Ria

Well, with a name like "Gaga" what do you expect? :lol: :lol2: :music:

Bleeerk... what about those who don't do either of the triangles, Colleen? :wacko:

In deed!!!!

OMG!!!! -19

N.O.P.E!!!!!!!!!!!!! nope nope nope nope!!!!

"Ria, you're a wise and strong woman who lives in reality. You're a blessing here and I bet you never imagined that when you joined a quit smoking support group that you'd be able to share your valuable insight into such a serious topic. It's life-changing. Here's the link to the other article in the same thread." It's only because it's YOU that posted that, MQ, I feel 'honoured' by your comment... in fact I felt teary as I'm not used to compliments... well.. my sister is always telling me how wonderful I am, but SHE'S MY SISTER and sees me through 'rose coloured glasses'! lol! I think that's what I meant in the previous post about never fully 'recovering'... it's not only the 'partner',, but my POAF was the LEARNING I had to go forward in life with what normal/acceptable/familiar treatment was! When I met my 2nd (and consequently 3rd) husband, he was so 'familiar' that I was instantly drawn to him! and his hideous behaviour towards me... I try very hard NOT to 'ramble' and 'vent' in these posts, but to "get on with life" and see some "light" every day... in myself, my gorgeous cat, my view etc... but as for the "love"...? I think it's too late for me.. but that's OK! really!!! Life is what it is.... we can only do so much and I've done all I can....I'm confident in that! ;) Oh yes!! Also, MQ! I believe this DOES have bearing on the quit!!! VERY much so! accepting and knowing it's an illusion! NOT, as some other smart person here, (and I'm sorry, I've forgotten who) said, "to romance the cigi"!!!! As D130 said... 'they're AHs" LOL! and so are SMOKES!!! FALSE FRIENDS!

I'm not sure that's always the case, Tracey... my ex had a wonderful childhood, his brothers and sisters are not affected.. (from what I saw and experienced)... but who really knows? If they never admit they need 'help', thereby seeing a shrink, only the layperson can guess... Also, MQ... I'm not sure there is ever "total recovery" for the 'victors'! (prefer that to victim)... I'm away now... but OMG! what I lost, can NEVER be found or replaced/mended... EVER :( I'm also not sure if all children can be helped either... as, they have the most "magnetic" personalities and are SO easily 'liked'... it's almost as if they're in "training" and even confuse their parents!! By the time they're old enough for you to know there's something 'amiss', it's too late! They have their place in the world, with their own "sources".... I tell you what though.. it takes 1 to know 1... and they DON'T get on!

Well, I must be more of an 'idealist' than I initially thought, cos it took me YEARS after I 'escaped' of intense therapy to know this! I always thought "he couldn't help it"...Even NOW I find it painful to admit it was ALL a con!

Just confirms my previous 'explanation', D130!!! Lucky you! and yes... they are AHs! ;)

Awwwwwwwww thanks Joe!!! that was easy to understand :lol: -6

N.O.P.E!!!!!!!!!!!!! nope nope nope nope !!!!

You're welcome! ;) LOL.. yeah! thought you'd see the funny side to that one... sort of a pun, isn't it?

Call me dumb or dumber as you wish.. but try as I may, I cannot "get" this game... :unsure:

?? mmm... kind of, Bumble... it's the "denial" and false "loving relationship" maybe?? As for not having a 'meaningful personal relationship with one'... maybe it's because YOU are too strong to be 'roped in'... so have 'escaped' a frightful waste of life!! I believe only certain types are 'attracted' to these morons... (like myself) those desperately seeking recognition, acceptance, and even perhaps, being raised by one!?? Familiar behaviour and all that....no or low self-esteem and so on... It's not a simple black and white, right and wrong thing... it's what we've been raised to expect I think..?

Jenny!! I LURVE your cat pic!!! Donotwannasmoke! that's EXACTLY how I used to feel... had to 'hide' my smoking as they thought I'd quit YEARS ago!! LOL!! FREEE FREEE FREEE!!! yayyyy

?? isn't that a good thing, EB? I mean, it's only PG and VG (80/20) in my case... or does she have the nicotine included? Mine's only flavour and it's GORGEOUS!! SO much nicer than tobacco... I'm addicted to the aroma of the Lemon Meringue Pie! I also read that OP with a SAD memories.. not that I was THAT bad this time, but I'd still avoid gatherings that would take "too long" lol!! Not that I have this issue now... all family interstate, but I did!

Did you say "BEST friend"???? I hope you meant to type "I have faith in you".... I HAVE FAITH IN YOU, Dirty130!!!

Ha! had to 'edit' that, as posted "sweet thin"... LOLLLL not quite a pun, so what would we call that?

AWWWW... that's wubly! and I BOW down to you, sweet thing, for your courage, patience and perseverance!! :wub:

(((Petra))) yes! of course! even one's own CHILD can display narcissistic tendencies toward their parent!!! It's awful, as they are your "flesh and blood"... but still, we MUST distance ourselves, for our own peace of mind.. it's a "heads they win, tales we lose" situation, either way! My shrink told me years ago, there are probably THOUSANDS out there, but as a Narcissist, they DON'T talk to shrinks..(they believe they're superior) so their numbers are 'unknown'... even their "victims" aren't always free to leave/escape whatever! They are refined at making the world think they are the SANE party and we are 'crazy'! Anyway, not about to rant and vent here lol!! ... oooooh now my caps lock key is back to 'green light off' for lower case...?? what's causing that I wonder? MQ is courageous!! :wub: to post what he did!! xox

N.O.P.E!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!! grrrrr... just noticed my "caps lock" key has reversed itself!! so green light ON for lower case!??? How the heck does that happen????

Sadly, this is true! Some doctors are so anti smoking, they'll blame it on everything the smoker suffers!! Which is ludicrous! Of course smoking is bad for us!!! we all KNOW that!! and yet we still did it! the 'denial' thing is very strong... added to the fact that many NON smokers who will develop that kind of hernia! Just a tip from someone who has been a "heavy" smoker, then a 'lighter' smoker, or even a 'social' smoker.....we HATE it when anyone tells us "it's bad for you".. I think the 'trick' is to be supportive of him, "warts and all" if that makes sense... Have you ever smoked?

Having said all that, it may be an 'age' thing...? come to think of it! The older I get, the more "in tune" I am to my body... inside and out! IF that makes sense? My sister, HAS to weigh! ? I don't get it... then she feels 'disappointed' in herself if she hasn't "lost" or worse, "gained"..... We don't need scales to tell us how to FEEL... that's probably what I mean... I'll stop there, before I put my feet and hands in my mouth! :rolleyes:

ABSOLUTELY!!! someone ought to blow scales up!!! LOL! It's how we feel and how we see ourselves that's the most important thing!!! Reading numbers on a bright screen and allowing those numbers to dictate our emotions (good, bad, happy, sad) is a HUGE mistake! IMO! IMO! let's face it, our clothes will tell us in a day! it's not going to "creep" as some say... unless we wear tents of course!

N.O.P.E!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!!!!