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G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required)

Strange morning. I went for my first brisk walk this morning, and on my way out the door, I spied a light blue Bic cigarette lighter on an end table. After I finished my 20 minute jaunt, I came back inside, to see another light blue lighter on a different table. Then, when passing through the Dining Room…. Yup, a third one, also light blue. It’s not weird, if you know me. I would always buy light blue lighters to match my pretty light blue American Spirit packs. It seems I always had, either 8 lighters, or I couldn’t find one. And, Yes, I was one of the folks who deluded myself into thinking, if I smoked “all natural” cigarettes, I was less likely to suffer any harm. I am sure some of you can relate. Something about seeing all those lighters, this morning, made me feel a certain way. I am not quite sure exactly what it was, though. A little nostalgic, perhaps? A bit like, I am missing something! Having those lighters laying around may be a trigger for me. So, I think I shall put them away, and only grab one when it’s time to light the candles on John’s Birthday Cake, next month. KAT

NOPE!!!!!!

NOPE...

NOPE!

Blimey y’all! I was pulled up out of a deep sleep because I was wanting a cigarette. I was drowning in the want of it. If I’d have had a pack close I would have probably chewed on one while I was trying to get another lit. What on the blinking bloody earth was that?! I mean Bible came to mind....pacing to and fro, looking for whom he might devour. I was kind of frightened there for a second! And my toes and fingers are constantly tingling! Driving me nuts! I know what that is, but it needs to stop. I need to get a sound sleep for once! I’m angry! I literally would smash someone’s face in if they were to talk to me right now and that’s being nice. And this is the one thing I remember from the only other time I ever tried to quit smoking. It’s why my husband drove to the store, bought cigarettes, came home, lit one, shoved it in my mouth and yelled smoke it, just smoke it at me! I could literally kill someone right now. And yet I never reached over, grabbed one of the nicotine patches that I had left and slapped it on. Why is that? Because I’m a quitter that’s why and quitters don’t quit, their quit!!! I was going to delete this before I click submit, like I do most of my posts, but I think this one needs to stay. For me. And now, I think I can find that deep, peaceful sleep that I’ve been longing for. Disclaimer: I stole that title.

Yup- I have many days like that.......

@Gus I had many days like that, crying all the time and angry all the time and mean didn't even like myself some days little own any other people. Good to come here and rant and get that out!!!! We all understand , I know I have done my share of that here that it what got me through to as far as I am. So hang in there you are doing great!!!

I feel like I could kill people most days! You sat with it. Your emotions that is. You made it. I'm glad you didn't delete your post. You are human. You kicked that Nicodemon in the nuts! Sweet dreams. xx

As many of you know I was officially diagnosed with severe emphysema and COPD after I had respiratory failure in January of 2020. Most of you also know that for years I was struggling with breathing issues that I was told was asthma. In the two years leading up to my respiratory failure I went from 110 pounds on a 5'5" frame to just 79 when I was admitted into the ICU. My prognosis at that time was pretty grim, get better or go home on hospice. But either way I was also going home on oxygen. Since then I have put most of the weight back on and continue to feel myself get stronger each day. So then what's the point of this post you may be asking and its this.... I found a great group for people with COPD on Facebook which is ironic because I never used Facebook pre pandemic but the group is awesome. So many people that can relate and answer the many questions those of us newly diagnosed have. Much like our community does. Here's the sad part, I read post after post from members of that group still smoking. Some are on oxygen and still smoke! I of course pass our site on to them and I hope they find their way here. Its just really sad to see. There's even a few who's Drs have refused certain procedures because they're smoking. Life saving procedures too I might add. COPD is a progressive disease with no known cure. It can be slowed with proper medications and quitting smoking. Sadly we can have it for years and not even know it until we get an exacerbation. Mine was thought to be asthma. My day consists of trying to keep my 50' oxygen tubing out of the walkways and from getting caught in the doors. I'm embarrassed to go anywhere because people will be whispering things like "that's what happens when you smoke" etc. My poor dog and cat also have to dodge it while I'm walking down the hall to feed them. Its no way to live. I'm not looking for any sympathy I just want to put a brutal face to this terrible addiction in the hopes it helps someone quit or keep their quit.....

Hot bath,wine and candles was amazing thank you all again

@jillar Thank you for sharing and your honesty about the illness.I have so much respect for you and willingness to help others is out standing. You are such an awesome and kind hearted person. I myself and I know many more of us on the train thank you for all that you do for us here!!! Wishing you best of health and remain getting stronger every day!!!

@Diane Thanks it does help to know people care and understand

Day 40 - Who are you and what have you done with Dianne?? Dianne who use to hate to exercise and always joked she needed a drill sergeant to drag her out of bed to exercise.....Dianne who had no energy ....who is this Dianne who getting up early to walk at 6:30 am because she does not want to miss out on it from the heat.....this Dianne who eating chia seeds, Greek yogurt, beets, power greens ect ect instead of chips ....this Dianne who doing online fat burning work outs and ab work outs.....and looking forward to doing them....I liking this Dianne...I liking this new adventure.....I liking my new found breath and sense of well being....I sorry if I make this sound easy...it is not and I have had my struggles and some really bad scary moments.....so yes it is hard... it can be hard but it also can be incredibly good and freeing ...if you here and thinking of quitting and see my words....it not all bad when you quit nor does it have to be....take stock of the good....take stock of hope ...yes educate yourself (there is a huge selection of information here...yay to learning all we can to free ourselves) but also spend sometime here playing too....there games....videos...ways to socialize and there even a confession thread lol

On my way to my wildlife refuge Duty, couple mile before my exit my truck start to die. Get to the side of the I15 in the middle of the desert and coast to a stop. my alternator belt broken and without charge my battery die. This was not a side of the freeway repair so I call my Cousin, He lives back down the freeway 80 or so miles, so long story short we get it to run without the belt and get it to the refuge and my cousin heads back home. Now all this time I am doing ready good, until I start to see what I need to do to fix it. So after 3 or so hours and still no closer to getting it fixed the beer and 100 degrees start getting to me and then it happens I WANT A SMOKE, Not a little urge so I grab my phone type in quit train and up it pops go to SOS and No way Jose, must log in to access SOS so I try one of the others again ONE WAY JOSE. By the time I gave up the cussing and cursing trying to get access the urge had shrank down to something I could deal with. Well with 3 tall boys down and a super great Smoked Ribeye steak consumed I dosed off. Crises Obverted my quit is intact I forgot to mention my cousin is a chain smoker, we use to run together when I hit the Bars rally hard back in the day. I also forgot to mention he owned the Bar, free beer !

Thank you I was really happy with my self, I over came the adversity, maintained my cool, kept my thoughts clear and precise. up until the urge hit me. My cousin was happy he has been wanting to quit and swore I wouldnt, so who knows may get him on the road to being smoke free.

I like my red wine, but I always had a glass in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. No sense playing with fire…..Pun intended….

When we stop trying to control our environment and surrender to the natural flow of the universe, wonderful things start happening in our life. If your life is hell, be grateful. You are learning another valuable life lesson. You won't have to come back and go through all of this again.

Nope.

NOPE

NOPE Have a great weekend, everyone!

Happy Birthday Robbie and congratulations on being smoke-free. Twice the reasons to celebrate.

Thank you @jillar! That is about as brutally honest as you can be. What I have to say is I believe that you have done everything possible to help yourself since your diagnosis. I hope that you can stave off the final result for a very long time to come. You deserve it. Your unerring and unwavering support of others is a rare find these days. Now let’s get back to kicking Nicodemons butt!

Anything is possible when you have The right people there to support you!!!!

Rain falls because the clouds can no longer handle the weight tears fall because the heart can no longer handle the pain

I remember always getting a free lighter for buying a carton @Dianne and they were always the cheapo ones that the flint would fly out of lol But yea, I kept mine to and just put them away. Lots of other uses for them

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you all for caring, you all are my family that I picked!!!! Hope I can do that for all of you! ❤

You not a broken record. It is your journey right now. Please do treat yourself well tonight and with kindness.

One day the mountain that is in front of you will be so far behind you it will barely be visible in the distance but the person you become is learning to get over it that will stay with you forever and that is the point of the mountain

@KatgirlThat was definitely a God wink with your doctor. You are doing great!!! You've got this. Keep up the good work.I know what you mean about the drugs. It seems like that's all the doctors want to do is add another pill. I worked as EMT-SPEC and around medical slot. My doctor tells me quit looking stuff up I'm going to take your computer away lol but he knows me too. You have got to be your own best advocate. Hang in there girlfriend

We have a confession thread....sweet! I am so book marking that lol

I have 25 (maybe more) lighters in my top dresser drawer. The gas stations around here always generous, always giving me free lighters with my nicotine addiction purchases. I lived through The 'Super Derecho' of May 8, 2009 lol don't judge....the lighters stay.

I used to buy them in the five packs and you can look in any of my several junks drawers and find one. I also used to collect lighters so I have a bunch of cool ones in my display cabinet. A lighter is just a lighter...............(said the gal almost five years quit ). You'll get to that point too @Katgirl

Chuck them .... It's a part of your life ..you don't need anymore ....yes keep one ... I remember when I used to shop for the best posh lighter I could find .... No plain lighter for this gal ...if I was going to kill myself ....why not do it style .....Junkie Thinking !!!!!

I stayed away from Alcohol too ...until I felt strong enough ... I've seen lots of great quits lost here ,due to drinking too soon ...

Well done on getting past that one @Gus and I'm so glad you didn't delete the post. You're going to want this one to look back on! Hope you're feeling better now. Fyi, I took a nighttime Bayer when I couldn't sleep. One was just enough to take the edge off and let me get a full nights sleep, maybe that would help you too

G’day NOPE .....Not One Puff Ever.... (replace Ever with Min,Hour, Day as required)

No way not smoking one puff to blow my quit . Not happening today . All I got is this moment in time .

Hope is important because it can make the present moments less difficult to bear if we believe that tomorrow will be better we can bear a hardship today

Nope!!!!!

Congratulations Sirius on an epic 7yr quit

So...if I were to be put in lockdown for a week, I think that it would be because..... when I was 16 I egged an old lady’s house. I couldn’t stand her. But I’ve already done penance for that because when I was a nurses assistant at the age of 19...guess who was placed in the assisted living facility I was employed at. Guess whose behind I now had to wash. Never think that God doesn’t see. Because He sees. He sees it all. I know.

In our house, the warden & I don't have any real houseplants other that this one lonely African Violet that we've had like forever! I don't even remember when we got it but it's been 20 or 30 years I expect. In our old house this thing would get a couple or three flowers in the summertime and nothing in the winter but it always survived. We moved about 3 years ago and brought 'The Plant'. Stuck it somewhere in the dining room near a window but the direct light conditions are not great there. It hasn't flowered since we moved here. About 2 months ago we were moving some crap around for some reason and the plant ended up on a cabinet near a window in the front room. I noticed it was getting direct sunlight for a couple hours each morning. Well ..... low & behold after about a month, this thing developed a flower, then two , then .............. Here's what it looks like today! I've never seen such a transformation in a plant ever in my life! I think it's trying to tell us it's found it's Happy Place

Congratulations on your first smoke free birthday, Robbie! Celebrate big!

NOPE!

NOPE!!!!!!