Hyacinth56

Hello Everyone- I was on this board a little over 3 years ago and I'm happy to say that my 3 year anniversary is coming up in November. I used to read and post here everyday and then all of a sudden one day, the board was gone. I'm not sure why I didn't get any notification. I think I may have stopped logging in and was just reading so maybe that's why I missed it, I'm not sure. Well - as it turns out I had a user name here after all and I was able to retrieve it and log on today. I'm here to say "thank you" to all the veterans here and to pay it forward to all the new quitters too. I'm doing really well but I will occasionally google "quit smoking..." and today I stumbled across this site, I seem to remember it was "Quit Smoking Message Board". I do recognize some of the names and I'd like to say that I'm so grateful for everyone's help on my journey. Without you and everyone else on this board at that time, I don't think I would have been successful. For all you new quitters out there, the difference in this quit from all the others (after 40+ years of smoking and trying to quit several times) is that for the first time I followed the instructions here. I read every day, sometimes ALL day and when I needed help, I asked for it. I listened to the advice. When I wanted to smoke, I posted and waited it out. Each and every time someone helped me and I got through it. Little by little the days added up, the craves became less and less. Several weeks later I experienced my first morning where i woke up and realized that 30 seconds had elapsed and I hadn't thought about smoking! That's when I knew I could make it LOL I didn't even WANT to quit, you don't have to want to - you just have to do it. But I was so fed up with myself, I hated that I was smoking. I'd lay in bed at night and promise myself i wouldn't smoke the next day - but you all know the end to that story - tomorrow, tomorrow adds up to years. I was determined to stop but I wasn't happy about it. I was angry about it. But I knew I was slowly poisoning myself. I can't imagine myself as a smoker again. Of course I have thoughts now and then and I know I "can" smoke if I want to but I don't want to smoke! I used to envy smokers but now when I look at them, I feel........nothing. Indifference, no desire at all. I hope that some day they obtain this same freedom that I know they want. I come from a family of smokers. My father quit a 35 year - 3 pack a day addiction (unfiltered camels) a long time ago but my mother and 3 siblings smoked until recently. Unfortunately, my 2 sons took up the addiction too. My husband quit many many years ago. Sadly, 1 brother is now being treated for throat cancer and my 83 year old mother was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. They each have quit, but my 3 other siblings continue to smoke. Its very difficult not to say anything to them, but I don't. They know what they're doing, they are making their own choices. There is a silver lining to this awful news, as soon as my sons learned of these diagnoses, they each quit smoking. That makes me so happy! Three years of freedom and it feels wonderful. I know everyone says this, but its so true - if *I* can do this, you can do this!