Jonny5

Trish, Print these words of yours and keep them in your pocket. Trish, I know that for whatever reason you are feeling very lost right now. You have been through this before and you know that a cigarette WILL NOT MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. IN FACT, IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE! You will still be upset about your original problems, you will be more upset because you smoked, and you will stink. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SMOKE! You are doing such an amazing job! Don't throw it away! PLEASE DON'T MAKE US START OVER!!! IF YOU HAVE JUST ONE CIGARETTE, YOU'LL BE BACK WHERE YOU STARTED. WHERE YOU STARTED WAS DESPERATELY WISHING YOU WERE WHERE YOU ARE TODAY. JUNKIE THINKING: “I really need to smoke now, I’m so upset.” RESPONSE: “Smoking is not going to fix anything. I’ll still be upset, I’ll just be an upset smoker. I never have to have a cigarette. Smoking is not a need; it’s a want. Once the crisis is over, I’ll be relieved and grateful I’m still not smoking.”

Triggers to smoke occur because that is the way our brains are designed to function.... basically a trigger is an Autocue to carry out a certain action, with repeated actions we do these things automatically, an example is driving in a car that has the steering wheel on the other side, for a while we go to change gear with the wrong hand, or open a door that isn't there lol. When we lived our lives as smokers we taught ourselves to automatically smoke after certain events, and in certain situations. When we quit smoking the triggers to smoke remain..... ....until they are overwritten with a new automated action. an example would be that after a few mornings without my coffee break smoke, the auto trigger begins to subside in intensity until it's completely gone. It is important to understand how this works, even me at over two years quit! I am going to Europe in the summer, the last time I done that I was a smoker, so I am prepared for a few triggers. the positive thing is that I know that it is not a part of me wanting to return to smoking, it is just an Autocue requiring resetting.

Oh and Trish..... have a listen to this lady.... Trish, I know that for whatever reason you are feeling very lost right now. You have been through this before and you know that a cigarette WILL NOT MAKE ANYTHING BETTER. IN FACT, IT WILL ONLY MAKE IT WORSE! You will still be upset about your original problems, you will be more upset because you smoked, and you will stink. YOU DO NOT WANT TO SMOKE! You are doing such an amazing job! Don't throw it away! PLEASE DON'T MAKE US START OVER!!!

Tiffany pretty much sums it up right here. If I may I would add that sometimes you have to really learn to be a stubborn, unmoveable and unforgiving SOB towards yourself, let me elaborate, imagine your inner junkie as a spoiled brat child screaming at their Mom in a supermarket, they want want want!!! and Mom puts her foot down and says NO!!! we respect that kind of Mom don't we. We know that she will make that spoiled little brat behave and hopefully grow up to be a nice kid. Your inner junkie is that spoiled brat. don't give an inch, put your foot down and take control.

Suz, I am so happy that you are here. You were one of the long term quits that guided me when I appeared on the scene back in 2011. I've always appreciated your help, your support, and your friendship that grew from our quit world out into the outside world :-) it's nice for me to have a longer quit to turn to for advice if I need it too :-) You are going to be an amazing asset to this board, I hope that many of our other friends will join us here. when they see what a lovely place we have created :-)

I'm sorry for your loss Julie :-( I hate what smoking does to us :-(

please don't stay angry at him, we have all been the trapped smoker, thinking we couldn't quit. We were the lucky ones who learned where to find the right help and education. every smoker that I help to free themselves makes me feel like I'm fighting back against what stole my friend. here's a big hug coming your way Tracey :-) x

My friend quit smoking 6 years ago... ...because he died aged 48 of throat cancer just before he died he told me that he didn't want to die, he was angry that the doctors didn't spot it soon enough, he was sad that he was leaving his wife and their only son. he told me to enjoy my life and it turned out that those were his last words to me. his widow and I eventually managed to quit, but not after embarrasingly smoking together at his funeral. It's a true story, and I think about this often. scare tactics don't work? this ain't no monster in the closet story, this is real life. His name was Robert, and he was my friend, and I miss him, and his death was totally avoidable. Enjoy your life.... ....live it smart, stay smoke free my dear friends

Nothing bad happens Its an empty threat good things do actually happen, you rewrite a trigger and heal a little more I learned this early on and it served me well. To the point that I sought out as many triggers as possible and threw myself into as much craving as possible. Kind of like ripping off the plaster rather than slowly peeling

You quit smoking. You stopped doing something that you used to do, that thing was 100% negative that's all you did. life is instantly better. It will take time to readjust, but readjust you will. The bigger a deal you make of it, the more of a big problem your junkie mind will perceive and use to bully and scare you. Don't get me wrong, it is possibly the most important positive step you have taken in your whole life, and the difference it will make to your life is huge, but it is huge in a good way, not in a negative way. so remember, don't blow it out of proportion, freaking out and panicking is a major quit killer. calmness is your friend.

Juan, sorry I'm late to the party, It's late her in England but luckily one of the other mods got hold of me :-) It sounds like you have received a lot of very sensible support already, that is wonderful :-) as for my opinion, I have a feeling you asked for me because you know that I'll support that part of you that is fighting against the nonsense that your inner junkie is making up. You are so much stronger than you think, and more importantly you are so much more smarter than you think. I think that you may be getting overwhelmed by all the smokers around you, I think that the thought of successfully quitting forever has panicked you. at times like this it is often good to break it down in to little bite sized chunks, it makes it easier to get through each moment until you are feeling more able to embrace bigger chunks of what this quit means. eventually you become strong through proving to yourself that you have got what it takes, then you start to look at a whole bright future smoke free. but for now, baby steps, and try not to focus on your brothers 3 month quit. this can make you feel inferior. If you can, apologise to your Mum, you will feel better for it :-) right now I want you to remember how awesome you are :-) You got this Juan, and I've got you, along with all these other wonderful people :-)

....No, You probably won't.... This was an excuse that I used for years, I was waiting to be ready, I was waiting to not want to smoke anymore. we are drug addicts, it doesn't work like that. Some can quit with no problems at all, however most people will need education and support, to help change their mindset and begin their journey to freedom. sign up today, read about nicotine addiction, ask questions on here. I can assure you that most of us have been through the same thing as you. Best wishes

You've got this Al, great work mate :-)

Lol. When I first came up with this it was to test a theory that lung capacity increases after you quit. In the absence of medical testing equipment this little excercise is quite an eye opener :-)

the shock we put our bodies and minds through when we first quit often affects our mood and can make us angry and sensitive. don't worry about how you may or may not have acted in the past, all that matters is now, we can all look back upon times that we would wish to change.

glad to see you too Comrade, I'm glad that you have stuck to your quit and fought through the torment that quitting can leave us in. forget the past, here's to the future :-)

This is a tried and tested idea I had a while back. take a moment to write yourself a response to your own SOS. no one knows you like you know yourself, and if you do post an SOS we can show you your own words, something that you will really listen to. do it now while you are strong, as we know that when we are weak we can struggle to fight and to find the fight within ourselves. I'll get this started.. Jonny, what ever is going on that has thrown you into this confusion, please stop and reflect on your achievements and restore that belief in yourself. You know that you are free and that you have always sought and fought for that freedom, and that your freedom or imprisonment are simply states of mind that you control.

During the early days of my quit when I felt that I was giving something up, my anger was very bad. Once I changed my mind about how I viewed my quit everything changed. firstly I had physically changed, stress no longer threw me into nicotine withdrawal, due to the stress induced extra acidity in the urine neutralising the alkaloid nicotine. but I think the biggest change for me was a mental one. I stopped believing that I had given up my stress reliever, and in turn stopped getting angry that I was unable to control my anger. it takes time to retrain your thoughts, but it can be done.