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Two years ago today, I smoked two cigarettes back to back before going to bed and said to myself, "This is it." But even I didn't REALLY believe that. Of COURSE I was going to smoke again someday - right? I always did after saying I was going to quit - usually I'd pick back up within a few days. But a statistic I had recently read haunted me. I read that if you quit by 40, 90% of the deleterious effects of smoking go away. I already missed my chance to quit at 30 and smoked for most of the decade before my 40th birthday, quitting only for my pregnancies and a few months when the kids were infants. So facing 40, growing tired of my addiction over the years - feeling like a loser leaving parties as the only smoker, worrying about coughs that crept up here and there... I had just lost my job, too, and while I wasn't the primary breadwinner and it made little difference in our finances, I didn't like the idea of spending $9 a pack (that's the American Spirit, right?) when I wasn't bringing in any money. I found this site, yakked about my impending quit date, which was set 2 weeks into the future on my 40th birthday, and was given the greatest advice I can remember receiving, which was "Why wait? If you quit now, you'll be two weeks into your quit when you turn 40? Physical withdrawal effects will be largely over." And I couldn't really argue with that. Why smoke for 2 more weeks if I'm planning to quit anyway? As we all know, I still wasn't REALLY going to quit... I was just telling myself that while my addiction patted me on the back, telling me it'd be here for me when the dust settled. The delayed quit date was just one poorly crafted excuse my addiction was feeding me. Two more weeks of smoking, with 2 more weeks of guilt and fear would most likely end in me saying "Ah, it's too hard!" and lighting up again. So instead, I ambushed my addiction that day and said "Gotcha!" to nicotine. Sneak attack. I carried the last two cigarettes in my pack for many months after I quit - at first it was JUST IN CASE! Just in case I got stuck on the highway in a traffic jam, which is one of my most anxious places. Just in case I got really mad and needed a nicotine break. I pulled them out once or twice, ready to light one up, but found other ways to cope instead. Then I just carried them as proof that they had no power over me - just some cigarettes in my purse, as inanimate as they should be. And then I finally ditched them after maybe 5-6 months, and when I did, I remember feeling triggered, thinking "I can always buy more if I want." But I haven't, because the odd craving here or there isn't even close to strong enough for me to drive the half mile to the nearest gas station for a pack. In the past two years, I have loved the compliments from my kids about how good I smell, I love never worrying about creeping coughs, I love not orchestrating my day around when I'm going to sneak off for a smoke. I love that I can tell my kids not to smoke, and it's not a "do as I say, not as I do" conversation. I love that I'm not a slave to nicotine. It feels like I've been a non-smoker for much longer than 2 years, and I still can't believe I smoked for so long.

I will not smoke today - not a chance!

Nope, I don't smoke anymore!!!

Nope

Nope!

NOPE...

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hi everyone, I thought I'd introduce myself as a good first step in getting involved in this forum. A little bit about me I've been a smoker for 4 years now - I initially used smoking to numb the anxious moments in life (work stress, the "what am I doing with my life" moments etc.) but before I even realised, I was an addict. I tried many attempts to quit this year... but reflecting back, I don't think I really gave it my all. Two areas where I feel I should have paid more attention was : Getting educated on the specifics of smoking health issues (https://www.quittrain.com/topic/4836-can-you-spare-about-an-hour-and-a-half-to-help-to-save-your-life was eye-opening), and Getting involved with a network of quitters (like you guys) That being said, I'm ready to give quitting another go and I'm excited to do it this time together with you guys. I'm 3 days into my quit and I'm going to take it one day at a time. Thanks for running this forum, it's a godsend for those who don't have any quitters in their networks. Thanks, Rick

G’day Not One Puff Ever

Not anymore --- NOPE!!!!

NOPE - I don't smoke anymore.

Nope

NOPE!!

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Welcome - it is a crazy road - this quit road-quit train - I have had so many ups and downs lately I realize it truly will be a journey not a race. WELCOME

Welcome Rick you came to the right place at the right time!!! Stick very close to this forum!!!! It is imperative that you do that!!!! Read, Educate, Post just don't take another puff!!! Welcome

NOPE!!

NOPE - Not One Puff Ever

This is my first Christmas without Cigarettes, I feel very proud of myself because there was 3 people who went outside on the verandah to smoke. I didn't get the urge to follow, but I did reflect with some nostalgia but kept busy at the time. Later on I went out with the other smokers, and told them this was my first year without cigarettes at Christmas. I think they were happy for me, no one encouraged me to join them which they would have done in the past. I also had visitors stay over who smoked too. This wasn't too difficult because I was at home. Some discussions on smoking or not smoking ensued and let them know about the information on forums to look up. I gave a luncheon on Boxing day, which went extremely well.. For two days had a ball. Lots food singing and dancing. Started on new eating programme today. Best Christmas Present was clear skies and moderate temperatures.

Studying a photograph I took yesterday of the first early blossom on my Pink Perfection Camellia. May be next painting. Maybe big. Maybe small. Dig the reflection of the pink blossoms on the bowl to the right of the 12 o'clock leaf. That is so beautiful.

I'm glad I quit at a nothing time of year in August. All the festive/special days and summer holidays etc. are tough times for brand new quitters. I'm so happy to have those temptations behind me. Xmas day was fine and so is today.

Welcome Rick and congratulations on taking back your life We have so much to do here to keep your mind busy and off the thought of smoking. From educating yourself about the addiction to socializing and having fun. You will find as much support as you need or want here

NOPE

NOPE im not smoking today

Congratulations on quitting smoking, @Rick92 ! You have made an important decision that will affect many areas of your life in v. good ways. Like all have said before me, stay close to the board. This helps keep you accountable with yourself and with people who know Exactly what you are going through. and Education ! Read until your eyes bleed and watch all the scary movies. Knowledge is essential and will help you build your successful quit. You may find this thread useful Your First Week Nicotine Free and please, let us know how you are doing, we can point you to resources that will help you on your journey. @HeatherDianne is right, it IS a journey. A journey of self discovery and a profound trust in ourselves when we stop administering poisons.

I was jealous of smokers for a long time after I quit, wishing I could smoke too. When the reality finally sunk in that they don't "get" to smoke, but they HAVE to smoke, and if I started again, I wouldn't be choosing to smoke, I'd be compulsed to smoke, the romance died. And then I felt trapped in my quit for awhile - craving but not giving in - denying myself what it wanted and hating it the whole time. And THEN, finally, I felt free... THEN I was able to let cravings pass like they were bratty little kids bugging me for candy. Annoying, yes. Persistent, sometimes. But not worth giving in to, because like kids, once you give in, it's really hard to hold back the next time. And then I didn't feel like I was white knuckling life anymore. Cravings were, and still are, just like passing intrusive thoughts... when they come, my brain now naturally responds with thoughts of how thankful I am I don't smoke. The image of me buying a pack makes my heart sink. The idea of bumming one and lighting up makes me feel a little pukey, knowing how gross that first cigarette really is after a long quit. You won't have to deal with tough cravings like that forever. Holding on to your quit, as much as it feels like a roller coaster, is really the practice of quitting, and every single cigarette you don't smoke is making you stronger in your quit. Your practice is going really well.

Welcome to QuitTrain, Rick. Like you, I also had several attempts at quitting smoking before I finally quit for good. Joining and getting involved in a forum like this one and educating myself about nicotine addiction is what finally helped me quit for good. I'm glad you are taking these same steps. Speaking as someone who smoked for 20 years, quitting smoking is a truly great thing to do. You will see great improvements in your life over time and it is worth any early short-term struggles you may have. Stick close to this site, educate yourself about nicotine addiction, reach out for help if you need it, and support others too. The socializing and games section of this site also offer good distraction and fun to keep your mind off of smoking. Congratulations on 3 days smoke free. You are going through the toughest part but you are doing great.

NOPE

I remember how on Christmas I would have to sneak out periodically throughout the day/evening to have a quick smoke. I was the only smoker in the family, so I would walk a few houses down so nobody would see me. Even though they all knew I smoked, I was still ashamed. When I was done, I would walk in the front door, hope that no one would see me and then quickly scurry upstairs so I could wash up and use mouthwash. Of course, now that I'm a non-smoker, I know that the hand washing and mouthwash/gum/whatever never got rid of the stink that came along with smoking and when I eventually rejoined the family, I'm sure they could all smell it. I can't tell you how happy I am that that is no longer a part of my holiday ritual. If you're stressing out about dealing with your quit over the holidays, don't! Relish in the fact that you don't have to go through all your old rituals. Appreciate that you are NO LONGER A SLAVE. Enjoy your time with your family and friends and know that you'll soon be starting a new year smoke free. Quitting is the best present you can give yourself and everyone around you. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, everyone!

@HeatherDianne, firstly, good job not caving to the craves. That's a HUGE step. Secondly, sure, everything is all sunshine and rainbows for me now, but 2 months in -where you are now- I was a disaster. Most everything you were/are feeling I (and most everyone else here) felt. You're not alone and you know that. The important thing is that you didn't smoke when the pressure was on. YOU KNOW where you are and you also know where you want to be. Don't lose that vision of being a happy quitter. Stick with it and you'll be there before you know it. I promise you this.

This is such a cheering post, forestgreen. The first year may be fraught with challenges as we learn our way when everything is strange and new but, the journey gets lighter as we go along. Keep the ball rolling ...sing/dance/eat well and rejoice...You Quit Smoking !

G’day NOPE starts my day

Congratulations, on beating a gruesome crave ! Please continue to reward yourself ! I don't think many people were 'happy quitters' in the true 'happy' sense. It wasn't easy for me the whole first year but, that didn't matter. Like you, I wanted the quit more. I was only 'happy' about sticking to my commitment to myself, that was v. satisfying. You quit is still so young. Protect is with everything you have, everything you are. You Quit Smoking, Heather Dianne ! Please believe us, everything gets better and easier as time goes by. You may not notice it yet but, you will. You will slip into the new you and be free free free.

I wish I could jump in and say my first smoke free Christmas was awesome - but to be honest the last few days have been a rollercoaster for me. Christmas Eve - I was ready to throw it all away - Smokers were at my house and I WANTED TO JOIN THEM - I did not feel the freedom of not HAVING to smoke.(not yet) - At one point I had to excuse myself - went upstairs to my room and went outside on the balcony and cried and pretended to smoke with a candy cane. Did it help? well yes - After I was calmer and rejoined the party I was in a better space. But I would be lying if I did not admit I was not a happy quitter at all - I wanted to feel normal again - and smoking for me is a normal. But I did not - I am 3 days away from 2 months and it has been A LONG time since I can say that. I just couldn't throw it all away. so I just pretty much was a moody mess throughout the past 2 days. And I have decided that is ok. It is ok to not love my quit like some of you and to feel at times it is holding me back as much as smoking did but in different ways. or I am just too new to the smoke free life to feel the freedom - but I have FAITH that it will come in time. At one point I said to my husband " if the quitting is so good for me, the family and my life - why does it feel so awful and uncomfortable?" But I know the answer, I have done the homework and I know I am just a nicotine junkie looking for a fix - and this fact keeps me from lighting up a cigarette. But I wanted to share with all of you and the new people coming in - this is not always easy - in fact sometimes it is HARD and you have to push through - if you really want it. Did I learn anything from my Christmas? - Even not smoking, my addiction was very present. I am not in a place where I love being smoke free - but I can see and sense what it might be like - someday- but I am not there yet. and most of all I realized how much I want this quit. I may want to smoke, but I want the quit more - and that is why today December 26 - I am still smoke free and only 3 days away from 2 months. I have accepted that this holiday will be what it will be as I simply want to join in the festive smoking - and I find accepting that I still WANT to go outside with the smokers is fine - as Long as it stays a WANT and not an action - then really I will be fine. I will keep the quit. On another note - the smokers did tell me that a pack of 25 smokes has gone up and is $19.95 here in Canada now - I have to admit I love that I am not going to be paying that kind of money to light up and watch it disappear in a puff of smoke.

NOPE

Being told off by this guy for trying to talk to him. The sass. "No mommy, I'm a little bit busy right now." Merry Christmas everyone!

NOPE

- 9 Merry Smoke Free Xmas to all my readers.

Welcome to the QTrain Rick and congrats on your quit.

What's this bullshit... -6

Not one puff ever... NOPE!

That's great, @forestgreen It wouldn't surprise me if some of those smokers you talked about were secretly envious of you having quit. Maybe you inspired a couple to seriously consider quitting. Quitting is a rewarding path to follow. I'm glad you enjoyed Christmas without having to plan how to get your next nicotine fix. Enjoying Christmas without having the stress of worrying where your next nicotine fix will come from is a great feeling.

Does he like cougars? I'm looking to trade mine in

I am still so appreciative that my life no longer revolves around smoking. Quitting is THE best present you can give yourself, your animals, your family, and the world.

Oh what a pain it used to be! I dreaded Mother in law coming up for christmas as it really spoilt my smoking grr, she would hang around us, and I was on edge standing outside in case she came looking for me. She would be here all day, so had to get hubby to keep her talking so I could sneak off. Missing time with my Sons because I needed to go outside every hour!! I have a grand daughter this year and I am going to spend every second with her. Merry Christmas.