About Me
This is my third quit site, and I was saddened by the loss of my first two. I was extremely active for about 12 years on the first one, and then it radically changed in ways that made me uncomfortable. So I left. The second one simply disappeared into cyberspace after I was on it for a couple of years. I'm happy to be here, but I'm a bit reluctant to invest as much as I did with those previous sites.
Briefly, I've been quit since late 2001, and I was able to quit by pairing smoking cessation with other significant changes in nutrition and exercise. It was not easy at all (an understatement to be sure), but I persisted; interestingly and surprisingly (especially given how miserable I was for so long), I haven't had a single craving or even passing thought of smoking a cigarette since sometime in 2003. Not one. And I've had a fairly eventful couple of decades since then.
Regarding some of those "events," seven years after I quit (at age 40 and in excellent physical condition), I suffered a major (so-called "widowmaker") heart attack and cardiac arrest outside of a hospital setting, and it was pretty miraculous that I: a) survived; and b) survived without any cognitive impairments. Indeed, the cardiologist who saved my life characterized my survival and recovery as a "once-in-a-career outcome." I'll note, too, that my 42 year old brother died a terrible death from lung cancer and his wife committed suicide on the very same day that I had my heart attack and cardiac arrest. (They died as I was in a coma in the hospital.) So I guess you could say that was a pretty crappy day for my family. My recovery from the heart attack was challenging and frustrating, but I very explicitly used the lessons of my quit as I tried to take one day at a time in regaining my strength and stamina and maximizing the efficiency of my remaining healthy heart muscle. I now run regularly and even participate in road races. I'm really proud that I've run 5 half-marathons, 2 ten milers, ten 15Ks and dozens of 10Ks and 5Ks since my widowmaker. (And although I'm pretty slow, I've never stopped or walked in any of those races.).
*****Unfortunately, in mid-2022 I began to experience significant hip pain; after attempting some non-invasive therapies, in late 2022 I had major hip surgery in an attempt to save my hip. The easier option would have been a total hip replacement (and I still may ultimately need that), but given my age (54) and the fact that a prosethetic hip would dramatically reduce my ability to run, we decided to pursue a more complicated surgery involving bone grafts. It's a long and challenging recovery (about six months), but once again I'm trying to use the lessons of my quit to help me through*****
*****That December surgery was not successful. Thus, in June 2023 I had a total hip replacement, which has effectively ended my running career. I'm disappointed, to be sure, and still in the very early stages of recovery and in a lot of pain. But it had to be done. It's been a really challenging year (the hip pain initially developed in October, so I've been in pain and unable to walk for eight months now), but my smoke-free life remains something of which I am enormously proud.******
******Terrible development....Over the last several months, been having increasing pain in the artificial hip (which was replaced 11 months ago), and the surgeon is concerned that I've developed an infection in the hip, a rare but devastating outcome. Getting some testing done this week and next that should confirm things either way, but if it is, indeed, infected, I'm looking at multiple major surgeries and a 9-12 month recovery. As worrying is the fact that a certain percentage of people in my situation actually never clear the infection, leading to amputation or death. It sucks balls.******
By profession, I'm a college teacher, and I love my work. The training for it was interminably long and extremely stressful (and not at all unrelated to the health catastrophe at age 40), but it's an absolute privilege to work with students as they strengthen academic skills and refine professional goals. While I certainly wish I could grown less painfully, there is no question in my mind that I'm a better, more humane educator as a result of the challenges I experienced with quitting in 2001-2 and with my health crisis in 2008.
Interesting fact about me: I've never had a smartphone (and have never sent/received a text), and I expect that I never will. I made the decision to remain phone free after they began to become pretty ubiquitous on the campus at which I work (I dunno...maybe 2008?), and I saw the majority of people--students and faculty alike--hunched over their phones and not experiencing life itself. It just looked so sad to me, and I recognized that I'd probably do the same if I had such a device; thus, I decided to resist and reject them altogether. I do have an old school flip phone in my car for emergencies, but that's it.