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G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required).

Went to sleep. Slept about 5 hours. Drank a litre of water with electrolytes. Taking another dose of the prescription med and back to sleep, if I can. Realized I felt warm. Temp is almost 2 degrees above my normal (I run cool, about 97.5). Checked my email, and there is a notice that someone at work just reported they have Covid. Perhaps part of this is not feeling well due to a virus, whether Covid or not. Thanks one and all. I live quietly, with only my son and daughter for society. I am grateful for The 'Train to turn to about smoking challenges. It means a lot. Have a good week, one and all.

NOPE, count me out too.

@Kate18 this too shall pass, be strong and do what ever you have to not to smoke, you are doing great and we all support you!

Hoping that you are benefiting from some well-deserved ZZZs, Kate. Sleep deprivation absolutely messes with our emotional and physical equilibrium as well as our judgement. Do what's needed to get a couple of nights under your belt. I, too, suffer from insomnia. I haven't found any magic solutions, but avoiding sugar and caffeine after 1 pm, 1/2 a unisom an hour before bed, practicing good sleep hygiene (especially around screen time), and audiobooks (both to drown out tinnitus and soothe/distract me while awake) keep me out of the red zone most of the time. Definitely talk to your doctor. You know in your heart that smoking would NOT help you sleep, would harm your mental and emotional wellbeing, and would trigger its own shame and despair cycle. You've shut the door on all that, for good reason. Keep it shut, dear. COVID may have been your final tipping point, but there are probably 100 additional reasons that you've STAYED quit. If those reasons start to get hazy when you're coping with a bipolar swing, right them down on paper in big, bold, print, and read them aloud. I've resorted to that a few times. Please take good care and keep us posted on how you're doing. You have a team of supporters here on the Train who have faith in you and are here to support you, just like you've supported so many of us. Sending you love and fortitude.

Ahhh sorry Kate Like Maryland said though.... 'Temporary' Nicotine & smoking don't have any benefit at all. You've done excellent!!! Don't lose it know I know it's very tough (understatement) I once read somewhere feelings and thoughts will always come, so let it come don't try fight it, sit it out. I'd just wait to here from the psychiatrist in the morning. Your going to be fine I'd try anything Kate if it means not smoking whether chocolate, crisps , a bath, a film, anything. won't be long till the morning. Remember your the boss!!!

@Kate18, as we know someone will make all kinds of excuses to keep using nicotine. We've all been there. You were smart to come here and post instead of believing that podcaster. Now go get some rest!

NOPE -Not One Puff Ever. Life is much better without cigarettes.

NOPE!

Nope for me Hope you've all been keeping well

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Nope...not me

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Hi Kate18, As others have said, smoking will surely make things worse, definitely with what you're currently going through. Remember, this moment is only temporary and even though we're spread out all over the place, you're never truly alone.

Sorry i am late kate .. Glad jillar was here to help you through this desperate time .. You daughter sounds like she is a Good support when you need it . Pmease dont lose your wonderful quit ..you have worked so hard to come this far . Are you still a part of the group you found ..if so please reach out ... After your slerp i hope you are feeling better Please lean on us if you need support .. Wishing you better times ahead Sweetie ..XX

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Stunning. We need a "WOW" emoticon. NOPE

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Kate .. Sleep can only be a good thing . Listen to your body .. Smoking ..is good for nothing .. Keeping your quit is the one thing ,you know is right .. Yes i was also on the QSMB . Hang in there XX

Thanks, @RhinoDragon. I'm 3+ years into a quit and this is by far the worst temptation point. It isn't the smoking cravings, it's the craving for sleep. And relief of bipolar depression. I have a text to my psychiatrist in place, to which she will respond tomorrow, likely. Some well-intending podcaster suggested that nicotine helps with this. Going to drug myself to sleep to get past this. Thanks for your kind reply. I appreciate it.

All you've got to think Kate is once you've had 1 the feeling will come back again, and again, and again and it will ... Unless YOU Stop it. Then it Will slowly go away till eventually you won't get any feelings again. just try get to day 9 then 10 before you know it'll be day 30. Trust me. The only way to do that is to not have one hence our NOPE - I know it's hard but you only have to do it once. Your at a brilliant amount of days not smoking - Also a critical point, another week or two tops you'll not get a crave, and if you did it would be a very mild thought only. Keep strong Rhino - nice to meet you btw

Glad your daughter was there for you @Kate18, have a nice sleep and I hope you feel better once you're refreshed. Good job posting and saving your awesome quit!

Thanks, Jillar. I just got off the phone with my wonderful daughter. You're right about the tools to quit when it finally worked. I quit because of Covid. I was pretty sure that if I were a smoker and got Covid, it'd die of lung congestion. That was during the pre-USA presence of Covid, but I was sure it was coming to our shores. My daughter pointed out that when I don't get enough sleep, I get weak-willed and feel hopeless. She's right. I'm so sleep deprived. It's a consequence of bipolar gene mutations related to the circadian rhythm. The Sleep Clinic was next to useless. All the advice I already had online from sleep researchers. I do them all. I've tried addressing bipolar depression/anxiety/insomnia with a ketogenic diet and strict carb restriction, but it also brings intense carb cravings AND insomnia. Sleep deprivation erodes the will power to resist carbs. And carbs bring back depression. I'm so tired of this. My daughter suggested I just drug myself right now, at 10 in the morning, and get some sleep so that I don't cave to either the craving for cigarettes or alcohol. Good advice. Thanks for responding, Jillar. I really appreciate it. I'm going to take my sleep med and go back to sleep. Have a good week.

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