Firstly, D130, try not to feel 'stupid' about ANYthing you're feeling/posting.. xox
Secondly, there's no such thing as "normal"... there's no normal marriage, there's no normal child, there's no normal anything IMO!!
It's either acceptable or not acceptable to you or the other person.....
SO... having said that.... smoking was a relationship!! We had a relationship with cigis.. for each of us, the relationship was different!
Some smoked 25 every other day... some only at weekends... some 100 each day...
For each of us, there was a strong 'bond' there... or else we wouldn't have done it for so long!
Sadly, we even mourn BAD relationships!!! It's true! it was part of us.. part of our regular routine.. it (often) RULED our lives in SO many ways... and now it's gone!!!
Of COURSE we're going to have days we miss it!!! We wouldn't be human if we didn't...
From my experience, the less we 'dwell' on the frustration of "loss" the better! Have a couple of days 'mourning' then that's it! It is what it is... we left them because they were TOXIC... make no mistake! and 'going back' would be ROOOLY stoopid! LOL!!!!
It will get better, hour by hour, day by day, week by week, and FILL the time wisely!!! ;) Strolling along an esplanade is SO therapeutic! Don't forget the earbuds with your favourite music blasting!!!!
12 DAYS!!! that's HUGE!!!!
oh, and you're in Oz!! :wub: