Hi Kris--
I felt very much like you during my first 14 months or so. I don't doubt that there are quitters who, for whatever reasons, have a rough couple of weeks and then smoking and thoughts of smoking are entirely in the rear view mirror. But that wasn't me: I'll never forget a terrible day at about the 11 month mark in which, on two separate occasions, I had an unlit cigarette in my mouth, matches in my hand, and tears running down my face. Throughout these months, I couldn't help but think at (many?) times that there must be something wrong with my quit if I'm feeling so crappy for so long. My 1 year anniversary post (on a different site) was all about accepting (and even embracing) the messy, unpleasant, and irascible quit.
I've never really been a big proponent, on a personal level, of the importance of "changing your mindset"--whenever I attempted to do that, it felt fundamentally artificial and inauthentic. It's not unrelated, perhaps, to my distaste (to put it mildly) for the insights of Allen Carr and his "easy" way. I think for some of us--and you might be in this category--the quit just needs time, and it benefits from realizing that every single day without a puff is a WIN, regardless of how one feels (though I guess I could be accused of encouraging my own kind of "change in mindset" there). That's not to say that I think it's impossible to mitigate symptoms; however, for me, those things were mostly physical--doing things that were consistent with and supported my non-smoking persona. At some point I just gave up (productively, I think) trying to think about the quit in a new way.
I'll leave you with what I think is the most important thing: that regardless of how difficult and interminably long the challenges felt, the transformative freedom that I ultimately achieved was absolutely stunning and so much more profound than I imagined. And that's waiting for you as well. I sometimes wonder, in fact, whether--at least for me--there's a relationship between my sustained misery and the durability and deep meanings of my quit. I don't know, but I do know that I haven't had a single craving (or even a passing thought of smoking) in about 19 years, something I most certainly couldn't have anticipated in those first 14 months. That may or may not happen to you, and the fact that my cravings seem to have been completely extinguished (though I'll always remain vigilant) doesn't make my quit any stronger or better than someone who experiences an occasional twinge. But I think I can guarantee you that you'll experience a kind of freedom that will astound you. While you might think that's easy for me to say at this point, I assure you that I'll never forget that frustrating, frightening stretch during which I felt like the thoughts of smoking would never cease. They did, and they will for you, too, friend.
And, most importantly, today was a WIN because you were smokefree.
Wishing you the best,
Christian99
Nearing 21 Years Quit