Well, here we are another day, Christmas Eve, there are many we have lost along the way. I am here on my one alone, besides the 3 pups that fill my home and my heart every day. I have talked to the son, no, I will not be going to his house for Christmas day. I did speak to my grandson to let him know that I have his present and will get it to him soon.
I do not like the holidays anymore! I have had my glory days and prefer to keep my sad face and tears to myself. Just because I may be in pain doesn't mean I get to ruin the day for others. I really do not mind being alone. I still do all the things, I made the cookies, cooked a ham and lasagna. Have all the traditions we used to do as a family except there is no tree, no lights on the house. Some of you may think that is sad, do not, I was blessed with a loving husband and family.
My home is mortgage free, my son is a happy, sucessful young man, married with his own young family. I like to think that my husband, who passed 12 years ago, and I still got it all done just as we planned. I maybe here without him but his love and hard work has given me and our son a good life, no worries and the same security, protection he would have provided if he were still alive.
Just passing this on, to appreciate life, to really understand how much you have been given. It all started long ago when there was no room in the inn. Joseph and Mary were allowed to take lodging in the manger. There was a bright star that night that led the wisemen to the place of our saviour's birth. For on that night a child was born "God's only begotten son" that was given to all of us. From that birth until this day, every child is born with God's grace. What a gift we have been given.
Yes, yes, I do ramble on at times. I still struggle every day. I would like a cigarette right now. At least the struggle is worth it!!