Susana

(didn´t you quit on the 21st? :blink: ) Lots to celebrate.... :good:

Holy Molly and I was wondering where you were... that close to your 7th monthlyversary!!! :( I´m sure you wonder what the outcome would have been had you not been smoke-free these 7 months. All the best to you and Aine (just realised Aine is your other half!).

I´ts N.O.P.E from me :)

Praying for your family, Sharon. He is a fighter and in the best place indeed.

This morning I saw this guy with the largest, most humongous vaper anybody has ever carried hanging from his neck. I thought it was some sort of telescope or something, until he put it in his mouth and vaped away. Maybe it is a new fashion for the male vaper.... you know... what I mean... :unsure: Not a travel-size vaper anyway.

that is exactly what prompted my "jesus christ what´s wrong with me"... I think what is wrong with me is called "addiction". I´m an addict and I will always be an addict. And no education, no Allen Carr, no NOPE and no nothing is going to prevent those awkward junkie thoughts popping up here and there. They will happen. When people do relapse after years and years it must be because a junkie thought suddenly popped up, out of the blue, and caught them unawares... why if not? We can´t prevent them. We can only live our non-smoking lives and FIGHT them when they do pop up. Poop up, rather, the ba**ards... :diablo:

Ohhhh...sweetie.... Noooo..... I meant I had friends over from Madrid and now they are gone until next year, and I miss them already. My "troubled" friends are also good friends who have really bad problems and are reliant on me. I am happy to try and help but it does take a toll...

At last! I love my keyboard!!!! Nice and big and clickety-clickie, not that stupid phone of mine. Thank you for all your sympathetic words, specially pungent those from Jackie. Jackie, if I´m still here posting and non-smoking is in a very good part thanks to you being here posting and non-smoking. If you hadn´t come back to tell your story probably both of us would be by now in a worse place. Yay you! :) I wasn´t drunk. I´m driving now and to leave the urbanisation you need to go through "check point Carlos" and the chances of being breathalised going in or out at any time are rather high (at an average of 1,500€ per fine, this is their particular Summer bonanza). Even with a hungover you can test positive with these breathalisers, you know... maybe just "traces" but whilst carrying my "L" I can´t afford even traces. So I have reduced my drinking massively. Maybe I should drive less and drink more. I´m more fun when I´m drunk. And driving amongst all the idiots of Europe at their highest level of stupidity is definitely not fun. I hope you don´t think that I´m posting SOS to get attention because it is not the case. I´m probably posting now all those SOS that I should have posted previously instead of disappearing and... well, we all know the story. That story was definitely not fun, and it is not even interesting to read, it just goes on and on with the same ending after every single chapter. Booooooring. Let´s see if I manage to change the ending this time. Happy ending for once. Fortunately here. Thanks to the administrator and the moderators here we don´t have any controversial threads or heated stressful debates which solve nothing and only help put people on edge. It is me who has lashed out at least once (sorry) and have stopped myself just a micro-second before pressing "send" in many occasions. I don´t want to be the one breaking the peace here. That´s what I meant. In my current diabolical mood... I hope it will not happen. Or I´ll stick to the appropriate "venting" thread depending on the amount of swearing likely to come out of my fingers. Thanks particularly to those who have expressed their personal concern by PM. Please be assured there is nothing seriously wrong with me. I´m just going through a difficult period generally: midlife crisis + weigh gain + lots of work - holidays - money + problem friends - nice friends + 40 Celsius + noisy neighbours - energy - desire to get up in the morning + millions of tourists that don´t know where they are going + new Laws passed in the middle of August = a very frustrated, angry and diabolically moody Susana :girl_cray2: . At least all this opening up, which I´m not usually comfortable with, makes me not inclined in the slightest to throw away this quit. No way. If I have to SOS every week, so be it. Just ignore me. Sometimes just gathering the courage to admit you are in trouble and vocalise it, or rather, type it, even in a teensy weensy phone keyboard, may make a difference. :give_heart2: Love you all.

Just to let you know. I'm still smoke-free. Still in a mood from hell but that I will have to sort out separately. Thank you.

Not One Puff today Susana This is not s pledge, it's a f... order.

Dont know. I may take a holiday from posting. I can see why im a danger to people's quits. I have kept away from controversy and discussion but still. Im a dofficult petson. I know that.

I got this gum on Friday... maybe its the gum... messing with my head...

No wine. Im in bed. Locked in so that i cantsmell the neighboues smoking

As if my junkie mind was strpnger than my thinking mind. Its an awful feeling. After a few days I just think "sod it". I'm at the 'after a few dayd' point. And I dont mind admitting tjat because it may help others that recognise it too... the 'previous'

It is anything but funny. I feel awful but i woilf feel awful not posting and just dissppearing...

I havw gum. But its not helping. It's not physical. Its my junkie mind playing games. Ive already ruined two 6week quits. There

Odd sense of humour...

Im not cdrunk. Its thid tiny phone with its tiny keyboard. I have a samsung mini.

I just geel so inconfortable talking about this. Again.

Gorgeous!!!!!. Sorry Igot distracted...

Does anybody know steve carell? He is in an interview in spanish telly... hes definitelly american and must be famoud, i can't google him because im here... whos that guy?

I finished work late. Had one glass of wine with my friends. Wasntcomfy sp came home and had lovely healthy dinner. And all i can think of is... you know. I'm chewing. Its not physical it's something in my head

Its been brewing for a few days. Icant do anything tonight because im in my pyjamas and im not going anywhere but thats not good enough for me. Why oh why!!!!!!! :-(

Im on phone, which doesnt help. :-(