at quit smoking. I also felt that I really enjoyed smoking. I'm not going to argue or suggest that you don't enjoy it (everyone is different) but, with time in my quit, smoking did lose a lot of its appeal and now I find it disgusting. I have heard many others go through the same thing where they felt they loved smoking and grew to hate it as their quit progressed.
You are doing a great thing in quitting.