MichelleDoesntSmoke

is it possible to overdose on blow pops?

thank you thank you thank you. I am going to take a nap. After that, some more work and after that, a trip to the dollar store for treats and then to a 12 step meeting where I'll see my sponsor and sponsee sisters and will tell them YES!!!! I AM STILL SMOKE FREE!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!!!!

This gurl!!!! Whoop!!! Whoop!! Thank you for all of your support! Onward to the next 24 hours.....

You can do this. you have FOUR MONTHS of freedom...thats HUGE!!!!

Ah but then the rationalization kicks in. "Well, one more cig or one more pack wouldn't give me lung cancer" which is CRAP because it absolutely can. So even if I could keep it to one cig or one pack....I would still be putting myself in danger.So would you. Hang in there with me

Thanks Your Highness. Again, Babs says something that helps me.... "Tempted to do what? Kill myself? slowly? ingest poisons into my body? no....not tempting at all.... tempted to put the shackles back on my wrists?? UM>...NO!! Screw that....you are way way way way way way way beyond that." I do NOT want to put something poisonous in my mouth and set fire to it. Thats madness.

YAY!!!! YES I DOOOOOOOOO one week...yay! Thanks all.

Wow so those of you who were with me yesterday....well you remember. It wasn't pretty. I claimed victory when I laid down for the night. So so happy. This morning I woke with a crave as usual but shook it off, reminded myself of my victory then pledged NOPE on the board. Did a little reading and reached out to a few people. Then started working (I'm building my website portfolio because I'm looking for work as a web designer/developer so right now all my work is unpaid, at home lol) When my roommate (the nonsmoker) left for work my brain went back to its old thoughts. Since I don't smoke around him (he knows I smoke but its something we just dont talk about cuz I'm embarrassed) as soon as he leaves I usually start smoking for the day. So of course when he left my brain went "Oh okay now its time to smoke. Oh you don't have any? No problem! We have money. Lets take a walk down to 7-11" I said "No" Here are all the reasons why, to remind myself by adding to what others will say: It set about trying everything to convince me it was a dandy idea. So yesterday when I was having such a hard time, one of the things I did was call my sponsor. She talked me down off the ledge then suggested I take the $8 or so that I would have spent on a pack last night, take it to the Dollar Store and buy myself some little treats/rewards then call her to tell her what I bought. If I smoke, I can't do that. I can't lie to her. I'll have to call her and tell her I didn't buy my treats because I smoked and am starting over. If I'm lucky enough to put them down after today. I washed all my clothes. Nothing smells like smoke. My hair doesn't smell like smoke. My fingers don't smell like smoke. I'm not coughing. I can take a deep breath. I'm not lying to anyone (I was a closet smoker) If I have just one, I'll have to start this mess all over again. I WONT have just one, I know I wont. If I smoke today I will have to keep stopping working to go outside and smoke. What a pain. I don't want to be like my mother. I remember as a child watching her attempts to quit and not understanding it..if she wanted to quit, why couldn't she just quit? Each time she started I was confused and disappointed in her (again this is when I was a child) She died of pneumonia at age 62. She had lupus so her immune system was compromised anyway, and smoking on top of that, well her body just couldn't fight it off. The doctors said her lungs were in VERY bad shape.She didnt care how she smelled and didnt seem to realize how her smoking bothered others. I dont want to be like that. Ok. Popping a blow pop in my mouth and getting back to work. I guess this was a combination of reaching out asking for help and pre responding to my own SOS. Thank you for listening

Is she receptive to not smoking while visiting you?

to Her Highness the Queen You have a mix of Australian AND Scottish accents? Yowza!!! Rats you're married though right? Darn. .....oh wait...I'm married too....LMAO

Welcome, and congratulations!!!! You have made a FABULOUS decision. This quit I have not experienced the gas problems but on prior quits....wow. It does pass. I like the Queen of Scotland's advice (above) LOL Hope to see you post a lot, it really helps

thank you all, so much. Today is starting out to be much better!

Hippity Happity Burfday!!!

Fair enough. We all have our different perspectives and opinions, right? The beauty is in respecting each others, which is what I see us all doing. I really like this board so far. You guys are awesome. (oops, my California was showing there for a moment)

NOPE NOPE NOPE

I'm on the US West Coast, Pacific Time, so I believe I will be the last one "up" and posting tomorrow! See ya'll tomorrow....when I will, in fact, have ONE WEEK!!!! With your help of course...... :-)

Luckily I don't have too much of an association between coffee and smoking. And thats a very very good thing because I DO love my coffee! That being said, the first cig in the morning is the one I miss the most. The good news is that the past few mornings have been easier than the first few!!!

Pippa......No blow pops in Australia? Le sad!

Its delicious madness, thats what it is! Lollipop with a bubble gum center. Essentially its tooth decay on a stick but its better than a cig!

cpk I was going to say that today I had serious doubts if I wanted to quit more than I wanted to smoke, but since I didn't....I read and posted and called my sponsor, etc....I suppose I DID want to quit more than I wanted to smoke. Yay, Me.

Mike and cpk you made me laugh sooooooooo hard. Marti, yeah it was the hardest day I have ever had on ANY quit. I'm amazed I made it through. Wouldnt have if it wasn't for you guys. TEW.....THATS MY GIRL!!!! I ate a half a bag of blowpops and two lemon pudding cups. I have been known to go through a stick of butter in my sleep. So you're in good company. 11:41pm and I am going to try to get some sleep...grateful I made it through the day!!!

That was a great post. Reminds me of a similar experience I didn't mention. My roommate has no addiction issues. Not smoking, not drinking, drugs, nothing. Except Facebook. I found a baggie of a dried green leafy substance on the bookcase. In roughly 2.5 seconds I had every emotion known to man....good and bad ones. Stuck my nose in the bag and smelled but wasn't too sure...been a long time since I smelled that stuff. Starting thinking i should eat some, or ingest it somehow...I'm 4.5 months clean and sober so that was very, very bad. Messaged my roommate asking what it is...................................catnip. LOL Thats when I called my sponsor.

Thats right! I dove in and tried to be inspirational to others earlier today, when I really didnt feel inspirational at all. It did help!

I was really starting to think I wasn't going to make it. If I can do a week, i can do two. If I can do two weeks, I can do a month. If I can do a month, I can do a year. I never have to smoke again, even if I want to....none of us do!!!