PorkandPancakes

Blatant bragging I'm afraid but I'm feeling very pleased with myself. Went out last night to a Halloween party. I have to admit that little voice has been really working hard in my head leading up to the event "You could definitely have just one" "most non-smokers have one with alcohol" "It wouldn't interfere with your quit" And I've been working at shutting down the voice. Re-reading posts on the boards, remembering all the reasons I've quit and it is strange because these have all been thoughts but none have been a 'craving'. Anyway, I went to the party and so the night progressed. I stayed inside while some were outside. I partied, I laughed, I drank, I watched the smokers, I stood outside next to them as I got a little merrier but not once was I tempted to ask anyone for a smoke and not once did I do anything against my quit. I did not smoke. I made it through a night out. It didn't hurt. My night was still amazing. And I can breathe this morning!!! I love my smoke free life. Happy sunday everyone! Xx

Evelyn, thank you for your sweet words. Bakon doesn't bother me. I can see he's a little rough round the edges but I'm sure he's a soft teddy bear on the inside ;-). Besides, I don't need him to be nice cos I have the rest of you lovely lot doing that. Bakon reminds me of the kid that punches your arm in the playground cos he forgot how to use his manners. <pokes tongue out at Bakon> :-)

That's funny Bakon cos I don't like much for you... ;-)

Away

In water Without using an 'S', what keeps your feet warm?

Doreen, thank you for this. Just read it to my other half who has quit with me and he asked me to send it to him so he can print out the words and keep them with him. He doesn't use the forums. He doesn't use NRT. He's doing this on willpower alone so I'm really pleased when I can help him in anyway. You should be too! You're all cracking out the inspirational posts today! Thank you for taking the time. X

I have to say Marti, your thoughts, your posts, your advice really seems to align with my train of thinking. So thank you for sharing. They have been helpful and insightful posts which I'm storing for those trigger moments. 10 days today and the signs are good. I have plenty of daily triggers but my EA is learning and I'll keep rewriting memos. Xx

I adore this post. Thank you Marti for bumping it for me. There's not much more to say - it just makes total sense. And now I'll chuckle with cravings as I picture my EA frowning at my new schedule.

See now Bakon, why you gotta be a dick too? I'm a chick but I'm keeping pork cos I like the name. You told me to change it so I did. And thanks for not adding to the advice above. 9 days and counting. ;-)

Pis dinky?! Wth? Lol, that should be 'possibly'

Hi all. Thanks for your responses. I probably didn't explain myself very clearly. I don't have a lock box with an 'emergency' stash. On the day I decided to quit, I didn't know I was quitting until I listened to the audio (on the app that I'm not pushing ;-) ) and at the end of listening he says, so now decide to quit which I did. At a loss with what to do next, I grabbed a Tupperware tub and started collecting lighters, papers, filters and tobacco from all round the house and all my bags. I stuck everything in the box and put the box up high and crucially, that's where it stayed. I haven't been plagued by it. I haven't found myself looking at it or opening it. I guess I kept it at first because I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't quite bring myself to throw it. Part of the philosophy behind the quitting app is that you CAN smoke whenever you want. I CHOOSE not to smoke. I literally could not quit using willpower alone if I had that internal battle going on where I want to smoke and still romanticise them. I am able to shut down any of those thoughts by accepting the disgusting truth about them and saying, I can smoke. I choose not to. Which is why having it around doesn't bother me and is pis dinky a good thing. Because I know I can if I want to. However, obviously drinking wasn't a great idea. Interestingly though, I never rolled a cigarette. I never even opened the packet. I took the lid off the box. Then I shut it again and put the box away. Still, I tha you all for your words of advice, support and encouragement. It's good to hear I'll break down the associations over time. And it's time to exercise caution with drinking!

I knew it would be danger zone but I just so hate that I can't control my own behaviour?! I mean, what's up with that?! Runfree: even though I'm terrible at apologising, that is the first thing I did this morning. Several times. I actually feel awful for behaving that way. Stupid alcohol. Stupid smoking. (Smaller font: stupid hangover!) :-)

Yup. No drinking. But does it ever get easier? Does it ever become 'normal' not to smoke? Will I ever be able to enjoy a night out without thinking of smoking? How long does it take to get there?!?!

So, I went out with the other half last night as new non smokers. We had a wonderful time and all was going well except with every drink the urge to smoke got stronger and the strength to ignore it got weaker. By the time I got home, fairly drunk to be honest, I was ready for full blown tantrum. I created an argument with my poor unsuspecting man just to give me an excuse to reach for the tobacco that I still have locked away in a box. Then I had an even bigger tantrum because I couldn't smoke it, stomped around , kicked a couple of things and stomped off to bed. I was a total dickhead. Or window licker as Bacon might say. But I didn't smoke. I was an arsehole though and I feel terrible this morning. And hungover!

TEW. I realise I'm very very new here but I just want to offer what I can from a newbie's perspective. I WANT TO BE YOU! I've done 8 days. I don't know how 'not' to smoke yet. Every time I move from place to place, I think I need a smoke. Every day I wake up and my first thought is smoking. My lungs still hurt. I wheeze when I breathe. There are old wet cigarette butts in a stinky collection pot outside the back door. There are yellow stains still on my fingers and there's tobacco bits in the bottom of every single handbag I own. You don't want these things. You don't want to smoke. You don't need to smoke. You miss something that isn't even there. It's just a memory. I swear to you that first puff would taste disgusting. I Swear to you that I would give anything to be a whole year quit. Smoking won't help you lose ten lbs. you'd just risk gaining another ten on your next quit! I wish I knew you well enough to say something more helpful but please know, I'm in awe of your year. I long for a year. Don't smoke. X

Lol, pancakes don't have to be sweet though. This side of the pond you can get em with cheese and ham and other savoury fillings. Sometimes they call em crepes and they're served the size of dinner plates and very thin. Not like the thick sweet ones served in the US. Both are good. Day 7 nearly down. I'm not sure why I'm counting, what's the ultimate goal? It takes a long time to count to forever! Perhaps I should set a reward up for certain milestones?

Thanks weird mutant duck bee. It's nice to be on the winning side. TEW: I know, I'm suitably cautious. I'm hoping knowledge is power and reading up as much as I can. But, I know it's coming and 'shit gonna get real'. I suspect for me it will be days or weeks or heaven forbid months down the line. I'll get overconfident or start thinking 'I'm cured'. Anyway, im ever alert but for now, I never ever ever ever thought I would even get this far. Genuinely. Last Sunday I had no plans on quitting other than the vague 'I'll quit at some point'. I Think that might be why I managed it. It's like I got slapped and concussed and by the time I realised what happened, it was done already! So, happy porky pancake peeps. X

So somewhere around 9.30 this morning, I will have officially made it 1 week as a non-smoker. It's so very hard to believe. Reflecting over the week I can say it's been so much easier than I thought and so much harder too. Some thoughts.... 1) who knew it could be as simple as 'don't smoke?' 2) insomnia....did not expect that 3) nicotine really only stays in your body 3 days 4) quitting is 5% physical, 95% mental 5) I'm stronger than I thought 6) why oh why did I wait so bloody long???!! 7) I cried a few tears on the first 2 nights. I don't even know why. I was suddenly overcome with emotion. I guess my body was overcome with experiencing its first days without nicotine since I was eleven 8) I've realised my brain has never freely experienced happy hormones/reactions and has been chained by nicotine all of my adult life 9) I'm free 10) I love it Happy Monday to everybody.

Aw thanks guys, it's nice to have support. Just awake and up, ready for another night shift. This time equipped with better ideas. Breathe, mindful, gum at the ready. Interestingly, I still have that tight chest/throat from years of smoking which serves well to put me off also. I think to myself, 6 days later has made no change to this. Why on earth would k make it even worse? I do find 'the quit' is literally the first thing on my mind from the second I wake up. Not necessarily a craving, just 'oh, I dont smoke, that's weird' Anyway, I'm off to eat some 'breakfast' at tea time. It's all so confusing, especially as lots of you are across the pond in different time zones! Ava - that's a hilarious name! Whatever made you come up with that? Marti - some lovely advice, thank you Joe - you old flirt, you! I kinda liked the name too but it did seem a little pretentious at second glance. I liked the pun on 'non' smoking but I never have been 'smokinghot'! And Bakon - I didn't ask either!! ;-)

This may be posted in the wrong place. Sorry Admin. I should probably have put it in the social area? Sorry again

So Bakin suggested I may like to try on a name without 'smoke' in the title. He nudged me in the direction of breakfast items. I haven't slept all night. This is the best I could come up with!!!! :-)

Ok. As you advise.

Actually, it's officially a grown up cape now. I forgot.

I do. A junior Cape but a cape nonetheless.

In fact I guess we are in the same line of work