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  1. G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required.)
    4 points
  2. Not one puff or Nicotone Patch ever!
    4 points
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  4. G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required.)
    2 points
  5. Hi @Breath-of-Power.... I hear you and can't walk in your skin. I know how difficult it is to live with a smoking partner. BUT... this quit belongs to US and not any significant other or twin brother :):) I had to stop using my partner as an excuse to smoke. How are you doing?
    2 points
  6. You feel this way because it’s an addiction , a very insidious addiction . You have to address this as any other addiction . NOPE … This is what you live by Read all you can here ….
    1 point
  7. Our brains are our worst enemy, when I look back at my early quit it wasn’t as hard as my brain made it out to be . Ifs an addiction … once my junkie brain accepted this … it made it easier …
    1 point
  8. As you are taking stock of your own fears and the "stinking thinking" that reinforces your smoking @Breath-of-Power, check out some of these points. They're excerpted from a column called "Nicodemon's Lies" by John Polito. The whole column is a great read (it can be found here: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/11789-nicodemons-lies-lies-truths/), but I found these fallacies to be especially powerful: OUR LIE: My cigarettes are my friend. THE TRUTH: Friend or master? What kind of "friend" would deprive us of oxygen, take away our ability to smell, burn our clothes, destroy our teeth, harden our arteries, elevate our blood pressure, daily feed us 4,000+ chemical compounds that include arsenic, ammonia, acetone, formaldehyde, butane, massive doses of carbon monoxide, hydrogen cyanide, methane, stearic acid, vinyl chloride, mercury, and lead, together with 81 known cancer causing agents (one of which is created when nicotine breaks down - NNK), before finally killing you with cancer, a stroke, a heart attack or emphysema? Imagine seeing your executioner as a friend. Imagine residing inside a mind that is so sick it is willing to trade 13 years of life for one chemical. OUR LIE: I enjoy smoking. THE TRUTH: This may be the most deeply ingrained rationalization of all as it has a solid basis in the following flawed denial logic. "I don't do things that I don't like to do." "I smoke lots and lots of cigarettes." "Therefore, I must really enjoy smoking," instead of the correct conclusion, "therefore, I must really be chemically addicted to smoking nicotine." Did you enjoy being the unaddicted "you" or have you forgotten what it was like to live comfortably inside a mind that does not crave for nicotine? If you cannot remember what it was like being "you" then what basis do you have for honest comparison? If you truly enjoyed being addicted to nicotine then why are you here reading these words? Is it that you liked smoking or that you liked not having to experience what occurred when you didn't smoke - withdrawal? Studies have long ranked nicotine as a more addictive substance than either heroin or cocaine. In fact, cocaine's generally recognized addiction rate among regular users is 15% while nicotine's addiction rate of over 70% is at least five times as great. Imagine convincing your mind that it " likes " being addicted to the drug that addiction scientists now rank as the most addictive substance on all of planet earth. We are nicotine addicts . A pack a day smoker smokes 7,300 cigarettes each and every year. How many of your last 7,300 nicotine fixes did you really enjoy ? How many of the next 7,300 will bring tremendous joy to your life? Isn't it time to be honest? OUR LIE: My spouse, close friend or family member smokes. I'm waiting for them to quit with me. THE TRUTH: Procrastination recovery denial makes the next puff of toxins easier to suck down. Nicotine tells this junkie that they cannot quit until their friend or loved one quits too as they're around their smoke, smells, cigarettes, breath and ashtrays, and quitting is thus impossible. It's pure denial and often both friends or loved ones use the other as their excuse to remain enslaved. How long will you continue to destroy your body while waiting for someone else to quit with you? A lifetime? If and when they do quit with you, what will you do if they relapse? Will "love" cause you to do the same? One of you needs to stand tall and lead the way. It's okay to have hope for a loved one but you must quit for "you" or it's doomed from the very start. Why make your freedom, health or life dependent upon another person's decision. As for being around smokers, it's unavoidable. Should we expect planet earth's 1.2 billion nicotine addicts to disappear once we commence recovery? Won't we still see them and smell their smoke at restaurants, as they stand around outside stores or even hospitals, or as they puff away in the car beside us? Will all the stores pull-down their cigarette displays or move them from arm's reach just because we're trying to reclaim our mind and life? Why live the lie that "I smoke for love!" OUR LIE: It reduces my stress and helps calm me down. THE TRUTH: This stress buster rationalization is false. The body's pH balance is delicate. Nicotine is an alkaloid and stress an acid producing event. The more stressful the event, the quicker the body's remaining nicotine reserves are neutralized (in the same manner as pouring a baking soda solution on an acid covered car battery terminal). The stressed smoker is thrown into early chemical withdrawal adding additional anxiety to the underlying original stressful event. It's why the anxiety associated with a flat tire causes smokers to reach for a cigarette while the non-smoker reaches for a jack. The anxieties build until the doubly stressed smoker cries out "I NEED A CIGARETTE!" Within eight seconds of the first puff, the smoker's nicotine blood serum nicotine level rises and their withdrawal anxieties subside. The addict is left with the false impression that smoking cured the underlying stressful event when in fact the tire is still flat. All non-smokers experience stress too. The difference is that they don't add early nicotine withdrawal to it. In truth, stress nicotine depletion causes smokers to experience far more anxiety than non-smokers. In truth, it is much easier and calmer being the real "you" than it is living as a chemical slave. OUR LIE: It wakes me up and keeps me alert. THE TRUTH: This dependency rationalization uses a basic truth (nicotine releases adrenaline and a host of other hormones) to hide the fact that nicotine deprives us of the ability to enjoy prolonged periods of deep conscious relaxation. If always at the peak of alertness because we are addicted to and chemically dependent upon a central nervous system stimulant then when do we truly relax? This dependency rationalization also subverts and ignores a host of natural alertness techniques ranging from a simple deep breath to brief periods of stretching or moderately exhilarating activity. Instead of engaging life on life's terms, a powerful puff of nicotine starts a neurochemical chain-reaction that increases breathing rate, accelerates heart rate, constricts blood vessels, elevates blood pressure, causes the liver to release stored cholesterol into the blood stream, the adrenal gland to release glucocorticoids, the thyroid to release metabolism hormones, the hypothalamus to release corticotropin-releasing hormones, a decrease of progesterone levels in females and testosterone in males, digestive tract shut-down, a glucose release into the bloodstream followed by a boost in insulin to metabolize it, pupil dilation, and your blood to thicken. Inside those highly constricted and over-pressurized blood vessels, carbon monoxide eats away at their teflon like lining (endothelium) while nicotine amazingly vascularizes fat buildups, causing arteries to harden. More smokers die from circulatory disease each year than from lung cancer, yet denial kept almost all of them from wanting to know how or why. What goes up must come down. Once the hormones wear off and that drained feeling begins to arrive, a new puff of nicotine again whips every central nervous system neuron in a tired body like some overworked horse never allowed to rest. Alert, yes, but somewhere in that endless cycle between alert and exhausted resides the "real" you. OUR LIE: My concentration is better. THE TRUTH: Vast quantities of carbon monoxide do NOT improve concentration. Although nicotine is a stimulant and does excite certain brain neurons, it also constricts all blood vessels. Feel how cold your fingers and toes get when deprived of blood flow while smoking. Imagine what's happening to the blood vessels in your brain. If nicotine results in a stroke we probably won't need to worry much about concentration. Fresh air and exercise are far healthier brain stimulants. When quitting it's important that you understand the role that nicotine played in regulating blood sugar as its absence may cause the temporary impairment of concentration and clear thinking. If you are experiencing any concentration problems be sure and drink plenty of fruit juice the first three days if your diet and health permit (cranberry is excellent), as it will help stabilize blood sugars. Also don't skip meals! Nicotine released stored fats into our blood and in a sense fed us with every puff, but not anymore. Don't eat more food each day, just spread your normal intake out more over your entire day so that you keep fuel in your stomach and your blood sugar level. OUR LIE: It's something to do with my hands. THE TRUTH: So is playing with a loaded gun and they both have the same potential for harm. This weak addiction rationalization ignores that doodling with a pen, playing with coins, squeezing a ball or using strength grippers may be habit forming but are non-addictive. You might get ink on yourself, rich or strong wrists but your chances of serious injury or death are almost zero. OUR LIE: My coffee won't be the same. THE TRUTH: More junkie thinking! Your coffee's flavor will remain identical. In fact, it may even taste better once your taste buds heal after years of being numbed, coated and poisoned. Your sense of smell may become so refined that you'll smell fresh coffee brewing more than one hundred feet away. Although you don't need to give up your coffee or any thing else except nicotine during recovery, be aware that nicotine somehow doubles the rate ( 203%) by which caffeine is metabolized by the body. As a new ex-smoker you may only need half as much caffeine in order to obtain the same effect. If you are a heavy caffeine user and find yourself experiencing increased anxiety during recovery, or encounter difficulty sleeping, try reducing your intake by roughly half. OUR LIE: There's lots of time left to quit. THE TRUTH: This year tobacco will kill 5,000,000 humans. Roughly 1 in 4 smokers die in middle-age, each an average of 22.5 years early. In order for 22.5 to be the average, how many hundreds of thousands had to die even younger? Maybe you have plenty of time remaining and maybe not. Dying in your thirties or forties is a powerful price to pay for guessing wrong. The numbers above only reflect DEATH by tobacco. You may be lucky enough to be among the millions of nicotine smokers each year who survive and "only" have a heart attack, a stroke, a lung removed, go onto oxygen, or who receive news of permanent lung disease as they for every breath. Which puff, from which cigarette, in which pack, will pull the trigger that fires the gun? The odds of a male smoker dying from lung cancer are 22 times greater than for a non-smoker. His odds of dying from emphysema are ten times greater. How much longer will your luck hold? OUR LIE: It's one of my few pleasures in life. THE TRUTH: Does that mean that it's better than the pleasure of having a throat to deliver fresh air and great food, two lungs with which to laugh, a healthy heart to feel love, or an undamaged mind which dreams of wonderful tomorrows? Pleasure from your addiction or pleasure in committing slow suicide at the hands of a mind that thinks it can only live with the aid of a powerful stimulant? What do they call someone who derives pleasure from self-inflicted harm or who slowly puts themselves to death? Pick your own label. Which nicotine fix out of the last 5,000 was the one that brought you tremendous pleasure? Which cigarette out of the next 5,000 may be the one that sparks permanent damage or disease, or that carries death's eternal flame? If bad news arrives tomorrow will "pleasure" cross your mind? As for Newport type "pleasure," isn't the real pleasure in satisfying our brain's wanting for more? Now imagine the pleasure of going 72 hours without nicotine, the pride of once again residing inside a nicotine-free body and mind! OUR LIE: Dad just died, this isn't the time! THE TRUTH: Smoking won't bring dad back nor cure any other ill in life. Success in quitting during a period of high stress in life insures that future high stress situations will never again serve as the mind's excuse or justification for relapse. If you think about it, if we continue to live we will all see someone we love die. Such is the cycle of life. Sadly, serious illness, injury, or the death of a loved one are some of the most convincing relapse justifications, the best yet sickest excuses of all to get our drug back. I mean, who would dare question our drug use upon our mother's death? There is no better time to quit than before your next mandatory feeding. In fact, two recent studies found that unplanned quitting attempts are twice as likely to succeed as planned ones (picture quitting day anticipation anxieties slowly eating away and destroying resolve before quitting day ever arrives). Why allow finances, work, illness, education or relationships to serve as an excuse to remain an active addict? Once free, there is no legitimate justification for ever putting nicotine back into our body - none, zero, never! OUR LIE: Lots of smokers live until ripe old age. THE TRUTH: They are much rarer than you think. Look around. If you do find old nicotine smokers almost all are in poor health or in advanced stages of smoking related diseases, many with oxygen. Laboring for every breath with lungs on their last leg, is that ripe enough for us? Nicotine smokers tend to think only in terms of dying from lung cancer. Tobacco kills in many ways. For example, circulatory disease caused by smoking kills more smokers each year than lung cancer. How long would George Burns have lived to be if he hadn't smoked cigars, 115, 125? Click here to look at the " truth ". What's wrong with dying healthy from natural causes! OUR LIE: I get bored. It helps pass the time. THE TRUTH: Tobacco does not control any clock on earth but it does control you . For the pack a day nicotine smoker it takes about 30 minutes before their blood serum nicotine level drops to the point where their mind sends them an "urge" of discomfort to remind you that it's time for a feeding. It doesn't matter where they are or what they're doing. Depending upon your daily nicotine requirements, the voice inside your head will let you know when it's time. All you're doing when bored is being alert to what lies ahead, so that you keep topping off your nicotine tank before the next urge arrives. Boredom is supposed to be a positive form of anxiety that motivates us to accomplish a task that hopefully helps preserve life, not destroy it. OUR LIE: It's my choice and I choose to smoke! THE TRUTH: It's a lie and you know it! We lost all "choice" and the ability to simply walk away the day that nicotine feedings became mandatory. The only choices now are to either arrest our dependency or to decide how early and often we'll feed it. As harsh as this sounds, nicotine dependency is a brain wanting disorder, a true mental illness. But the ignorant nicotine addict still believes the "choice" myth pounded into their brain by an endless stream of highly effective tobacco company marketing. All the pretty colored boxes, the displays, the sea of store ads, they make it seem like we can't wait to wake-up each day and run down to the store and try a new brand. Although a well set trap for gullible children and teens who can't wait to become adults, it also makes quitting more challenging than need be. The uneducated smoker likely associates smoking with reading the newspaper, coffee, travel, stress, other smokers, telephone calls, meals, celebrations, romance, or even as a necessary step prior to walking into a store. The educated nicotine addict sees all nicotine fixes as either mandatory, or an early feeding, in order to avoid the onset and discomfort of chemical withdrawal. We smoked after a meal because it was once again time for a nicotine feeding. We smoked before the meal because we didn't know how long eating would last and it isn't polite to eat and smoke at the same time. If your regular feedings are spaced thirty minutes apart, at least every thirty minutes you're going to start sensing growing want for more nicotine regardless of the activity. OUR LIE: I'm only hurting me. THE TRUTH: Have you stopped for even one moment to reflect upon the financial, physical or emotional pain that your needless dying and death will bring your loved ones? Do we care that the deadly byproducts of our addiction have the potential to harm or kill family members, whose only crime was loving us? According to the World Health Organization secondhand smoke contributes to causing lower respiratory tract infections such as pneumonia and bronchitis, colds, coughing, wheezing, worsening of asthma, middle ear disease, cardiovascular disease, and even neuro-behavioral impairment (especially in young children). It also found that maternal smoking or exposure to second-hand smoke during pregnancy is a major cause of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), reduced birth weight and decreased lung function. How much does it cost to attempt to cure mouth, throat or lung cancer? $100,000? $200,000? $300,000? What's the cost of a funeral today and which loved one have you designated to pay the emotional price of making arrangements for your early departure? What about the loss to loved ones of our guidance, our help around the house or any income we contribute? Where will they turn? OUR LIE: It's my right to blow smoke! THE TRUTH: And it's the right of non-smokers and ex-smokers to be free from your smoke too. Social controls to protect the rights of non-smokers are now sweeping the globe. Can a dog's life-span be cut in half by a smoking master? Would you intentionally double the risk of heart attack or triple the risk of lung cancer for a spouse or family member? Why kill the innocent too? Are non-smokers who get extremely upset at having to breathe side-stream smoke simply being obnoxious or are they fighting to protect themselves and those they love from the known harms generated from burning a plant that contains 44 known cancer causing agents and releases 4,000+ chemical compounds when burned? Do you know a child whose mother smoked while pregnant, who does not suffer from some form of impairment today? Look closely. OUR LIE: Quitting causes weight gain and it's just as dangerous. THE TRUTH: This intellectual denial pre-assumes a large weight gain and then makes an erroneous judgment regarding relative risks. Quitting does not increase our weight, eating does. Some assert that metabolic changes associated primarily with the heart not having to work as hard could account for a pound or two but as far as being " dangerous," you'd have to gain at least 75 additional pounds in order to equal the health risks associated with smoking one pack a day. Keep in mind that your general health, physical abilities and lung capacity will all improve dramatically. If patient, you will soon regain the ability to build cardiovascular endurance, and experience up to a 30% increase in overall lung function within 90 days. You'll be able to apply the same mental recovery tools needed to take control of your addiction in shedding any extra pounds, just one pound at a time. Remember, smoking was your cue that a meal had ended. Unless you develop a new healthy cue there may be fewer leftovers. Also keep in mind how easy it would be for a drug addict to use intentional weight gain to a ploy to sabotage recovery. Additionally, nicotine stimulated brain dopamine pathways and so does food. Be careful not to use food as a destructive dopamine replacement crutch. If at all concerned, consider having a supply of fresh fruits and veggies cut up, handy and ready to eat during the 2-3 weeks it takes the brain to restore natural dopamine pathway sensitivities. OUR LIE: It's too late now to heal these lungs. THE TRUTH: Nonsense! While true that each and every puff destroyed more of each lung's roughly 300 million air sacs (alveoli), we were each blessed with millions more than needed to live a full and complete life. It's amazing how much damaged lungs can repair themselves unless disease or cancer has already arrived. Even with emphysema, although destroyed air sacks will never again function, quitting now will immediately halt the needless destruction of additional sacs. You only have two options - decay or heal, including the possibility of experiencing up to a 30 percent increase in overall lung function within 90 days of quitting. If continuing assault by the 81 cancer causing chemicals so far identified in cigarette smoke, which cigarette in which pack contains the spark that gives birth to that first cancerous cell? OUR LIE: I'd quit but withdrawal never ends! THE TRUTH: Hogwash! If you remain 100% nicotine free for just 72 hours your blood will become nicotine free, your withdrawal anxieties will peak in intensity and the number of psychological craves will peak in number. The greatest challenge will be over. Actual physical withdrawal will be complete within 2-3 weeks as the brain re-sensitizes dopamine pathway receptors and down-regulates their numbers to levels seen in non-smokers. During that time you'll encounter and recondition (extinguish) all but remote or seasonal psychological habit crave triggers and begin to witness the gradually diminishing influence of thousands of nicotine replenishment memories, memories that belonged to an actively feeding addict who once again was in need of a fix. If you focus on taking recovery just one hour, challenge and day at a time, before you know it you'll experience your first day of total comfort, where never once do you think about wanting to smoke nicotine. I call it a silent celebration because you probably won't even realize that it has happened until the next day. After the first such day, they grow more and more frequent until they become your new sense of normal. If just starting out, the rich and deep sense of comfort and calm that awaits you is beyond your enslaved mind's ability to comprehension. Why? Because your dopamine pathways, your mind's priorities teacher, have been hijacked, making that next nicotine fix as important as eating food. Food craves, nicotine craves but with one critical difference. Without food we die. Without nicotine we thrive. It's why, although as real as your name, you cannot trust the nicotine wanting message that pounds inside your head, as it is false and is destroying you. OUR LIE: But the craves last for hours! THE TRUTH: Just like the lingering thought of a nice juicy steak, lobster in butter sauce, or fresh baked hot apple pie, you can make yourself "think" about having a cigarette all day long, if that's what you really want to do. Unlike fixating on a conscious thought about smoking, subconsciously cue triggered crave anxiety attacks almost always last for less than 3 minutes. But it's important that you look at a clock and time the crave episode as cessation time distortion (a normal and expected recovery symptom) can make minutes feel like hours. The good news is that most of the anxiety surrounding crave episodes is self induced and thus controllable. Key is in not trying to hide or run from your mind's junkie thinking but exposing it to honest analysis and positive thinking. Strip away all the self-inflicted anxiety and at worst, what remains on quitting day 3 for the "average" quitter is just 18 minutes of true crave anxiety (an average of six craves, each less than three minutes in duration). OUR LIE: I'll quit after the next pack, next carton, next month, my next birthday or New Years. THE TRUTH: Oh really? Can you count on both hands and all your toes how many times you've lied to yourself with such nonsense? And which pack, carton, month or birthday will give you the best chance for success? Forget buying nicotine laden cigarettes by the pack or carton. A case is even cheaper! With the way that cigarette prices are shooting through the roof, you might as well calculate how many it will take to keep you in nicotine for life and buy them all now. The only problem with that is in determining how long you have left to live. How many more pack, carton, birthday and New Year's lies will you tell to yourself? When will they stop? If you continue on your present path, many Birthdays will likely be canceled by a rather early Deathday. You are a true drug addict in every sense and the "wanting" inside your brain is as real as the greatest truth you know. What isn't true is the message, that that next fix is important. Truth is, everything now done under nicotine's influence can be done as well as or better without it. OUR LIE: It's too painful to quit! THE TRUTH: Compared to what? Three days of physical withdrawal (just 72 hours) in no way compares to the pain of months of chemotherapy, lung removal surgery and a two foot scar, a losing battle with throat cancer, years of trying to recover from a serious stroke or massive heart attack, or fighting for every breath through emphysema riddled lungs as you drag oxygen around for the balance of life. If you're really worried about hurt then why continue your daily destruction? OUR LIE: If I quit, I'll just start back again. I always do. THE TRUTH: The truth is that you do not have to relapse. We relapse because we rewrite the Law of Addiction, we forget why we quit, or we invent lies and stupid excuses, such as those that fill this page. Your next quit can be your last but you need to learn how to care for your recovery, while always applying the only rule that you'll ever need to obey - to NEVER TAKE ANOTHER PUFF! OUR LIE: I'll cut down or quit and smoke just one now and then. THE TRUTH: It's every addict's dream, to control the uncontrollable. You are addicted to a substance that is five times as addictive as powdered cocaine (15% vs. 75%). You may be strong enough to cut back but so long as nicotine continues to arrive you'll remain hooked, the decay will continue, and as studies suggest, even though smoking less your health risks will remain almost unchanged. If you were a pack-a-day nicotine smoker and after quitting you decide to smoke just one cigarette, you might as well get ready to smoke the other 7,300 for the year too as full and complete relapse is virtually assured. The Law of Addiction is simple - just one puff of new nicotine and it's over. Brain scans show that up to 50% of dopamine pathway receptors become occupied by nicotine within eight seconds of the first puff. While roughly half walk away from relapse totally convinced that they've gotten away with smoking just once, they've saturated and de-sensitized dopamine pathway receptors and will soon find their brain begging for more. You see, as permanent as alcoholism, once hooked we somehow stay hard wired for relapse for the balance of life. Although recovery allows the brain time to heal and function normally again the tracks of addiction remain. We cannot cure or kill our disease. Once free, we remain on probation for the balance of life. OUR LIE: OK, I'm going to stop. Now I can enjoy my smokes until then! THE TRUTH: If you've done this more than once, isn't it just more junkie head games? This addict wants to feel good about smoking nicotine and they've learned that by saying that they're going to quit, that they make themselves feel better even though deep down they know that it's probably just another lie! Unless something awakens this addict, there may never be a serious quit in their future. OUR LIE: I've got to die of something! THE TRUTH: True, but if you knew that tomorrow morning at 9:22 a.m. a massive smoking induced stroke would bring your life to an abrupt end, and you'd die on a cold floor with a cigarette beside you - just as tens of thousands of smokers are found each year? Would you light that last cigarette at 9:21 a.m. and pull the trigger that kills you? Is this one of your primary use rationalizations? Look around at all the smokers you see today. The death certificates of half will read, "cause of death - smoking." Yes, they had to die of something but not an average of more than 5,000 days early. Have you met Noni, Bryan, Deb and Kim? Would any non-addicted human spend each and every day of the remainder of their life intentionally destroying more of their body's ability to receive and transport life giving oxygen? Would they continue doing so until physical exercise was no longer an option, or until this mental illness called dependency forced others to begin caring for us, as they watch us struggle just to suck oxygen from tanks and machines? Which family member have you prepared to be your care giver? Try to imagine what it's like to breathe through a straw? It's called emphysema. Why not find a straw and give it a try. What has nicotine done for you lately?
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  9. Each quit is unique. I found some of Allen Carr's ideas to resonate with me, but others did not. Like Gene said, take what works and leave the rest. Harvest information that's useful, but don't dwell on things too much - or they will turn into rationalizations to keep smoking. I also +1 @Genecanuck's comment about overthinking things. I spent years pondering why I smoke, building elaborate mental frameworks to try and understand the behavior, looking for schemes that would make withdrawal less difficult, etc. The only thing that yielded was a lot of procrastination. The thing is, while we are still smoking, OUR BRAIN IS HIJACKED. Our addiction is in control. It knows how to manipulate our thoughts into thinking that we want to smoke, need to smoke, enjoy smoking, etc. I've always considered myself to be a highly rational person, but I am coming to believe that intellectual frameworks are perhaps not our first or best tool for quitting. Quitting requires a leap of faith - a willingness to take the plunge into the unknown. I think we start our quits with our hearts and souls. (Because deep down, everyone's soul yearns for freedom from the bondage of addiction.) Then we keep our quits with our minds and our wills. When you're ready to take that leap @Breath-of-Power, we'll be here.
    1 point
  10. stzr500 Quit Date: 02/24/2017 Posted March 10, 2018 Hello, I just want to start off stating that Feb 24th was my first year smoke free. I just want to give a bit of insight on how things went and are still going. This may be a bit in length but to totally understand it has to be, sorry. I came home that night on the 24th after I said goodbye to my daughter whom was off to rehab for her own addiction. I said if she can do it so can I even after 30 years of smoking. Putting these down is nothing compared to what she was about to go through with her opioid addiction. She is now 21 just starting life. Get into that later. Anyway the first three days were out of this world. Can't really explain them but very nausea and little to no sleep. To be honest I really can't remember all of it because i think it was so horrible my brain just won't let me go back there but visions have me so scared I will never pick up a nicotine product again. Then came the end of the week and onto week two...pretty smooth feeling better and now getting 5-6 hours of sleep a night. Week three was it...anxiety anxiety anxiety like my world just caved in on me. It was to the point of what they call derealisation where nothing seemed real to me. I only ever had it happen to me once before when I got high with marijuana with my cousin. Thank God it ended after my high ended. Anyway guess what this time it didn't....here we go full blown panic..omg ...what am I going to do I can't handle this feeling, I'm going crazy this cannot be happening to me. Why won't it stop ...did I do permanent brain damage from smoking cigarettes all these years...so on and so on my brain was in full overdrive. You name the most horrible sensations I could feel and trust me I felt them. I need to call the doctor I need to do something...then I thought what's the worse thats going to happen..I may pass out and shit then I won't need to worry cause I will be out like a light. Guess what I wasn't blessed with that pleasure ...as soon as it would get close to that point it would back off. This went on for weeks. I went to counseling and it was what I figured and what the doc said anxiety at it's worse, whats going on. Here's where it gets good. To start off my quit was never planned, just shot from the hip and did it. Along with the anxiety came the complete opposite depression so bad it dropped me to my knees in tears at times. NO JOKE. Never have I felt so empty inside and lost. To start it all off I lost my mother 4 1/2 years ago and never really dealt with it. When she passed from liver cancer I grieved and had lots of smokes. Two weeks after she passed I settled the estate with smokes. 3 months later we bought a new home. Another month later I was promoted to be an Engineer for my job. Smokes like a chimney for that cause if I didn't pass I was out of a job. I passed by the way thank God. Anyway shortly after that I remember bringing the train to a stop at a red signal and having a panic attack. WTH is wrong with me I though....smoking that's it I quit. The very next day was the day and the day our daughter got her help. Through counseling and talking with others here is how it is for me. I did everything with a cigarette from the time I was 17 to 47. I mean everything ...sorry about this but after sex was the best one even better than the one with coffee in the morning. Drinking, socializing,sadness,stress...I did everything with a cigarette it was my best friend and my biggest crutch. See I am not a casual smoker or a smoker who smokes just because it makes them feel good, I am a smoker who smoked because everything in my life revolved arround smoking and I had to have it. Smokes cured me of everything...I would say FK it and light one up. Now I put them away and my world just came crashing down upon me like I never in my life experienced. Also my wife had an affair during all this because I was never home always working and just not paying attention to her. Talk about the final blow. This happened May of last year for a month and a half it went on. I found out confronted the both of them and about kicked her ass to the curb and bought a pack of smokes. I packed them and opened them and took one out. Looked at myself and said really, really ..fk this. Put it back in the pack and gave them to my wife and told her she may need these more than me at this point in time. So lets review...mother passed away....never really mourned her loss because it was to painful put many other things first. Promotion at my job. Wife affair and daughter hooked on heroin all in the past 2 years of my mother passing. Summary.....when I put the smoked down I was literally hit by everything I ignored and pushed to the side and hid with a cigarette. Here it is a year later and I will say things are better on the home front. Wife and I worked things out. She is my best friend and I pushed her away like a fool. Daughter, well she is back in detox as of yesterday and will try it all over again. This is just the tip of things in my life. What I really am trying to say is everyones quit is unique and personal. Be true to yourself you are a lot braver that what you think you are. You will walk through the gates of hell on your quit there is no doubt about it but just remember you will come out on top. I am not going crazy nor did I do permanent brain damage from smoking..lmao. What I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover. All addicts do this thats why its an addiction. I still have bouts of depression and anxiety. I am learning a whole new lifestyle. Think about it you are literaley changing your lifestyle without nicotine and its scary but it can be fun sometime. I like waking up and smelling my wifes perfume that wore off on the pillow rather than stinky smoke that wore off my hair. For those who read this thank you for taking the time to read it..I let out a bunch of personal things in my life but if you can't speak the real, then there is no sense in saying anything. I cannot give a time frame on when you should feel better from quitting but I feel fantastic at times and other times physically great but still an emotional train wreck. Hills and valleys but one day it will level out, because you will achieve goals and set a new future that you can look back upon without a cigarette. I won't say good luck because it's not about luck...IT ABOUT YOU AND YOUR WILL. My family is why !! Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/9913-my-storyhope-it-helps/
    1 point
  11. Head Over Heels: Tears For Fears
    1 point
  12. Good morning @Breath-of-Power.... One bug a boo I have is that I sometimes overthink things. And the quitting process is much like that. You will hear and read lots of sage advice about how to quit and how do deal with the challenges of the quitting processs. You have to start somewhere and the best approach is to pick a date, stop and then then take it one minute, one hour, one morning and one day at a time. Put smoking in your rear view mirror a bit at a time and continue to read and post here. And take what you need from all the advice you hear and read, and leave the rest. But don't let various perpesptives that dont work for you offer an excuse for you to keep smoking. That is still junkie thinking. Remember that your addicted brain will always find reasons to keep smoking. Thats junkie thinking. You can do this @Breath-of-Power Kind Regards, Gene
    1 point
  13. Ok I will stick to this forum. I am always thinking about smoking somehow, even if I am not aware of it, otherwise how could I explain that I keep on smoking. But somehow i am embarassed by my thoughts and so i dont usually post. Anyone ever heard of the internal dialogue? The chattering of the mind. My internal dialogue is like this: ' i want so stop smoking but I cant stop smoking but I need to smoke before i go do *something* but I shouldnt smoke before doing such... ' it throws a lot of 'buts' in there, that cause doubts.
    1 point
  14. Back to work with a NOPE!!
    1 point
  15. "..what I did do was close responses to normal dopamine that take time to heal and recover...." Yes. I, too, found quitting to be a deeply disorienting experience. To this day, I firmly believe that smoking scorched my brain chemistry. By force-feeding nicotine to my dopamine receptors, I desensitized them to other signals. Now that I have quit, I need to rebuild the neural pathways that allow me to experience other sensations of gratification and fulfillment. The path is slow and circuitous at times... but healing does happen.
    1 point
  16. OK, this time you aren't going to have a failed quit! Keep telling that to yourself! NO MORE FAILED QUITS!! You can do it Gene, just DON'T SMOKE!! Not easy, I know, but 100% doable as all of us here are proof. Keep coming on here like you are and you will succeed. I truly believe this site has helped me not to light up again. We will always be addicts that's why we need to be here. You are over the two month mark and things will start to get easier at this point, at least for me they did. I found that the urges weren't as frequent or as strong at that point in my quit. The longer you stay quit, the urges will get less and less in both frequency and strength. So hang in there Gene, you are doing great!!!
    1 point
  17. Thanks @QuittingGirl... I have just had so many failed quits that I know I can't take things for granted.
    1 point
  18. Hi @Genecanuck, I know you will do this right because you come on here mostly every day, and you are so determined!! I see that. I just hope you see it as well!!
    1 point
  19. Hello again @Breath-of-Power .. here is another perspective on Indiginous peoples relationship with tobacco and how misusing tobacco causes addiction... and the pathway to re-establish a healthy relationship with tobacco. Just some food for thought: https://tobaccowise.cancercareontario.ca/en/first-nations#:~:text=The person who wishes to,use in the wrong manner. And here is a quote form the this Indigenous Tobacco Program that describes their approach to help people deal with the negative impacts of commercial tobacco. Note the use of the word "Commercial Tobacco" ..... "Our work focuses on respectfully informing First Nations, Inuit, Métis and urban Indigenous communities and individuals about the negative health impacts of commercial tobacco. We use positive approaches to addressing post-colonial tobacco use and work with communities to help raise awareness of the risks of commercial tobacco and the dangers of the tobacco industries’ targeted marketing campaigns, particularly to youth".
    1 point
  20. Hello @Breath-of-Power.... I hope you are doing ok and finding a way to keep yourself motivated to keep your quit. One thought I had when I read some of your posts was that you were struggling. Struggling with the rational side of your brain that still wanted to keep your quit. But I also saw you start to give yourself permission to smoke again before you actually started smoking. I know that internal argument because I have been there. That is when a relapse really begins. When you start to dismiss other rational arguments that you are no different than any other person who has managed to quit. That somehow, it is harder for you than all other smokers or quitters. That somehow, the natural laws of addiction and the quitting process do not apply to you. That your pain and suffering is different than all other smokers and quitters. But I also saw you stick with the Quittrain and keep the conversation going with people who were trying to support you. In my mind, that is evidence that your desire to stop smoking again was stronger than your irrational brain that was trying to give you permission to smoke. Please take a step back @Breath-of-Power.... and examine your reasons for wanting to stop smoking in the first place. That is where you will get your mojo back to jump right back on the Quittrain and get your quit back on track.
    1 point
  21. "All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident." - Schopenhauer Substitute truth for quit and you have the three psychological stages of a quit.
    1 point
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QuitTrain®, a quit smoking support community, was created by former smokers who have a deep desire to help people quit smoking and to help keep those quits intact.  This place should be a safe haven to escape the daily grind and focus on protecting our quits.  We don't believe that there is a "one size fits all" approach when it comes to quitting smoking.  Each of us has our own unique set of circumstances which contributes to how we go about quitting and more importantly, how we keep our quits.

 

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