I hear you, Linda. I just came on to ask the long-timers how they handled the depression. Maybe I’ve been depressed my whole life and didn’t know it because the smoking/nicotine masked it.
I’m so tired of feeling sorry for myself. 2020 was a horrible year of loss for everybody, I realize that. But, besides losing my freedom due to Covid, I also lost a couple good friends and a VERY close family member. My only sister moved out of state and neither one of us travel, so I know I’ll never see her again. Then, on December 31st, I found out I have coronary artery disease and they dumped a bunch of medication on me. I hate taking as much as an aspirin; always have. Then, to top it all off, my 3 doctors tell me; a 76 year-old woman who has smoked since she was 13 years young that I have to stop smoking! No warning. No preparation. Wrong mindset. Just do it!
No wonder I’m depressed. All I can do is sleep. I don’t want to eat because that just triggers the cigarette crave. When you’ve smoked for 62 years, everything triggers the cigarette crave. It’s all I know. It’s who I am/was.
I can’t promise anybody, not even myself, that I’m going to make it. God knows I’m trying. But I’m supposed to be quitting for my health. Well, let me just say...I don’t find depression very healthy. 😢