PorkandPancakes

Oooh, and a ticker too!? I'm on fire today!!!

It's a cake I made for my daughters birthday. Matches the wall mural I painted in her bedroom

It's the best I can do

Ok, it's been hard work but I think I managed to upload a pic onto my profile. I only have a phone or iPad to log on with and all my stored images were way too big. I had to download an app for shrinking images, shrink a pic, attach it to the profile then I couldn't crop it properly because it doesn't work on my phone so it chopped off the top of the image. But, I think it might have worked(ish). This is a test post!

I am hungover but I remain a non-smoker I am lucky I am peaceful I am going back to sleep now!

I can't speak for the Sarge but from my own quit, I can only say almost all of the battle seems to be in our minds. My quit has not been that hard and I guess 'easy peasy' compared to the stories I've heard and read about in forums. And that is wholly down to my attitude towards smoking having been changed. However, I recognise that isn't the case for everyone. I haven't been around long but I've been reading lots of posts all over the forums and you can see people skid into the forum on their knees screaming about every hour achieved and you can almost predict they will screech back out to smoking again and you wish you could make them see they are perpetuating their own myth. If I could get them to see they make it hard for themselves by having that internal fight and romancing the cig. Just calm down. Take a breath. Open your eyes. They're the ones that even when successfully quit, still say 'I could still smoke a cigarette now' and 'I loved smoking'. I just think they've tortured themselves unnecessarily. It's easier than that. But not for everyone, I guess.

A real eye opener. Good post Bakon. Sorry for your family's loss. Thank you for sharing. It makes me so grateful that I found this quit in me when I did.

Cookie is still here. There's a post in 'Introductions'. Yey for more quitters.

It's all true. I know I have to move past the regret and anger but it us so very frustrating. It's funny because, other than drinking too much in the first week, I haven't struggled once with a strong 'crave'. I don't get them. I get 'thoughts' which I shut down pretty quick. Ice spoken before about my methods. I know this is my sticky quit. There is no other choice....... So why, if I'm really honest, do I still hear the nicodemon? Why do I hear, very faintly, 'quitting is so easy, you could be a 'social' smoker'. I know I can't but more importantly, I don't want that. I don't want to smoke. But those voices, buried deep within my mind..... I don't listen and I'm ignoring but it's a vulnerability, isn't it? Why isn't it gone yet? When does it stop (please tell me it's not 25 years later like my mother who still say 'ooh, I still miss a good cigarette' which we all know doesn't exist)

Oh Cookie, that's fantastic news. So so pleased for you. I haven't read Allen Carr but I've quit using similar methods of education and it's amazing what a change of attitude can do for your quit. Wishing you support and a smooth quit. :-)

I've been reading old posts. Perusing the Quit Train's library of past quitters. Some stay, some float in then float straight out again. Some seem to have battled and won (Evelyn, my utmost respect to the struggles and perseverance you have shown, your quit seems so very well earned) and some seem to battle then lose. And it got me to thinking about my own Quit. So unexpected and unplanned. Like so many others, I would wish I was quitting every time I laid down before sleep. I would chastise myself for smoking. I would promise I was going to cut down. Uggh. All the lies. And now, I can't shake the anger at myself. The tobacco companies. The people that perpetuate the myth 'quitting is soooo HARD'. They should stop doing adverts showing the damage tobacco causes and change tack. Quit smoking adverts with the slogan 'quitting is easy' and 'never take another puff'. Why aren't these approaches in the mainstream?! Why did I have to 'discover' this secret? Why don't I know that quitting doesn't have to be hard?! I just despair at the loss of lives, years, time, health, money, happiness, self-esteem.... If a group of people killed as many as cigarettes did then we'd be enraged. We'd fight back. Instead, we accommodate it. Sorry for the rant. I think quitting is like a break up. You go through stages of grief. I've done 'sadness/missing it', hoping to leave anger behind shortly and head into 'moving on' In the meantime just 'RARRRRRR' at the tobacco industry and mainstream beliefs that made it so much easier for me to hide behind for too long.

That's time for a cigarette afterwards Nancy! (Hoping this particular joke works across the seas also)

Aw, as usual it's great hearing all your answers. It really is comforting knowing there is somewhere I can go and tell random smoking tales knowing people will understand!

Well I woke up today not only convinced I'd smoked a cigarette, but instead convinced I had smoked MANY cigarettes and resumed full time smoking! It always happens the same way in my dreams. I'm involved doing something and I roll and smoke a cigarette before I even realise I'm doing it. By the time I've smoked half of it, I realise what I'm doing and I'm enjoying it so much, I carry on. Then I keep doing it. It's not even fair! Where's the horrible taste? Where's the coughing? Where's the head spin and nausea? Where's the dry cotton wool in mouth feeling? I want to scream at my subconscious, "IF YOU WILL INSIST ON SMOKING DREAMS, GET IT RIGHT!!!!" Lol. So at least it's stupid dreams and not real. How's everybody else's Monday?

Hey Cookie. I'm a newbie. I quit 4 weeks (and 2 days) ago. Best thing I ever ever did. I was like you. So afraid I couldn't do it. So convinced I couldn't do it. I admit to using an app which totally changed my outlook on smoking but having come here I realise the app does the same as Allan CARR's book and the same as these forums. However you do it, just grasp that smoking is not your friend. Read, read, read as others have said and post post post. There's so much I want to share with you that I have learned already but I won't overload too quickly. I'm so sorry you've lost your mum and for all you've been through. Make yourself proud. X

This! That has always been the scariest monumental thought!! Never!? Never ever ever!?! Lol, 1 day at a time is good for me.

Doreen's right. I'm a newbie and this place has been super welcoming and super supportive. Please do come and say hi. I'd love to meet some new blood (no offence oldies but it's nice when others are feeling your pain stil instead of helping from the top deck!!)

Aw thanks guys. Perhaps I'll have to go for a third and final name change to 'hot cakes' lol. I only picked porkandpancakes because of Bakon. I am feeling proud of myself. I never ever would have believed that I could quit for a month. Let alone be feeling so good about it! And ps. I've been meandering around the internet a little and all I want to say is this... This little quit train is a lovely welcoming place. It is a shame you don't get a few more newbies posting as it puts pressure on the oldies to keep up the posts and stuff but yeah, this ol place is pretty cool.

So today is 1 month quit. I'm super happy about this! Is it ok if I celebrate it here??!

It's been an odd day today. I maintain, the Jason Vale app (Allan Carr style method) really did take away the 'crave' as defined by yearning and inner turmoil and pain that I've felt even at the thought of quitting in the past. It cannot take away the memories and thoughts though. Today, smoking has come repeatedly to the forefront of my mind. Examining H.A.L.T (hunger, anger, lonely (bored), tired) I would have to say lonely/boredom. I have been busy because I've been cooking batches of food these last couple of days to portion up and freeze for work. I think in the past, I would break up kitchen days with cig breaks. But it really has come to mind a lot today. I bat them away again with relative ease but I admit to being a little irritated that they keep coming back. I mean, I don't want one. I am no closer to smoking than normal. I don't entertain the thought of smoking. I won't even allow myself to imagine the 'ahhh' monent. Because I know it isn't real. The 'ahhh' moment can only exist when you are already addicted. The 'ahhh' is the banishment of withdrawal symptoms for 20 minutes. I'm not in withdrawal. Anyway, I digress (I do so love retelling the things I learnt from the quit smoking app and from here!). The point I attempt to make is that even though I don't entertain the thoughts, I don't dwell, today has still seen me getting lots of 'thoughts'. Which unsettles me a little as lately I've almost forgotten about it. I like not revolving my day around quitting and just getting on with life. I don't like thoughts of smoking. I'm so over that already (can someone please tell my junkie brain that!!?)

I don't NOPE. It's not that I feel strongly against it. I just haven't done it. But I see the old timers still NOPE and just wondered what it does for you? Do you think posting that word on the Internet every day makes a difference? What if you don't NOPE? What does it mean to you? Do you do it everyday?

Today I went in a shop I used to buy tobacco from. I haven't been in there since I quit. My EA sent me a 'don't forget to buy tobacco' memo as soon as I turned toward the counter. I smiled indulgently and marvelled at how true it is that we must face every routine before we're clear. The brain truly is a marvellous thing. Tonight, I'm wearing fluffy white slipper socks. What's so special about that you say? Well, it's raining outside and these fluffy lined thick slipper socks do not fit in any of my shoes. And I'm not facing the dilemma of a) hang out door to smoke whilst letting heat out of home and get shouted at by dear partner b) take off slippers and put on shoes each time I want to smoke c) tip toe the few steps until under shelter to smoke hoping I don't get slipper socks wet or dirty. So I've been wearing them a while and they're still dry and clean. And now I'm going to bed to read a good book. And I can actually stay in bed until I go to sleep. Because I don't need 'a last smoke'. I love not smoking. Xx

It occurs to me that I have not passed an exit nor an entrance without considering smoking for all of my adult life. When I leave a building, I light a cigarette. Before I enter a building, I light a cigarette. Nearly a month into my quit and the echo runs deep. I see a shadow of me stood at every exit or entrance as I pass through them now. Me stood smoking at the door. It's strange how deep the memory can run yet how simple it is to ignore. I open the door. I step outside. I think, 'I would smoke now'. I acknowledge the memory. I just keep walking. The memory passes. I keep walking. And that's it really. Smoking is a constant series of stops. I just don't stop there now. I just keep walking. Simples.

24days. It doesn't sound much does it? But something's happening. I forgot to remember to forget about smoking. In other words, when I woke up today, I was normal. My first thought wasn't "I need to remember something, oh yeah, I quit smoking". My first thought this morning....well actually it was obviously insignificant because I don't remember it but my second or maybe even third was "I didn't think about smoking". Then as I'm going through the days, I'm not thinking about smoking. It hasn't gone completely. It still crosses my mind. it just doesn't stick around long. Sometimes, I get stressed out and it sticks slightly longer. The other day, I announced I was getting frustrated so I was going outside for some breaths. And I did. And it was nice. And I didn't want a cigarette. So, nearly four weeks and I don't want to smoke. I have less than 5 thoughts of smoking a day. I'm settling into this non smoking stuff. Tonight I left the room and my boss said 'are you going for a cig?' I shouted back as I kept walking 'No, cos I don't smoke'. And I smiled. And I think he laughed too.

Thanks guys. Your support is lovely and appreciated. I am pleased to report that when I woke up this morning, smoking wasn't my first thought. It was my second. This is definitely progress!! I still can't shake that 'flat' feeling but I acknowledge I totally had these moods before O quit. I suspect I'm 'grieving' the absence of smoking though I'm not craving them and remain as solid in my quit as I have always been. This too shall pass I'm sure as I get used to living life without it. It's amazing just how few times I get those 'ooh, I should smoke now' thoughts considering I'm only 3 weeks quit. It's a 'bang head against wall' moment realising this thing that I absolutely can't live without and I cried harder when the goldfish died! Anyhow, karate tonight......hi....yah!! (Makes chopping motions with hands)