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Those "amazing" cigarettes were the ones that got you addicted. That's how it works. You shouldn't romanticize them. You need to recognize them for what they were. This post reminds me of an abused spouse reminiscing over how their lover was so amazing when they first met them. There is NOTHING good about smoking. Nothing fond to remember. Just stink, filth and wasted time and money. Now cut it out and go be a non smoker!

Nope, I don't smoke anymore!!!!

Nope

NOPE

nope

NOPE

Nope!

Not one puff ever... NOPE!

G’day NOPE .... not anymore I don’t

NOPE

NOPE - I don't smoke anymore.

Don't be stupid. You regret them all. You are simply unwilling/unable to admit such. When you can finally acknowledge this, you will be free and quit. Until then, you will remain a slave. EZPZ

Truth must be the priority. Addiction will be with us always and any romance about it must be pronounced DEAD. Root out all shards of it and replace it with truth. Our memory is not completely reliable, it often drifts into the land of dreamy dreams. For example, the memory of pain dissipates. The bliss you remember wasn't the act of smoking. The promise of youth, the sun, the music are all quite narcotic ! The smoking bit will take a less important role the more secure you are in your quit and the more knowledge you have about nicotine addiction. You are so early in your quit, it is v. smart to be alert over romance. You may find this thread helpful, Red Flags. You have plenty of time to make exceptional memories devoid of nicotine. Freedom is the best narcotic and deep clean clear breaths !

I will not smoke one cigarette today - not one puff!!

NOPE!!

NOPE

Yey!

NOPE

Interesting post, Rick. I started smoking my freshman year in college and immediately thought about that when you talked about being young, listening to music, experimenting with cigarettes, etc. That was me "experimenting" with cigarettes (and other things) in college. I guess I felt cool then. Still, even at that age, I could feel negatives. I used to run cross country in high school and played a lot of basketball too. It didn't take long before I didn't have the energy or lung capacity to run or play basketball much anymore. I think I even knew that first year of smoking that I needed to stop but it was amazing how quickly the addiction, physical and mental, was taking over. Looking back, I realize how quickly that addiction took hold of me and I regret ever lighting up. Smoking is all about feeding an addiction. There are all kinds of lies we tell ourselves as smokers but that is all smoking is. A horrible and deadly addiction. There is nothing good that comes out of lighting up. It took me a while to realize that but when I did, quitting became much more worthwhile and doable. Believe me, you are missing nothing positive by quitting smoking.

I smoked for a lot of years but do not remember any cigarette being amazing. I do have a lot of amazing memories from my smoking years but the "amazingness" has nothing to do with smoking. If anything, they would have been more amazing if I didn't have to sneak away to get my fix.

That isn't why you got addicted Rick, the reason you and all of us got addicted was because nicotine was introduced into our system. I also romanced cigarettes early in my quit. I got jealous that others could smoke and I couldn't because of my health. But as time went on and my breathing got better, my senses awakened, I came to realize that a life without cigarettes was such a better life. You'll get there too. Keep reading our extensive collection of topics by others here who felt like you do. Use our search feature and type in romancing. You'll find post after post of others who at one time also felt that way.....

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Nope ,

NOPE!!!!!!

G’day Not One Puff Ever

NOPE

The Fallacy of Good Cigarettes from our friend, Joel Spitzer. Be sure to check out all his links, he is a valuable resource. and here is a poignant little film

Good job @Sunshine59 for not caving to a crave

Welcome to the QTrain Rick and congrats on your quit.

Welcome, Rick!

@HeatherDianne, firstly, good job not caving to the craves. That's a HUGE step. Secondly, sure, everything is all sunshine and rainbows for me now, but 2 months in -where you are now- I was a disaster. Most everything you were/are feeling I (and most everyone else here) felt. You're not alone and you know that. The important thing is that you didn't smoke when the pressure was on. YOU KNOW where you are and you also know where you want to be. Don't lose that vision of being a happy quitter. Stick with it and you'll be there before you know it. I promise you this.

Not anymore --- NOPE!!!!

NOPE - I don't smoke anymore.

I regret every single cigarette. I can only hope I quit in time, before any permanent life threatening damage was done. Educate yourself. Romancing smoking keeps your addiction alert, while you actually want to put it to sleep.

nope

This is my first Christmas without Cigarettes, I feel very proud of myself because there was 3 people who went outside on the verandah to smoke. I didn't get the urge to follow, but I did reflect with some nostalgia but kept busy at the time. Later on I went out with the other smokers, and told them this was my first year without cigarettes at Christmas. I think they were happy for me, no one encouraged me to join them which they would have done in the past. I also had visitors stay over who smoked too. This wasn't too difficult because I was at home. Some discussions on smoking or not smoking ensued and let them know about the information on forums to look up. I gave a luncheon on Boxing day, which went extremely well.. For two days had a ball. Lots food singing and dancing. Started on new eating programme today. Best Christmas Present was clear skies and moderate temperatures.

For what its worth, my thoughts would go something like this...1. You remember the experience not the act. 2. You were aware of the hand to mouth, and sucking in the air with the gunk into your lungs. You were not romancing the cigarette because at that stage you were not in love with the addictive substance,, you were definitely romancing the first moment when you experimented like the realization you had some sense of control over your life, little did you know that the moment the gunk entered your blood stream, that all the moments after was the monster calling you back as you said in the hope of finding that raw experience again and again, How do I know this! because it happened to me when my belief was the wrong way round.

Your story of holding ground in the face of so many craving temptations gives me both inspiration and hope as a new quitter. I appreciate you sharing that story, and when intense cravings come at me I'll remember it. Keep it up!

Yesterday i learned that Vodka is a trigger . I have been drinking from a bottle of Vodka i bought for the past 3 days I have drunk 12 glasses of Vodka in the past 3 days So the tendency to smoke was back . But since i didn't have any cigarettes with me , i was not able to smoke Other than that i am alright Thank you lord for another day without smoking . Merry Christmas and a Happy new year to Everyone

Just got done setting up my $18.00 WiFi extender and couldn't be happier. No more dead zones, yippee!!!

That's great, @forestgreen It wouldn't surprise me if some of those smokers you talked about were secretly envious of you having quit. Maybe you inspired a couple to seriously consider quitting. Quitting is a rewarding path to follow. I'm glad you enjoyed Christmas without having to plan how to get your next nicotine fix. Enjoying Christmas without having the stress of worrying where your next nicotine fix will come from is a great feeling.

I'm glad I quit at a nothing time of year in August. All the festive/special days and summer holidays etc. are tough times for brand new quitters. I'm so happy to have those temptations behind me. Xmas day was fine and so is today.

I wasn't a happy quitter either @HeatherDianne, but just wait until the day you wake up and realize you haven't thought of smoking in hours. It's a great feeling and my first glimpse at the happiness yet to come. Next Christmas instead of looking at the smokers wistfully you'll be feeling sorry for them that they have to go feed their addiction and miss out on the fun. You did great overcoming your hard few days, be proud of yourself, you got this

Congratulations, on beating a gruesome crave ! Please continue to reward yourself ! I don't think many people were 'happy quitters' in the true 'happy' sense. It wasn't easy for me the whole first year but, that didn't matter. Like you, I wanted the quit more. I was only 'happy' about sticking to my commitment to myself, that was v. satisfying. You quit is still so young. Protect is with everything you have, everything you are. You Quit Smoking, Heather Dianne ! Please believe us, everything gets better and easier as time goes by. You may not notice it yet but, you will. You will slip into the new you and be free free free.

I wish I could jump in and say my first smoke free Christmas was awesome - but to be honest the last few days have been a rollercoaster for me. Christmas Eve - I was ready to throw it all away - Smokers were at my house and I WANTED TO JOIN THEM - I did not feel the freedom of not HAVING to smoke.(not yet) - At one point I had to excuse myself - went upstairs to my room and went outside on the balcony and cried and pretended to smoke with a candy cane. Did it help? well yes - After I was calmer and rejoined the party I was in a better space. But I would be lying if I did not admit I was not a happy quitter at all - I wanted to feel normal again - and smoking for me is a normal. But I did not - I am 3 days away from 2 months and it has been A LONG time since I can say that. I just couldn't throw it all away. so I just pretty much was a moody mess throughout the past 2 days. And I have decided that is ok. It is ok to not love my quit like some of you and to feel at times it is holding me back as much as smoking did but in different ways. or I am just too new to the smoke free life to feel the freedom - but I have FAITH that it will come in time. At one point I said to my husband " if the quitting is so good for me, the family and my life - why does it feel so awful and uncomfortable?" But I know the answer, I have done the homework and I know I am just a nicotine junkie looking for a fix - and this fact keeps me from lighting up a cigarette. But I wanted to share with all of you and the new people coming in - this is not always easy - in fact sometimes it is HARD and you have to push through - if you really want it. Did I learn anything from my Christmas? - Even not smoking, my addiction was very present. I am not in a place where I love being smoke free - but I can see and sense what it might be like - someday- but I am not there yet. and most of all I realized how much I want this quit. I may want to smoke, but I want the quit more - and that is why today December 26 - I am still smoke free and only 3 days away from 2 months. I have accepted that this holiday will be what it will be as I simply want to join in the festive smoking - and I find accepting that I still WANT to go outside with the smokers is fine - as Long as it stays a WANT and not an action - then really I will be fine. I will keep the quit. On another note - the smokers did tell me that a pack of 25 smokes has gone up and is $19.95 here in Canada now - I have to admit I love that I am not going to be paying that kind of money to light up and watch it disappear in a puff of smoke.

I am still so appreciative that my life no longer revolves around smoking. Quitting is THE best present you can give yourself, your animals, your family, and the world.

I've got a question for my quitfamily. Context I regret almost all the cigarettes I've ever smoked in my 4 years as a smoker. Almost all. The ones I regret are the ones I took out of junkie-like dependency which is 99.9999%. The ones I don't truly regret were the initial few. In fact I still often think about how amazing they were - I was young, listening to music, sun shining on my face and experimenting with cigarettes (without withdrawal effects), it honestly felt wonderful. I loved the feeling, I loved the smell and I loved that moment. Part of the reason I got addicted in a chemical sense was trying to get back there... and this is where the good memory deforms and warps into the standard junkie scenario. Question for you How do you reconcile happy memories of your initial cigarettes as a quitter? In my head there are 2 broad options: 1) Accept they were amazing times, and that you'll likely never get that same feeling again 2) Reframe them as actually negative - find a way to convince yourself those weren't good times at all so you don't romanticise memories that may risk relapse Looking forward to hearing your thoughts! Thanks

Two years ago today, I smoked two cigarettes back to back before going to bed and said to myself, "This is it." But even I didn't REALLY believe that. Of COURSE I was going to smoke again someday - right? I always did after saying I was going to quit - usually I'd pick back up within a few days. But a statistic I had recently read haunted me. I read that if you quit by 40, 90% of the deleterious effects of smoking go away. I already missed my chance to quit at 30 and smoked for most of the decade before my 40th birthday, quitting only for my pregnancies and a few months when the kids were infants. So facing 40, growing tired of my addiction over the years - feeling like a loser leaving parties as the only smoker, worrying about coughs that crept up here and there... I had just lost my job, too, and while I wasn't the primary breadwinner and it made little difference in our finances, I didn't like the idea of spending $9 a pack (that's the American Spirit, right?) when I wasn't bringing in any money. I found this site, yakked about my impending quit date, which was set 2 weeks into the future on my 40th birthday, and was given the greatest advice I can remember receiving, which was "Why wait? If you quit now, you'll be two weeks into your quit when you turn 40? Physical withdrawal effects will be largely over." And I couldn't really argue with that. Why smoke for 2 more weeks if I'm planning to quit anyway? As we all know, I still wasn't REALLY going to quit... I was just telling myself that while my addiction patted me on the back, telling me it'd be here for me when the dust settled. The delayed quit date was just one poorly crafted excuse my addiction was feeding me. Two more weeks of smoking, with 2 more weeks of guilt and fear would most likely end in me saying "Ah, it's too hard!" and lighting up again. So instead, I ambushed my addiction that day and said "Gotcha!" to nicotine. Sneak attack. I carried the last two cigarettes in my pack for many months after I quit - at first it was JUST IN CASE! Just in case I got stuck on the highway in a traffic jam, which is one of my most anxious places. Just in case I got really mad and needed a nicotine break. I pulled them out once or twice, ready to light one up, but found other ways to cope instead. Then I just carried them as proof that they had no power over me - just some cigarettes in my purse, as inanimate as they should be. And then I finally ditched them after maybe 5-6 months, and when I did, I remember feeling triggered, thinking "I can always buy more if I want." But I haven't, because the odd craving here or there isn't even close to strong enough for me to drive the half mile to the nearest gas station for a pack. In the past two years, I have loved the compliments from my kids about how good I smell, I love never worrying about creeping coughs, I love not orchestrating my day around when I'm going to sneak off for a smoke. I love that I can tell my kids not to smoke, and it's not a "do as I say, not as I do" conversation. I love that I'm not a slave to nicotine. It feels like I've been a non-smoker for much longer than 2 years, and I still can't believe I smoked for so long.

Thank you, Linda, I am glad you think it is beautiful too. It is a Camellia from my little tree, an old fashioned varietal called, 'Pink Perfection'. Usually bloom a bit later in the winter on cold and grimy days. The rest of the buds are waiting. I've painted this set up before here but, want to do another...it is also my current avatar.

This is such a cheering post, forestgreen. The first year may be fraught with challenges as we learn our way when everything is strange and new but, the journey gets lighter as we go along. Keep the ball rolling ...sing/dance/eat well and rejoice...You Quit Smoking !