marie-quit

NOPE

NOPE

Of to a hurried busy start....still NOPEing

DD and I made it home safe and sound. And as I had anticipated the urge to smoke was very strong, knowing that I had money and a store just 5 miles down the road, I had to battle the urge to go and buy a pack, just for one. But I did not. I NOPE-d every time I felt the desire to. I was surprised that the urge was mental and not physical. It was just fleeting thoughts that I had to work through. No anxiousness, it was somewhat a loneliness, which seemed a bit strange. Now this morning it is a different store, today it is physical, very apprehensive, a physical feeling of jitter-ness and not really thoughts in my mind. But some of that is because of "life" itself. I am home today and I will be sticking close to the boards and this blog. I have some emotional stuff to of the mind to work through. So prepare for some ramblings, self reflection and moments of truth. Sorry in advance, but I came to this board for a community of people that would support me and lift me up as I make this "huge" change in my life.

Day 4 of NOPE-ing

Thanks Lin and Jilar, the return home was very eventful, but I am still a non smoking, will update in a blog post in a bit.

NOPE

Day 2 and I am smoke free. It has been easy up to this point. I knew I would not be smoking anyway. I did not sleep well last night but I am sure it is from staying in a hotel bed as opposed to my own bed. I really have not had any cravings. I have only chewed 4 pieces of gum. DD and I ate at lunch at CookOut and I did have a deep longing for a "smoke" when I tried to drink my milkshake. I guess the pull on the straw as I was trying to get the think milkshake through the straw "inspired the desire" to smoke. So I ate my shake with a spoon. Yesterday when we stopped to fuel up before we started up the mountains I came a cross to cigarettes in the pocket on the passengers side. I contemplated keeping them, buying a lighter so I could smoke later that evening when we got to the hotel. But I quickly broke them and threw them away before I talked myself into buying the lighter. I am pleased that I have not been short tempered, as normally I do get very short tempered when I go a period of time with out a cigarette. Tomorrow we travel home, getting home will be the real challenge, as I will be back in to a daily routine. I have been reading over the changes to the body, but as I am using gum and I still have nicotine in my body I guess I can not gauge my recovery based on these times lines. I was trying to find something positive to focus on for day 3 of my quit as I know this might be a struggle once I return home. By day 3 nicotine should be out of the body, but of course I have been using the gum so that is not the case. So I will focus on the fact that my lungs have been smoke free for 3 days and that I am free from trying to find the time to smoke. It truly had become a burden to find a time to smoke, and then in high stress times it became stressful trying to sneak in a cigarette. But amazingly enough I would smoke a pack a day. Unbelievable, imagine what I could accomplish if I channel that effort to something else......hum need to think about what I can channel my effort towards. That will be my day 3 goal. Today I was amazed at the number of student on campus that were vaping.

24 hours and 2 mins smoke-free NOPE for the next 24 hours

Today is the day that I "Quit The Beast". My DD and I are on a trip to for her final college visitation. So it is a good fit. Travel time is 6.5 hours and I do not smoke around my family so it is a nice cushion to make this day as my mind will not be totally focused on smoking. I have become very accustomed to not smoking around my family and know that it would make the first two days easier, as I would not be smoking anyway. I have bought along some munchies for the evening time, carrots, pistachios, cheezits, and some black lickerish. As well as bottled water, sparkling water. I also have a NTG (gum) as well as regular gum. I know this evening will be tough as I would slip away to the parking lot and smoke a couple once we got to our hotel room. But I have made a commitment and will stick with it. I am determined to "Start A New". I will be blogging a lot as blogging helps me work through emotions, gives me direction and reenforces my decisions. ****** At 9:21 today I smoked my last Cigarette. It had been a very busy and hectic morning. I have been up since 3:00am getting ready for a trip with my DD(18), for a college visit. I had planned on smoking my last one before we headed out for our trip at 10:00 I was very stressed out and pushed for time. I planned on romancing my last one, just before we left, but the stress was so bad and I could feel the agitation getting worse as I was trying to finish up packing and the more I thought about getting that last one in the more anxious I got, so I just took the last of the pack ran water over them so that they would not be smokeable, and throw them away. I gave up the beast.

Thank you notsmokinjo and Lin-quitting for your words of encouragement and support.

At 9:21 today I smoked my last Cigarette. It had been a very busy and hectic morning. I have been up since 3:00am getting ready for a trip with my DD(18), for a college visit. I had planned on smoking my last one before we headed out for our trip at 10:00 I was very stressed out and pushed for time. I planned on romancing my last one, just before we left, but the stress was so bad and I could feel the agitation getting worse as I was trying to finish up packing and the more I thought about getting that last one in the more anxious I got, so I just took the last of the pack ran water over them so that they would not be smokeable, and throw them away. I gave up the beast.

Well I have smoked today, but I smoked my last one at 9:21. I did not want to wait until tomorrow to focus on my NOPE, so I am NOPEing for the rest of the day.

Thanks all for you wonderful support, comments and advice. Today is my quit date, so I will be here a lot. The one thing I find much comfort in is the support of groups and forums. I am a member of another forum and have been for 10 years now. They are like my family. So I will absolutely be reaching out here as my new "Smoke Free Life" starts to unfold. I have taken the time to comment back to each of you and to put in bold some of your "golden nuggets" that you have shared with me so that I can pop back on to this post and quickly get a refocus at times when it is needed. Thank you all for your support. Weegie congratulations on your 148 day quite, hum I guess it is 150 days today...almost half a year--- WTG, you rock! I will focus on my bodies recovery from this additions. reciprocity -- Phew--Self Discipline I have none....but in reflection I am sure it boils down to lack of Self Confidence which Smoking has been a major player in my lack of Self Confidence. Actually in just another moment of reflection as I am writing this, I do have Self Discipline but I have a hard time maintaining it. So mental note to figure out how to start to maintain Self Discipline. jillar -- Thank you for your support.... ONWARD TO A NEW LIFE FOR ME--no size fits all Doreensfree--Thank you for your support.....1st Step is to Believe in yourself notsmokinjo--Congrats on 4 months smoke free WTG!!! Currently I am only taking meds as needed. I stopped taking antidepressant in January. Everyday when I would wake up my first thought was how I could not wait to get the day over with so I could get back in bed. So I had to stop taking them. Thanks for sharing your experience with using "the gum". Set a limit on amount of gum per day, focus on 24 hours smoke free. Sazerac--I can feel your belief in me when I read your post....thank you...Good, Strong, Sturdy--confidence built through freedom from "The Beast" beazel--Thanks for the encouragement, and I am thankful to have this community to come back to. Build the relationship Sslip--Thanks for the encouragement and support. I will remember to pledge daily, not allow my current life situations to sabotage my quit. remember to do it for me so that I may take control of my life, and lean on my community here for the ups and downs. Giveintowin -- Thanks for sharing you experience. I am a bit fearful about using the gum as that well be yet another hurdle to over come. But I have bought some and will use it. I have been using during the day, as I can not smoke between 7:15 and 4:15 while at work. I only started using during the work day about 6 weeks ago. It has helped, prior to using the gum I would find some reason to have to leave campus during my planning period to smoke. But now I do not have to. Smoking gives us the false message that we need it and can’t stop it but we can stop it.

Thanks so much reciprocity and beazel for the visit and for your support and words of wisdom. Today is my quit day and I really have tried not to build it up to much, as that will make me anxious. At around 9:00 my DD and I will be leaving for a 2 day trip to visit a college 7 hours away. Finial tour before she makes her final decisions between 3 schools. So at 9 I will get rid of whatever I have left of my pack and just be done with it. It should be a stress free enjoyable trip for the start of my "Smoke Free Life".