Susana

Please stop it guys.... every time I come across this thread it reminds me of this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QBjj_Czs0A and that particular episode of "My strange addiction" still brings shivers down my spine whilst awake and disturbing dreams when I sleep...

...the ticker is moving rather fast... 11 days already???? Hmmm.... which include: - two weekends - one stay of smoking friends in my house - three heavy-drinking sessions - three afternoons at the Beach Club - one driving exam - one court hearing - one big shopping at the supermarket - two dinners with ex to finalise divorce terms - one quarterlies (tax) - one argument with neighbours at 3am because they were being drunk and loud and I had to work in the morning - one BlackBerry broken with all my contacts, pics etc. in it - one new phone which I can hardly understand - several cockroach infestations in home and in office - the realisation that I have put all my weight back and I have to start from scratch - the realisation that any results will not be visible until way after my August holidays And only one SOS???? I´m doing freaking great!!!!! :dance3:

Country All work no fun, or all fun no money? OK, edited: maple syrup or golden syrup? (I hope it wasn´t my "country" answer that left you all speechless all day? :pardon: )

Jeeeez! I can´t keep up with so many celebrations!!!! What have you all been up to whilst I was away!!!! Tracey, congratulations on 8 fabulous months!

Sorry.... Edited... 109 (I don´t want to hotlink) (how do you not hotlink?) :girl_cray2:

You are kidding, aren´t you! :sarcastic_hand: :laugh4: :laugh1: Mondays suck. :gagging-928: Bakon´s black truck or my red Fiesta?

Well done Comrade! :good:

Ahaha! you got stuck there... ;) ocho

Sounds to me like another "LOST". I won´t fall for it again. If it doesn´t make sense from the start, it will probably never make sense.

Drinks are free and the password is... N.O.P.E. It´s a non-smoking party!!!!

Siete

Cuatro

Wow! I'm impressed!

No, they don´t. Triggers are great. I was a compulsive smoker. I would light up first thing in the morning and smoke one after another through the day. When I quit I had no triggers. Waking up called for a cigarette, going downstairs called for a cigarette, putting the kettle on called for a cigarette, make up = cigarette, leave the house = cigarettte, open the front gate = cigarette, walk down main road = cigarette, walk up side road= cigarette, arrive in office = cigarette... you get an idea of what my life was as a smoker? I never had any triggers. My life was a 24 hour non-stop trigger. If you have... let´s call them "identifiable" or "separate" triggers, you are in a much better position. - You can identify them - You can separate them - You can foresee them - You can avoid them - If you can´t avoid them, you can organise your quit around them - You can beat them. One after another after another. Bang, bang, bang! You are already onto a winner here. Doing great! Keep it up! :-)

I´m calmer now. Kittens and kitty miaows do have a calming effect on me :tender: . Oh, well... Let me see if I can come up with the visual: when I´m starting to really consider going to the shop, I start...like... unwillingly, visualising myself actually getting up, opening the front door and walking down to the shop. My heart starts racing. I start feeling a sort of... the word is "anticipation", really. I can´t think of any similar experience because there is nothing so awful that can compare with it. Then I can see, as in "see" with my eyes, this disgusting smelly monster growing next to me, happy, rubbing its hands, eyes bulging, salivating in anticipation (yep, same word again). And then the fight starts. I want to please myself, but I do not want to please the monster. I want to f**k that monster. The monster would be celebrating, mega-happy, laughing (wroahahahaha) at me, blowing raspberries at me and farting in my face as soon as I light that one cigarette. And I don´t want to give him that satisfaction. So I stop where I am, paralised and confused. After a while the feeling will go. But the monster is there waiting for the next chance. And so I hope. So I hope because the fact that I can "see" the repulsiveness of the addiction I´m less likely to actually fall for it. But believe me when these episodes happen they are not pleasant in the slightest. I can talk about it now it is over, but in the middle of it I am a wreck. I´m blinded. I can´t even think straight. If I´m weak... bang! Quit ruined. Told you there would be nonsense... and yes, I have a very vivid imagination... mind games...

Ooops, sorry. I think I´ve chosen the wrong word... I wouldn´t expect you to carry me around like a sack of potatoes hahahahahaha! or to be talking to me for hours on end. Poor y´all! Noooo... I meant something like "please ignore my posting a lot of nonsense just to keep my mind occupied". I´ll try and stick to the cats thread and the numbers thread...hmm... I´m sure there are some new games still to be started down there in the "social" area...

The cats thread will be a few pages longer by the time I go to bed... :girl_wacko: I´ll be here all day, Tiffany. I can´t leave the board(s). No way. If I lose sight of you guys now, I´m doomed. So please bear with me...

Oh, I´m so glad this is on Youtube now so that I can copy it here :P

Thanks, guys. I am not going to smoke today. But I´m not going to ditch the gum today either. Not today. I am in no state of mind to decide anything today, so I will just decide nothing. If I´m going to ditch my quit, I can do it tomorrow. I´ll see how I feel tomorrow. But not today. (That is as good as I can come up with. I really am losing it big time)

This has to be my worst quit ever. I´m not progressing at all. Day 10 and it could be day 1 or day minus 1 or f***ing my a*s day. I had friends in the house all weekend. Smoking friends. We had a fantastic time. I didn´t smoke but had cravings from hell, so I´ve been chewing nicotine until it is coming out of my ears. Yesterday after lunch it was so bad that I sent them to the bar to have their after-meal drinks there whilst I did the dishes, put some order and finally went to bed because I was this close---> * to losing it and joining them and buying a pack. I woke up feeling a bit calmer, until today. I´m again thinking that if this state of craving lasts any longer I´m caving in. I am mega-busy at work but can´t concentrate on anything, I just want to dig a hole and bury myself in it. I don´t feel I´ve quit because I´m probably putting more nicotine in my system now via gum than I did when I was smoking. I´m dreading the "proper" detox when I ditch the gum. If this is how I´m feeling now with nicotine coming out of my ears, what on earth is going to happen when I stop feeding the addiction? I don´t like the smell of fresh smoke. The thought of having hot smelly smoke coming into my throat, esophagus and lungs makes me gag. But the thought of stopping this constant craving is just too overwhelming. I´m tempted to ditch this cursed quit, and start afresh and cold turkey later on. If it gets too bad I´ll change the title to SOS.

Hi Gabby and everybody! Still here too N.O.P.E.

I'm happy to join you. I will not smoke today. NOPE.

Another one. - "My friends are smoking with their morning coffee/after a meal/with their wine/leisurely away, and I don´t feel part of the group because I´m not smoking"... BULL! Remember so many times YOU were the ONLY person in the group that smoked and fell completely inadequate, trying to fan your smoke away from their faces, or worse, having to leave the group to go outside every now and then, and feeling like a smelly idiot? Besides, when your smoking friends say things like "you are doing so good, I wish I COULD quit too"... who is feeling inadequate now?