Kendra

thanks for the acknowledgement and encouragement.

ahhh, yes, catittudes and personalities. fun stuff! We have 3 that walk a mile and a half with us through the forest every day. Maybe you could teach it to run in the rain with you. Just put it in the pouch of a hoodie sweat shirt and goooo! okay maybe not....

false. TPBM gets to enjoy the autumn fall colors tomorrow on actual trees.

I love rain. 2 pairs of puddle stomping boots. sop awesomr to run and play, then go inside and get cozy and warm...if the rain was cold. hope you enjoyed your run!!!!!

Hola Quit Train Peeps, Just wanted to say I am still out here and still smoke free. I have been exceedingly busy over the last few weeks. Have hit a few hard bumps and had come very very close to smoking a few times. Been in the space of f-it , yet still smoke free. not sure how or why....just grateful I haven't lit up. Sooooo MANY YEARS of addiction and a few months of freedom..... mind playing games with me. resisting posting here. grateful to get here and read the support offered to others hitting rough patchs. I can't change the choices I've made. I can choose consciously .... why doI sometimes want to choose to make things worse? How did I learn to treat myself so poorly? Why is it SOOOO ridiculously challenging to learn to love on mySelf? Thanks to all the people here who stand, speak, support,and share.

the quick and the dead in my pants.

Wow, Tracy..what would too gory look like for you? lol very squeamish watching for me!!! I highly recommend ... Firefly, if you haven't watched. only 1 season...kind of a space cowboy thing.... I have a thing for Mal....lead character I recall enjoying...The Riches ...again only 1 season ... gypsy bandit family.... been awhile since I watched it. I love Eddie Izzard doing anything. More recently.... Touch ... only a few seasons I think on this one, too. Keifer Suterhland is a single father of a young boy with incredible precognitive talents and challenges communicating in average people ways.... i only saw half of the first season and it has been on my wish list since then. ...i do not have regular tv or inet access, in case you wonder why the heck I can't watch stuff. :)

...sometimes. when I've been in chains...then experience freedom.... and people I care deeply about are impacted in ways that are...less than comfortable ...I have used their pain as a reason (excuse) ... to continue to harm mySelf.... and then wished desperately rthat I had done something else,....anything else.....other than feed the monster again.... TODAY I have over 2 months free from nicotine. B) I hope your rocky road finds marshmallows and you share the sundae with Alex.

Serenity in my pants The whole nine yards in my pants There's something about mary in my pants.

tired feet Why do small children have more energy at 10pm than the sun?

Welcome. Glad you are creating your new life...FREE from addiction to nicotine. I don't really think one way is better than another to quit....only that you find your way. Useful for me has been to be away from people who smoke for awhile and when I get tired. just quit.... breathe, again, again,..... post, again, again, again..... NOPE, again, again, again

Congratulations.... 3 years free. huge change and greeting life living dreams (only 4 in lower 48 to go~! which 4?). thank you, thank you, thank you for being you and showing up here. yeah, quit date hugely important... feels good to be remebered, in my opinion. You are remembered and your support thought of when away from this site. .... so much truth, heart, challenge and humour. :yahoo: :dance4: :sun_bespectacled: ...where's the window licker facicon?

Hey WT, Glad you're on this train. The encouragement has been invaluable for me as well. Glad you are celebrating the rebirth. ...breathe.... deeply...wow!! I actually CAN breathe deeply. :D

having repeatedly chosen freedom over the last week or so, ...., with extended plans to nope on into the future as the weather forecast for my life is unpredictable with chances of love and comfort. really love not smelling of smoke....car not smelling of smoke on hot days when you open the door and the pressure heated interior blasts out in your and any passengers opening the doors faces. ....clothes and hair smoke scent free..... ...nopeing through the twisted romancing of the smell of people actually smoking though.... what's up with that twisted nicomonster junkie way of being???? and I repeat.... today I love being free!!! my day & resources is/aren't not arranged around smoking....beautiful!!!!

NOPE

Congratulations Marti!!! 18 months is an inspiring accomplishment. I get smiley when I read that you are so excited to have extra money for family fun.... Hoping your celebration of life and being free are filling your world with laughter and fond times.

today I love being able to blow the dirt from the potting table into the pot. ast the end of my smoking blowingout a candle wasn't happening. think I'll go light one and try blowing it out. :)

...and most of all thank you to the people who wrote to support me in having faith? belief ? strength in myself. I cannot express how gratefulI am to not have been alone ... spent the last few days sleeping, eating and cleaning..... headed back to the sleeping now. gracias, thank you, merci

hullo folks, just wanted to touch base.... let everyone know I am still standing and smoke free.

havign a seat on this train and the passengers. Thank you all for being here.

Hello Folks, Thanks for all the kindnesses and belief in me. finding it hard to beleive in myself right now. it'll pass. got out of the negativity for a bit.....a short respite in the cinema. I do not smoke. Freedom is precious to me in many ways. Dealing, coping ,living with fear and hurt in positive healthy manners is what I am meant to do,learn and who/how i am at heart, right? Evelyn was just feeling similarly....it passes, right?..... sustained high intensity fear and hurt is draining on many levels. I choose to feel all my feelings...after many years of not making that choice.... they change....hurt still hurts but I learn to adapt to the empty spots left when spirit and love are gone. only way out is through..... have kitties, always ~ all ways some rel love....a bit aloof perhaps, but sincere and present.....trying to joke here... any way...tired. appreciate the words, support, kindnesses. no hill for a climber, right? i think i lost my climbing rope.... free climb? ha ha

Thank you both. for believing in me. short lived is feeling like a lOOOONg time ........ dealing with stress.....in calmer ways..... well, still learning there. & where fear around basic conditions comes into play....FEAR is still my go to response..... and I am learning..... will go to movie after work....breathe...and cry.... will check in here before leaving work if I can and later tonight when I get.....home...

...At...work. Falling. into ...pieces.... smoking won't help...I know that.... almost bought pack on way to work today. BIG things happening out of the blue.... am I looking for reasons to cut my feet out from under myself? wouldn't be the first time. don't know when I will get back to this board.... holding on for now..... NOPE, please,please, please, NOPE. I imagine when I get back here folks will have said kind things. PLease let me have the wherewithal to get back here. Things will change...smoking will only allow me to loathe myself and the life I am living.....

NOPE.... nope.... nope....

i love walking in the soft rain with my cats and smelling the forest smells... earthy, woody, wet ...