2 Years – 24 Months – 730 Days – 17,520 Hours – 1,051,200 Minutes – 63,072,000 Seconds.
On the day I quit, I expected to spend every single minute craving a cigarette.
Thirty years I was a smoker.
The first thing that I did each morning. Without fail. The last thing that I did each night. Without fail. After breakfast, lunch and dinner. Without fail. Have a coffee? Have a smoke. Without fail. Another beer? Another smoke. Without fail.
Did I crave?
Yes. and No.
My Addiction wanted nicotine. My Will wanted to quit.
During the first few months, and occasionally ever since, these two sparring partners have had conversations. Sometimes, out loud. (Usually scaring innocent bystanders!) Will always wins.
Why?
Obviously, I am supremely powerful, with a will of iron. My strength has conquered all.
I wish. <_<
NOPE.
That is why Will always won.
“Not One Puff Ever, (just for today).”
The section in brackets is rarely written. However, the reason that folk pledge every day, is because when you quit something, you don’t quit forever.
Quitting forever is scary. Quitting forever makes you look at that last cigarette with longing, with love and with grief. “Forever” makes you want to put off the parting, to leave quitting for another day, “when the time is right, when I’m not so stressed”.
No, when I quit, I quit for the day.
“Listen Addiction. Today, we are Quit. Stop whining and whingeing, we are not smoking today. We can talk about it again tomorrow.” Will would say that each morning as I had my morning coffee, which was tasting better and better each day.
Next morning, we would have the same chat. Sometimes, Will even said “Oh Addiction, I’m sorry. I forgot we were going to talk. I have only gone onto quittrain.com and pledged Not One Puff Ever again. Let’s talk again tomorrow.”
Now, I have these conversations less and less.
After 30 years hard, hard work, Addiction is taking a well earned break. He is sleeping for Britain. Now and again, he raises his drowsy head and mutters “Is it time yet?” and Will whispers “Not today. Let’s talk tomorrow.” Addiction goes back to sleep, for weeks, months at a time.
To be honest, I forget to pledge most days, but occasionally, in honour of my old workhorse, Addiction, I pass by the Quittrain, pledge, maybe say Hi to a few old friends and one or two new ones.
Give or take, I have avoided 22,000 Cigarettes that would have cost me £8,750 or $12,500. I am fitter and healthier. I smell a lot better. The world smells and tastes a lot better too. A huge surprise to me was how different the world looks. Colours are actually brighter (nicotine does actually make the world duller apparently) and colours seem brighter too.
They seem brighter because I look at the world through the eyes of someone who saw Addiction for what it was, educated himself and gently put it to sleep. Not on its timetable, but on mine.
I have not become supremely powerful, nor do I have that will of iron, but quitting has made me powerful, it has made me understand my Will a little better.
Thirty years smoking is not free. The bill is coming. I have damaged myself. What the bill will be? Who knows? When it comes. It will be paid.
None of us are getting out of life alive folks.
What I do know is that quitting smoking is the best thing that I have ever done. Apart from all of the obvious benefits, it has given me back my sense of worth, my sense of being in control.
Thinking of quitting?
Tell you what.
Just quit for today.
You might just save your own life.