@Kel, just going back and reading your post again, back in the day! The great 80's, when the money flowed, when my son was born, when all the people I love were here on this earth. We were young, having fun, traveling, going to parties and enjoying our youth. I did quit smoking once I knew I was pregnant. We had been told by doctors that was not going to happen, miracles do happen, and it was the greatest gift of my life.
Lord knows we are going through a trying time, I just gave up on the boxes of tissues. they could not keep up with my years. Now I just carry around a roll of tissue to mop up the mess of my tears. I can't say yet that the worst days are behind me as I still crave, I still want to smoke but it is just not something I can do any more for health reasons. I have now after all these years have accepted the reality that if I want to enjoy my older years I have to do this. Am I happy about it, no, not yet but I will be. I will get extra time with my son and grandchildren. What more motivation do I need. None.