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Thanks to everyone for your well wishes and support. Special thanks to Dorren for posting a picture of my husband. You are all great source of comfort and peace. I will not lie, for me the battle is still raging but the truth is we are all doing we thought was impossible. We are doing these with the support of people we have never met. It strikes me as sad and odd that so often our families, friends never tell us (me) that they are proud, that we (me) are doing great. I know that is my fault as I have pushed everyone away for various reasons. I think that prepared me for quiting. It is something that I can do for me. It has been along time since I put me first but here I am at 62, putting me first. That is what I have to say today, realize that sometimes you have to put yourself and your health first. You should be doing this for you and only you. I shall never be young again but I can have productive, happy, healthy years to do things I enjoy that matter to me. I have come to know myself without obligation to others and who they think I should be, I get to choose and so do you. Be your best self, do the things that bring you joy, peace, let the rest of it go. Love and best wishes! K

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required paperbarks

#truth I’ve lived my whole life by this rule. A shame that I didn’t see any issue with smoking. I was still able to remain active. I have always been in great shape and I’ve maintained the same weight for at least 30 years. I could still play sports and run. Smoking wasn’t a problem for me. Until I couldn’t bear the smell anymore. Until I started watching my sister’s health decline so drastically and now she has COPD among other major issues. Until I quit. Until I was forced to admit that ‘I’ am an addict. Then it was a problem. But it was always a problem. I just refused to see it as such. I honestly would just deal with the withdrawals from smoking first and then when you are comfortable with that you can start the dietary changes. A whole lot of walking, water, and cold cranberry juice worked wonders for me during my initial quit and from all that I have read on here they did the same for a whole lot of other people too. You are doing great on keeping your quit!

NOPE…

NOPE

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOPE…

Congratulations on another month quit @Kris, they're really adding up now! Hope you have a great day

Welcome back aboard the Quit Train Darcy. The cycle of constantly craving a cigarette. Then smoking and regretting it. Then constantly thinking of quitting again... It all begins to feel mentally exhausting and futile. There is a way to end the cycle for good: commit to the quit. Make it through the early challenges and eventually smoking becomes a distant memory.

@jillarthere in lies the problem I face. If I focus solely on quitting the cigs and indulging in everything else then the problems of bloating and weight gain get so severe I can't move. I'm beginning to believe that smoking masked a lot of food addictions/reactions and I may have backed myself into a corner where I have to fight all of it at the same time. I'll give the little peppermint puffs a try and see how I react to them. I'm definitely drinking enough water but fruit juice is something I haven't been able to tolerate in years. It will be interesting to see how things progress. In the meantime, know that I appreciate you and Kris and Linda and Gus chiming in and supporting me through a rough patch. I love you all for that and can't thank you guys enough. May you all be richly blessed.

No harm Maybe fowl Butt dial

I am with @jillar Everyone fights more than one demon. Sometimes it is a physical thing, smoking, drinking, over eating. Sometimes emotional, whatever it is just take the time to really feel and understand. We all have to figure it out our own. You will feel better as we come to know whom we are and what we deserve. We all deserve the best. It will be okay, just do not force it, it is okay to go one step at a time.

@intoxicated yoda, maybe you're trying to give up too much too soon and that's what's throwing your system off so badly? We usually recommend focusing on just one big thing at a time. I know quitting caffeine abruptly can cause constipation. Oddly for me once I got farther and farther into my quit the less coffee I drank. I used to only drink two cups a day but now I'm lucky to get a whole cup down. Also, are you drinking enough water? How about fruit juice? You could also suck on candy instead of eating junk. I was stuck on soft peppermint puffs my entire first year and they were only about 20 calories each. Hopefully, you'll be right by Thanksgiving but if not this one then you will by sure be by next year. Use all this suffering to cement your quit. And each time you feel you may cave to a crave come back and read this thread so you can remind yourself how you DON'T want to have to go through this again!

I have a land line for my FAX and my internet, Then I have a cell phone my wife had surgically implanted. ouch!

@Linda I am sorry to hear you are not feeling well. I agree, it is so frustrating when doctors can not figure out what is going on. I have been there to many times to count. You just feel defeated, that you do not even want to go see them because you never feel better. @Rozuki I am sorry to hear about your fall. Those are the type of things we all worry about as we get older. I have been lucky that all of mine have been in the house and not as serious as your injuries. Note to all, if you are going out for a walk and frankly for anything else do not leave leave your phone. That is why I don't do those things, I don't have a phone. I must be one of the only people in America that has a land line. Feel better soon!!! @jillar thinking of you and your special love today! I went out to the store this morning and the dogs acted like I had been gone a week. People think you just get over losing a beloved family(pet) member but that is not the case. The grief continues for a long time. I know you are still hurting and send you only good thoughts. It will be awhile yet but if you heart is open another may come to fill it with joy once again. K

Great words of wisdom @Kris We are all proud of you!!!

NOPE!

Hi Darcy. I was gonna beat up on you but you seem to be doing the job good enough. I know it's tough. There is that feeling of loss that you can't get that time back, But the reality is the past is gone and no longer is. The future isn't here and hasn't yet become. All that is is now. Live in the moment and quit for just that moment. No guilt, no shame, just be. You can do it.

Welcome back Darcy ... No time for shame ...this is your life ...never give up...trying to give up... We are all addicts have have been where you are .... Take your seat ....reread all you can here ....learn,learn learn .... Take on board where your last try went wrong and learn by it ... Those who stay close to the board ,post often,are more likely to succeed... Take our daily pledge ...it can be a massive help ....

Darcy! I know the shame well. And without speaking for everyone else (although I think I can), we all feel this way until we don't. Today is a new day. Glad you are back.

Nope!!!!

NOPE!

There in lies the problem. We all have to say that everyday, at least I do. I say that everyday and I am tired of it. Do I have problems, yes, but I can only be responsible for me. I can't fix everything for anyone if I don't fix my own first. Right now, the goal is my quit, have I gained weight, you bet. Do I feel bloated and tired. Also true, but the most important thing is to quit smoking. That is my biggest health issue. I do feel physically better, I can breath which means I will be able to be more active, that will help the weight issue. You need to appreciate what you are doing for your self. Remain committed to the goal. I am 5 months in and the hand to mouth thing is passing and the weight is slowly going down. Now that the weather is cooler, I will start taking small walks. Keep in mind that I am still recovering from a hip replacement. You are doing great, even if you don't feel great right now. It will get better the more time that passes. I have found that to be true but I did not believe it at the beginning. Everyday does make a difference, keep going!!

Run to it @Boo, these are the best years ever. Put up everything, decorate floor to ceiling (as long as baby girl can't get at it). Plan nightly rides in the car to take little Miss and Sugar Britches out to look at lights in the neighborhood. Get home and make hot chocolate or some special treat. We made it a holiday tradition. You too can create your own Christmas Vacation for future generations. They will remember and love every minute!! K

Project Winter Wonderland is now all systems go here at Boo Acres. Christmas decorations have been sorted. Strings of lights have been tested. The logistics of the operation have been planned. Beginning early on Friday morning (day after Thanksgiving) we are going for ridiculous levels of holiday cheer here. Having a one year-old gives me a perfect excuse for over-the-top decorating.

nope

I have said in previous posts the we have to be aware of train robbers. This time for you, there must have been a gang. They stormed upon you waving guns and demanding submission and everything you hold dear. They are the enemy, trying to tell you that you are not in charge. That they hold in their hands the key to your future. They tried to rob you of not only your worldy goods, but your family and your freinds. They want you to feel weak, afraid and submissive. The Nicotine Gang does not care about you. They want to only pillage your bank account, spend your money, time with doctors and make you plead on your knees for a breath. What they fail to know is that you have your own gang, that will fight them to keep you safe. Your quit train is here to protect you, just call on them if there is any danger. They are here 24 hours a day. I know this to be true as I am living it!! Let the train take you to safety.

@Opah I am glad she had it surgically implanted. I just hope it was not on your butt. When cell phones were new my husband would butt dial me and it would cost a fortune. We had many a fuss over that. I was running a budget and did not appreciate the charges even if he had a cute butt! Always remember to call. I never had a problem with the hubs stopping to have a beer with the boys or seeing his folks. I just wanted to know he was okay. He always worked really hard to provide. I told everyone I did not worry where he was, he would be home when he was tired or hungry. Most of the time he was at his folks, doing yard work and cleaning the pool. I was a lucky gal.

Ol' yoda got a little story to tell. Yep, I'm back to being Andy DuFresne crawling through shit today to get to freedom. I had been doing pretty good then one little moment of weakness and a half a bag of Cheetos later put me right back in the bad place. Bloated up like bull frog, cravings almost as bad as they've ever been and almost 4 lbs of something reattached itself to my ass. The focus and clarity I was starting to get is gone and the energy I was beginning to feel has also left. So what's the moral to the story. The cleaner I eat the easier the quit. It's easier to stay healthy than to get healthy. Hopefully I don't suffer for weeks for this but if that's the punishment then I'll just have to take it on the chin and keep going. I know come Thanksgiving I'll most likely ruin myself again but these are the choices we make. The silver lining is I haven't smoked. Even though I thought about it I never really viewed it as an option. Maybe getting over the addiction to sugar and carbs is replacing the cravings for nicotine. I don't know. Maybe it's like what women used to say about relationships...the best way to get over and old lover is to get under a new one. Not sure how that relates to a man and his addictions but whatever. I hope everyone else is having an awesome weekend. I do get strength and conviction from seeing all you good people succeed. Let's me know I can do it too and for that I thank and love you all. Peace

Hey Darcy! Utilize the train! It works! Time and time again. Being an addict sucks. You can build your quit again and QuitTrain can only make the foundation more solid. See you around.

@Kris Your not the only one with a land line, I do too But I do have a cell too

Great quit you’ve got going Kris! I remember your first couple of weeks on here and wow, you were really having a rough time, but look at you now! Keep the quit and I am so proud of you for persevering!

Sounds like a gopher hole, right foot fell in and stuck then the face plant, hands out trying to stop the face plant but then the right foot twisted free and dropped the entire weight down. I am sure your Pup was just given you love crying cause she/he knew you were hurt. Best advice I can give is to not listen to any good jokes with a fat lip, that laugh or smile will hurt like hell. I had a manager named Bill he was an X Gunny Sargent well he had a massive heart attack, and when we were passing around the card that people were having an issue signing I read from Rod to Bill See you did it ! You proved them all wrong, you do have a heart !

Congrats! I'm sticking right behind you.

G’day rozuki sending some prayers your way. Hears to your healing in both mind and body

Hi @darcy, welcome back aboard. Sorry you caved to a crave and gave away your quit but you're back now and have learned that as addicts we have to adhere to NOPE! Use us to your advantage, please, that's why we're here. We want to help you achieve your forever quit. So maybe post SOS if you feel your quit is in jeopardy so we can try to help you past it next time As far as your ticker goes, I deleted your old one for you and here's the link to make one with screenshots so you won't have to get so frustrated hopefully when you're ready to make a new one. https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15042-creating-a-ticker/ Glad to have you back

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required flame tree

NOPE

How scary, @Rozuki! I pray that PT is able to get you back to 100% quickly. I used to not carry my phone with me if I was outdoors and still close to my house but, I started carrying it with me 100% of the time now. I’m sure it’s driving you nuts not knowing what actually happened. I feel for you. I had an episode similar to that a couple of years ago. Scary and not knowing the why or how still bugs me to this day.

NOPE!

Been MIA all week. Bad news is.. My family all had a bad flu. Good news is...we all tested negative for covid. And best news.... I'm still smoke free and we're all feeling much better! Absolutely nope!

NOPE

@Boo give Pumpy ( Sugar Britches gave him a hat) and beard. Go to the thrift store and buy him an ugly christmas sweater. Put some fake wrapped presents at his feet, candy canes in his hands and change his name to Crumpy, the christmas scarecrow. Tell little Miss Boo he is Santa's friend waiting to see him. K

NOPE

Hell no @Opah Yuck!!!

I have two land lines so I have you all beat! Thank you for the kind words Kris

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Riding the Clutch...

So true @KEL. Guarding my quit because I am keeping it!

In recovery, they tell us (or used to tell us) to quit what was going to kill us first. I sensed that nicotine wasn't really considered in the same life-threatening category as my drug of choice booze. Why? Well, its unlikely you would mow down an innocent while driving smoking. I believe this attitude did me a disservice all of these years because of the fact that I saw it as an aid to not drinking which allowed me to continue the slow-poison. When I did finally try to stop, it was so hard because, unlike booze, I could smoke and function at work, etc. In fact, it seemed to "help" me deal with life without booze. Yet for me, as for all of us, it was slowly sucking the life out of me. "Today, your goal should be to implement a new mindset and a place for your quit where nothing can get at it. Protect it as if you were protecting a loved one from a murderer. Love yourself enough to protect yourself from an addiction that is trying to murder you." This is exactly the mind-set that is called for in addressing any addiction INCLUDING smoking. Thanks for the tough love.