So pleased to see you get right back on Karen! You really have got this. As ever the Sgt is controversial but his advice always rings true for me. It really is just you making those choices and I believe eventually every quitter gets there, to that conclusion. Eventually to really conquer smoking, to be free, we let go. We stop fighting and screaming and struggling against ourselves and realise we were doing that to ourselves.
However, from being here and watching others tell their tale I realise that everybody gets there in their own time. I've seen Evelyn who battled with so much more than just nicotine yet continues demonstrating such strength and bravery and Doreen who literally left it to the last second. Then there's easier quits with Boo who seems to have just 'got it' so quickly. We all have our tales to tell and own experiences but the one thing which appears to be consistent with us all is 'Never take another puff'. Just today, right now, you don't smoke. The rest will follow.
So sit down, get comfy and enjoy the ride. If you can embrace it, relax and tell yourself there is no fight - You just choose not to smoke, I promise it will be easier on yourself. If you want to throw a tantrum, stamp your feet and cry in the shower, I am assured this can also be an effective quitting method.
My final word, NRT is used by so many but again, it only takes 3 days to get rid of the nicotine and nicotine withdrawal itself doesn't hurt. At all. It feels a bit icky and you feel a little 'uncomfortable'. But you have felt exactly the same every 20 minutes for the whole of your smoking career, every time the last cig wears off. So, my penny's worth is quit the nicotine now while you have the strength and motivation. The victory is all in your mind anyway.
Well done for getting back on. You got this.