You say that you're the queen of relapsing but there are others who've relapsed many more times than you have and are now enjoying long quits. The only quit that matters is the present one. The rest have no influence on this quit.
Our emotions aren't always indicative of the truth. Are you happy when you've relapsed and are afraid to quit again? You're happy when you've made the decision to quit and put out your last cigarette and then that happiness fades. So what? Quitting smoking isn't about making making us feel all warm and fuzzy - it's about saving our lives come hell or high water. It's about keeping our quits as we navigate through our ever-changing lives and not smoking for this day only, no matter what obstacles or challenges that may come our way.
As your quit ages, you'll become comfortable in your new life of not being a slave to nicotine. Right now you most likely associate smoking with your coping mechanism to experience life. Smoking is your back-up plan but as you put another day in the books as a non-smoker, you will have learned new ways to cope without smoking. You may not be aware of this each day, but once you reach longer periods of being quit, you'll be a happy non-smoker because of this. You won't always be happy (who is?) but you will always be happy that you're not a smoker.
Get through today and deal with tomorrow when it comes. Hang in there and keep this quit. :yes: