Rewind 4 weeks! If only I could...
I can honestly say I have been through the wringer, chewed up and spat out, I have gone through every emotion possible since my sister's death, we cremated her on Thursday and there is still a way to go to sort out the family and heal but a corner has been turned.
Did I think about lighting up... hell yes of course I did every single day! I'm a nicotine addict, in fact I even contemplated having some of my uncle's whacky backy and puffing on a vape thing at one point but I didn't.
It's a moment in time isn't it, your decision in that split second that will define you.
I can honestly say it's not strength that pulled me through as I was on my ass
it was organisation, determination, walks, smashing stones, my religious beliefs, writing down my feelings and thoughts, youtube videos, lurking here and the number one sentence "it's not going to change a thing!" and NOPE
Life will always throw us addicts a curve ball, we cannot change or prevent it, we can only push through it and when the storm passes life will continue, maybe not the same but it will continue.....
On that note I'm off to the pub my niece is back to work tonight so I'm going for a few shandys and show some moral support ;)