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MarylandQuitter

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Everything posted by MarylandQuitter

  1. Glad you quit again but let me ask you this question: Did smoking help you through whatever you were dealing with today? If so, why did you quit again? Don't answer that because I know the answer and so do you. It didn't help. It never did and it never will. How can we help you stop this cycle of quitting/relapse? Bad things happen, Evelyn, and oftentimes with no reason or explanation. Certainly not one to satisfy our search for "why" something has happened. Sometimes things just happen and we have to accept that. We cannot let these things or times be the defining moments of our lives. Even if it was something that happened decades ago, we cannot let it or continue to let it define us. It's normal to ask "why did this happen to me" but once that question has served it's purpose, we must ask ourselves, "where do I go from here?" We have to because if we don't, we end up in constant state of despair with little reprieves here and there. We need to get to the point where we have longer periods of feeling good and stop punishing ourselves (no more reprieves!) for things we cannot and probably never had control over. I know in your case, you HAD NO CONTROL so please stop punishing yourself for things that you couldn't have stopped from happening and it was and is no reflection on you whatsoever. You're a good person. Even when you're hurting you still reach out to those in this support group and offer kind word of encouragement. You always have friends and a home here and we want to see you succeed and maintain a long quit DESPITE all of the shit that has happened and the unavoidable shitty days to come. We all have them. I had a shitty day for about 9 months one time. :) Stay strong and remember, "By endurance we conquer!"--Sir Ernest Shackleton
  2. Congratulations! Now, think of what all you endured to get to this point. When people relapse, they have to go through all that crap AGAIN! Not worth it! The benefits of staying quit grow more and more each day we don't smoke. Just a heads up; while you're enjoying your newfound freedom from this deadly addiction, don't EVER forget that you once were a smoker and are an addict. The time we forget this or become complacent in our quits, we end up in trouble. For me, smoking was something that I used to do, something I cannot do over and it's become a part of who I am. I never want to forget because I never want to go back. :) Complacency Video discussing the importance of not allowing yourself to become complacent after longer term success not smoking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZSktbwotI4&index=30&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB I Know Too Much About Smoking To Ever Relapse Video discusses how some people may erroneously begin to think that when they fully understand all aspects of smoking and quitting that there is no way that they could ever relapse back to smoking again. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMU8ON0G4G0
  3. You're quite welcome! Yes, the little milestones are very, very important because they keep you motivated and focused. Also, celebrate those little milestones!!
  4. Yep. You can just quote the person and then on top or... you can just quote the person and then reply underneath like this. Replying underneath is the most common way to respond. :)
  5. Are People Doomed To Fail If They Don't Get Professional Help To Quit Smoking? Video discusses the reality of how most people who have successfully quit smoking did it without any professional help or medical intervention, and often with little to no understanding of how to quit smoking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VtX_oEOdbn8 Real World Quitters Video discusses the reality of how most people who successfully quit smoking did it without any professional help or medical intervention. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E72P_5saQAU What Programs Do I Recommend? Video addressing a question I am asked frequently about what other smoking cessation programs I recommend to people from different areas. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3DBj_c5-Z8
  6. Welcome, hford! You will learn that it's impossible that smoking can calm you when you're stressed. Nicotine raises your blood pressure, increases your heart rate and causes adrenaline to soar through your nervous system. Your body is flooded with the "fight or flight" mechanism of survival. We thought it calmed stress because in between cigarettes we were in a mild state of withdrawal which in and of itself is stressful. So, what did we do? We smoked which relieved the withdrawal symptoms and we erroneously believed it calmed us when we were stressed. Smoking causes stress, in more ways than just the immediate effects as increased heart rate etc. I too used to reward myself with a cigarette when I was happy, completed a job, needed a break etc. What kind of reward is that? As you stick around and take advantage of all of the articles, videos and posts to educate yourself about this addiction, you'll beat it once and for by being smarter than it, not stronger than it; a fallacy often associated with smokers unable to quit or stay quit for very long. Are you quitting cold turkey? How do you plan on dealing with urges to smoke today? Videos to start watching today, your new beginning and being free from this addiction I'll Be A Nervous Wreck Forever If I Quit Smoking Video explores the fear that people have that they will become much more nervous when they quit smoking, and likely be more nervous the rest of their lives if they stay free. Despite these fears, most people become calmer as former smokers than they were when actually smoking. The video explains why this is usually the case. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJBu7Bf3LpM&index=15&list=PL0F23FAFB942E402A Be Proud That You Quit Smoking Video discusses the importance of being proud of yourself when you are first quitting smoking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpxnCA7fBNs&list=PL8EB359C247D3FE6C&index=15 Using Cigarettes As Rewards Video discusses how what many people find themselves not wanting to do certain activities because they can no longer reward themselves with a cigarette for completion of their tasks. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XYq43i2tKaY Smoking Doesn't Help Solve Stress Video discusses how smoking cannot solve stress, and in actuality usually results in making people more nervous in general than if they were former smokers or had never smoked in their lives. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6C5eTa93JSs&index=25&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB
  7. That's a bummer but there is good news! Support groups like this are plentiful (not quite as good as ours but I'm biased :) ) and teach through education how to beat this addiction. Some people do it with no help or aids at all but most benefit greatly from a support group. I know I did! I don't think there is anything out there that we don't have on this site that is available elsewhere. So much knowledge here, Joel's videos, documentaries, articles, an entire blog dedicated to the history of Big Tobacco, just to name a few. The member contributions and interactions are invaluable. :D
  8. Glad you're back on the train! Don't Let A Slip Put You Back To Using Video stresses the importance of drawing a clear line in the sand regarding the issue of whether or not to take a puff. Another alternate title for for this video could have been "should I reset my quit meter?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cfxzB804S4&index=3&list=PL4F05C03D0F9B86DB
  9. Tomorrow is a new day and right now is a new moment in your life. Your life is precious and it should be treated as such. Bad shit happens. Hurtful things happen and sometimes things are downright devastating. Your life is more important than all of that. NOPE doesn't have to start on Nov. 4th, it can start November 3rd...right now.
  10. Did you cut yourself on purpose?
  11. Do you currently have any cigarettes? If so, get rid of them!!
  12. There is no "almost caving" as either you relapse or you don't. You won't. Ride it out and this will pass, just like it always has. Today is no different. :)
  13. Congratulations, Joe! Awesome picture. Definitely one to be handed down for generations. :)
  14. Worst advice ever. Are you a smoker or former smoker? You have a quit date posted as of today.
  15. Such a simple video, yet complex and powerful.
  16. The Power Of Nicotine Addiction Video explains the full power of the grip that nicotine can take on an individual and the consequences that can be faced if a person does not quit smoking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TpYRrZG5l8A Heart And Circulatory Diseases Video discusses how and why more people die from cardiovascular diseases from smoking than die from lung cancer caused by smoking. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Xt9v-aozUg&feature=youtu.be
  17. Holy cow! That's eye opening, as if smoking wasn't already! Yikes!
  18. The recovered alcoholic, the heroin addict, the nicotine addict, deep down each knows the "Law of Addiction." They've heard it over and over again. Just one sip, one tiny fix, or one little puff of nicotine, just once, that's all it takes and the addict is back! They know that either immediately or in a short period of time they'll once again be slaves to their old level of drug use or greater. We know the Law of Addiction so why do we break it? There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory. It doesn't matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us. Rewriting the law of addiction is easy and you don't need a pencil, paper or computer to do it. Amending the Law of Addition "Just one puff" and then "do not pass go, do not collect $200, but go directly to the addict's prison and surrender your freedom for good." It isn't that the recovering nicotine addict doesn't know or believe the law of addiction because we do. It's just that we begin to believe that we're the exception. We convince ourselves that we're stronger and smarter than those who discovered the law, and wiser than all addicts who came before us. We amend the law. We put ourselves above it. "Just one, it'll be ok, I can handle it, I'm stronger than the others, a little reward, it's been a while, I've earned it." I'm sorry. As soon as such thoughts begin infecting the mind they tend to start feeding on themselves and in all likelihood your body's period of healing and freedom is over. Your dreams and hard work are all being thrown into a dirty toilet that one puff of nicotine is about to flush. Instead of saying that you can handle "just one," a truthful statement would have been "I can handle them all, give them all back to me, my entire addiction, all the ashtrays, the coughs, the stink, the endless stream of 4,000 plus deadly chemicals that come with each puff (including up to 81 known cancer causing agents), the constant gradual destruction of every cell in my lungs and the gradual clogging and hardening of every blood vessel in my body, the 50/50 chance of killing myself 13-14 years early, all the money it will cost me to stay enslaved for years and years to come (together with massive future price increases designed to get me to quit), the growing social pressures that will make me feel even more like an outcast, I want it all back, all of it!" It's far easier for the junkie mind to create a one puff or one cigarette exception to the law" than admit the truth. A one pack a day addiction is 7,300 cigarettes a year. Don't picture smoking just one. Instead, picture yourself sticking at least a year's supply into your mouth all at once. Try fitting them all into your mouth because in truth that's exactly where they'll be going, year after year after year. "To thine own self be true." You deserve the truth - you paid the price - you earned it. The Perfect Excuse The excuse can be anything. Usually the addict waits for that great excuse to come along, but some get tired of waiting and any old excuse will do. Even joy! A reunion with an old smoking buddy, a few drinks with friends, a wedding, a graduation, or even a baby's birth and a free nicotine laden cigar, or trying a harmless looking new nicotine delivery device like the 27 flavors of suckers, the straw, lozenges, candy or even nicotine water or soda, why not! But joyful or even stupid nicotine relapse is harder to explain to yourself and those you love. The smart nicotine addict waits for the great excuse, the one that we know we can sell to ourselves and others. As sick as it may sound, the easiest to sell and the best of all is the death of a loved one. Although everyone we love is destined to die and it'll happen sooner or later, for the reformed addict it's the perfect excuse for relapse. I mean, who can blame us for ingesting highly addictive drugs into our bodies upon our mother's death. Anyone who does would have to be extremely insensitive or totally heartless! Right? Losing a job, the end of a relationship, serious illness, disease or financial problems are all great excuses too - it's drug time again! The addict is back! Lost Memories But an excuse doesn't work alone. It needs help. Failing memories of "why" we were willing to put ourselves through the anxieties and emotion of physical withdrawal, and weeks and weeks of psychological adjustment in order to break free, breathe fatal life into any excuse. Most of us failed to keep a detailed record of why we commenced recovery or what it was like. Instead, we are forced to rely upon our memory to accurately and vividly preserve the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. But now, the memory in which we placed all our trust has failed us. It isn't that your memory is bad, faulty or doing anything wrong. In fact, it's working as it should to preserve in as much detail as possible the joyful events of life, while forgetting, as quickly as possible, all the pain and anguish that we've felt, including our disdain for the addict's life we lived. To have our brains do otherwise would make life inside our minds unbearable. If women were forced to remember the true agony and intense pain of childbirth, most would have just one. We are each blessed with the gift to forget. So how does the reformed nicotine addict who failed to keep accurate records of their journey revive their passion for freedom and recall liberty's price? If we forget the past, are we destined to repeat it? Not necessarily. It doesn't have to be. But just as any loving relationship needs nourishment to flourish, we can never take our recovery for granted or the flame will eventually die and the fire will go out. We have to want to protect this glory until the day we die. We have to turn that "want" into action. If we do, we win. If not, our fate may be up in the air with serious risk of relapse followed by crippling disease or even a very early grave. Whether it's daily, weekly or monthly, our recovery needs care. If you don't have a detailed log to regularly review when faced with adversity, upon each anniversary of your quit, or at each birthday, do your best to create one now. Talk to those still smoking and ask for help in revitalizing your memories. Encourage them to be as truthful as possible. Although they may look like they're enjoying their addiction to smoking nicotine, the primary joy they get is in keeping their body's blood serum nicotine level within the comfort zone, so as to avoid the onset of the anxieties and craves of early withdrawal. Show them your pen and paper and invite them to help you create your list. You may even cause a spark in them. Be kind and sincere. It wasn't long ago that those were our shoes. Also, try envisioning the first week. What was it like? Can you still feel the powerful craves as your body begged and cried to be fed? Can you still feel the pain? Do you see yourself not being able to concentrate, having difficulty sleeping, feeling depressed, angry, irritable, frustrated, restless, with tremendous anxiety, a foggy mind, sweating palms, rapidly cycling emotions, irrational thinking, emotional outbursts or even the shakes? Do you remember these things? Do you remember the price you paid for freedom? Do you remember why you were willing to pay it? If you have access to a computer, you won't need a smoker's help or even to recall the early days of your own journey. You can go on-line to scores of smoking cessation support groups and find thousands of battles being fought, hear tons of cries and watch hundreds struggling for survival as they cling to the promise of the rich sense of inner calmness, quiet and comfort that lies beyond. Visit as often as possible. Make a few posts to those in need. The most important thing you can tell them is the truth about why you are there. Tell them how comfortable and complacent you've become. It's what they yearn to hear! Many smoked their entire adult life and have a difficult time believing that withdrawal isn't permanent. Fear of the unknown is frightening. Help them and in doing so help yourself. If you find yourself attempting to rewrite the law of addiction, stop, think, remember, read, revisit, revive and give to others, but most important, be honest with you. Terrible and emotional events will happen in each of our lives - such is life. Adding full-blown nicotine relapse to any situation won't fix, correct or undo your underlying concern. In your mind, plan for disaster today. How will you cope and keep your healing alive should the person you love most in this world suddenly die? What will you do? Remember, we've only traded places with our chemical dependency and the key to the cell is one puff of nicotine. As long as we stay on this side of the bars, we are the jailors and our dependency the prisoner. We only have two choices. We can complete this temporary period of adjustment and enjoy comfortable probation for life or we can smoke nicotine, relapse, and intentionally inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon these innocent bodies for the remainder of their life, together with inviting a 50/50 chance that you'll be putting yourself to death. If the first choice sounds better - comfortable lifetime probation - then we each need only follow one simple rule - NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! Breathe deep, hug hard, live long! John
  19. There are three primary factors associated with relapse: (1) rewriting the law of addiction; (2) an excuse; and (3) a vague memory. It doesn't matter if it happens within two hours, two days, two weeks, two months, two years, or twenty, the factors remain the same and apply to all of us. https://www.quittrain.com/topic/7669-caring-for-our-quit-by-john-r-polito/?p=191537
  20. Well, I can tell you that I have one wonderful offspring and nothing would make me pick up an ecig to see what the appeal was for those who partake in such nonsense, including her. You see, I smoked for many years and already know the "appeal" is a lie; ecigs are just another means for Phillip Morris and others to attract new nicotine addicts and even lie to smokers to lead them to believe that it's a safe alternative to smoking cigarettes. No need to quit after all because the ecig is "safe" and "cool". It's all a lie. I don't need to puff on anything to reinforce the strength of my quit because should I need that, my quit would not be strong after all. Moreover, we cannot ever introduce nicotine back into our bodies, ever. And I'm not talking about eating potatoes either. Colleen made a mistake; we all do and there are consequences for our decisions and this is a perfect example of how even a long-term quitter can get sucked back into taking a puff. When I read this I was shocked and I'll holster my other emotions for now because Colleen was one of the few who believed in what we were doing when we started this support group and we all knew how dangerous taking a puff could be not only to ourselves, but also this group. It does not send a good message and because of that, there are consequences, even for those whom are "family".

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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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