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Tink

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Everything posted by Tink

  1. has the beer flavour run out?
  2. congrats jimmy 19 months is awesome so glad to share this journey with you xx
  3. Happy hour :)

  4. Tink

    chicks or sticks

    -9
  5. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU7d3mMufW4
  6. fishfingers in batter
  7. fantastic news becca well done :)
  8. back tickles
  9. saw this on my FB page this morning so funny.. TOO FUNNY NOT TO PASS ON!! How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?' ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral... _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
  10. Tink

    Photo Share

    lovely picture nancy :) hope you have fun on the boat and have stocked up on wine xx
  11. battery
  12. Tink

    chicks or sticks

    5
  13. coffee chat room anyone, especially if you cannot get to the party tonight

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. Tink

      Tink

      lets get this party started :)

    3. Tink

      Tink

      rez has agreed to be barman and stripper :)

       

    4. REZ

      REZ

      I did? Will need more wine :)

  14. Tink

    chicks or sticks

    3 double crap I will get a slap from the chicks for those lol
  15. grabbing a coffee and will see if i can get in there on this lap top anyone want to join in for coffee morning?
  16. Tink

    chicks or sticks

    oh crap was distracted by action man thong thread 1
  17. farting is not allowed in chat - it is too cramped of a space :)
  18. Tink

    chicks or sticks

    -1 just testing the water today in here mmmm seems nice and warm so far :)
  19. way to go Nat you are doing fabulous great to see your journey and you are already paying it forward to others which is fantastic to see :)
  20. TGIF NOPE
  21. awake
  22. awesome have fun, safe trip sounds grueling but a good challenge, hope the snow holds off what some people do for kicks and giggles eh? ;)
  23. chicks look good on bikes :)
  24. November party sounds great :)

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