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Hi everyone , I am 56 and have been a smoker for 40 years ending up on 40 a day ! I have tried a few quits over the last 15 years or so and i know the only rule is NOPE - break that rule and normally wait another number of years before trying again . I quit 27 days ago and "romanced just the one" ,17 day quit lost . I was sitting there feeling stupid and ill with a chain smoked half packet - trashed the packet reset my meter and here I am . It has been quite tough as I managed to regain my quit but the "just one - you've done it before this time " feeling is strong , but my resolve feels realy good and i really understand my near miss with smoking again. I have re-visited Joel's lessons - and my weakness is no excuse but I have forgiven myself . I promise to post an SOS - my relapses have always been premeditated in a strange way . Everyone on here is inspirational . KTQ - Steve

Nope

Nope, I don't smoke any more!

Na nope

NOPE

NOPE!!

I will not smoke today. not one puff

Nope.

Nope!

Nope!

Not Today --- NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"But I enjoyed smoking!" I hear that again and again from folks struggling to quit. (I've heard my own inner addict's voice whisper it a thousand times.) And so I ask this question: Was smoking ever REALLY enjoyable? One of the keys to my success this time around has been to remind myself that smoking was never really something I enjoyed. Not really. Remember that very first cigarette--the burning sensation in your throat, the acrid smell of the smoke, the cough following that first hit? I still remember it. Why did I continue to smoke? It wasn't because I enjoyed it. It was because the nicotine receptors in my brain woke up after my FIRST puff and immediately began screaming for more. I was hooked from the get-go. Smoking wasn't something I enjoyed. When I really think about it, smoking was something I hated. I hated the guilt and shame. I hated sneaking around whilst trying to hide my habit from my disappointed loved ones. I hated the dirty looks I got from non-smokers when I lit up in public. I hated the smell that permeated my clothes, my skin, my hair, my car. I hated cleaning foul, dirty ashtrays. I hated spending money only to watch it burn up. I hated huddling on the porch in the cold and rain, trying to stay warm and dry while puffing away like some kind of fiend. I hated coughing every time I laughed. I hated wheezing every time I climbed even a short flight of stairs. I hated the ulcers in my nose that wouldn't heal. And I hated the fear that each cigarette brought me a little bit closer to death. So where does that sense of "enjoyment" come from? Because I thought for years that smoking was something I liked doing. That's why I threw away quits in the past--I thought I was missing out on something. But the more I learned about nicotine addiction, the more I began to realize the truth: smoking was something I did to fulfill a craving. That's it. That sense of enjoyment was actually my inner addict's sense of relief at getting another fix. Even that first cigarette of the day, which was always my "favorite," was not an enjoyable experience. It was simply providing a rush of nicotine after 8 hours of withdrawal. (Yes, even in sleep my body was always begging for another hit.) Ok, so maybe I enjoyed the lovely quiet mornings spent on my porch with a cup of coffee. Guess what? I can still enjoy those. And I can breathe in lots of fresh, clean air while I enjoy them. Because now I'm truly enjoying them. I'm not simply satisfying a need. A need I created when I took that very first puff. (Isn't that sad?) I didn't enjoy smoking. I do, however, enjoy being smoke free. Attitude is everything in a successful quit. Change your thoughts about the habit itself, and it will save you down the road. Trust me.

Welcome Steve, and congratulations on your 10 days.

Welcome, Steve, and good job getting right back on your quit. I understand the premeditated relapse. Early on I would often plot a weekend relapse on Friday afternoon at work but somehow always managed to just barely talk myself out of stopping for cigs on the drive home. When I finally completely took the option of smoking off the table and stopped (most of) the arguments in my head, the quit became easier. You're well on your way again with about 10 days in, so keep the momentum and don't give yourself permission to turn back now.

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

Welcome! and congrats. I totally understand where you are and where you are coming from. I still have moments where I romance smoking, but I am working on it. I think our quits are a daily sometimes hourly journey with the good and bad and bumps in the road, but do not take a puff no matter what will get you to the next day.

Welcome aboard Steve! And well done! I know all to well how it all feels.. and I have fallen so many times before. And the only way that works for me is to talk about it. Get it out.. don't let the addiction fester and grow into a relapse. Take care of yourself. Walk, eat healthy meals, shower, get a good nights sleep.. dance and sing (or shout..) a lot! Don't be ashamed, there is nothing to be ashamed about. You are an addict that made the right choice like all of us here. We are happy to have you here Steve!

Thank you all!!! It really doesn't feel like a month, and I think you all made my quit a lot more bearable and funnier

NOPE...

NOPE

Oh Abby, I also was so ashamed of smoking. I felt like such a weakling because I could not quit and knew that I was going to die of a smoking related illness. I promise you that you will gain so much power as your quit keeps going and then one day, it is not even a thought. You are doing great. Keep that quit going.!

Welcome aboard! It sounds like you understand that the "just one" thing is all a big lie our inner addicts tell us to get us smoking again. There is no such thing as "just one." I learned that lesson the hard way, myself. Glad you have joined us. :)

Welcome aboard Steve, Congratulations on your great quit .... Read ,read and read again ....that romancing the cigerette...is just junkie thinking ... Once you have it firmly in place ....it's just a roll of poison that is killing you very slowly ... You may find it easier .... Take smoking off the table ....no matter what ..... Stay close to the board ...it does help .....and yes post SOS if you need us...

Welcome again Steve, relapse is something most of us had to go through before we got it through our heads that there is no 'just one'. I'm convinced though that it was joining a forum and being around others who knew what I was going through that made this time successful. You are surrounded by people who can help you at just about every stage of your quit.

Hi Jillar , Thanks

Here are two from our friend, Joel Spitzer, concerning relapse. Intentional Relapses I Will Control My Smoking Now

Cigarette is a demon, It will enslave you for sure . That nicotine smoke will cover your brain with only cigarette related thoughts . Once you stop using it , your head will have more clarity After throwing it away , you will be a better decision maker i think . The cravings and conflicts keeps coming and going . But those sort of conflicts inside the head is always there for a normal human being . So , throw the cigarettes away and deal with the conflicts . There is always stress and strain in our everyday lives . I don't think cigarettes can cure those stress and strain in anyway

Great going Vivianne

Welcome aboard, Steve. Quitting smoking is a great thing to do and I am happy that you decided to join us. There is a lot of support and knowledge that you can get here to help you stay quit for good so please feel free to reach out and participate as much as you need. It is good to have you here.

We need to be RUTHLESS in rooting out junkie thoughts (romance ugh). Don't let your brain finish the thought, interrupt it by looking or thinking of something of Beauty. This will give you a bump of endorphins. Before I got to 'the beauty' part, I would yell, FREE YOUR HEAD !!! or FREE YOUR (expletive, expletive) HEAD. You have to break up the thought pattern and be merciless about it. Soon, they will fade as your brain receptors are reclaimed from the tyranny of nicotine.

Welcome Steve, I lurked for the first 10 months of my quit and used that time to educate myself about nicotine addiction. It was and remains eye opening and a process that continues even with a six year quit. The knowledge must be assimilated completely. This empowers a successful quit. We must recognize junkie thoughts and Red Flags and shut them down Immediately ! Relapses are always premeditated. Only you bring that cigarette to your lips and make the choice to breath in poison, it never just magically appears. Understanding NOPE, committing to NOPE and standing by that commitment is the only way to break the bondage. Keep watching our friend, Joel Spitzer's Video Index. Watch them over and over and over and read all the information here until your eyes bleed. Stay honest with yourself and save your life. Keep close here, the more involved you are in your quit, the less likely failure. Congratulations on your quit, Steve, build it with knowledge and commitment and truth. You will succeed. S

Exactly! Nope (by the way)

NOPE

Congratulations @Vivianne on getting past the hardest month of them all And thank you for already being a huge part of our forum. Your support and blogs are going to help many people following behind you. Treat yourself extra special today, you deserve it

G’day NOPE starts my day

I enjoyed lots of bad things...for a bit....

The fallacy of enjoyment came from the release of endorphins that nicotine triggered. Nicotine appropriated our brain receptors for pleasure, then they would only respond by administering nicotine. One by one we claim these receptors back. This is why rewards are so important. Here is a great thread by MLMR with a super video Educational Video on Nicotine and The Brain and a scientific study on Reward Processing and Smoking

Welcome Steve. I smoked for 42 years and never thought I could quit. There is something magical about this forum. The support I received here helped me make it to the finish line. The first week is the most difficult and then it is a matter of changing your thinking. Learn to power yourself through the craves and you will find you will get stronger and stronger. So let's keep this quit going because life improves so much after quitting. Stay close to the forum and shout out when you need us. We are here for you!

NOPE...

Hey thanks abbynormal, I am mostly always a joyful person, so it left me wondering should I give this feeling of joy over to the gutter with the cig, or do I hang onto the joyful bit, I am trying so hard to be happy with myself and others while I kick (pun) the habit. I guess I will be standing guard and joyfully refrain.

NOPE - Not One Puff Ever Happy Friday, everybody!

Thank you so much everyone, for helping me to understand my own residue of emotions, more importantly that I am not alone in wondering what the! .....in my mind. This experience only left me wondering, but my action made me feel a whole lot better. I guess I have to watch this side of me a bit more especially now that, the hurrying in shopping and driving has started in the Pre-Christmas rush.

G’day NOPE NOPE NOPE

Slapping sticks over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and....... We like it!

Hi Sazerac, I am on a BP mission too , was 180/95 and my ECG was showing some historical bad stuff . My first priority is to my smoking quit , that is a no brainer . Diet wise I am cutting out all the hidden sugar I was consuming , 5 cokes min , Orange juice , Redbull Energy drinks , sugar in coffee/tea etc (I live in a hot place with a full and free works fridge !) Then I read your blog posts - I am probably in caffine withdrawal by default lol ,as my Coffee intake was 5 plus mugs a day and the Fizzy pops were always a constant! Anyway i''ll try and remember that alot of things are going on at the moment and I'll probably wean off coffee and Tea further down my quit. My BP is alot better now but I still need to alter things - it takes time to alter a lifetime of bad habits . I am being quite positive and I am enjoying trying to fix myself as a project (I don't want BP pills and Statins forever) ! I'm doing the BBC couch to 5k for starters (I hate running !).I'll keep you posted !

When you educate yourself about the slavery to cigerettes.....and understand what a evil trap this addiction is Its easier to discard the odd cigerette we find or lighter. You decided your quit was special and worth hanging on too.........well done ....

Great job Vivianne on 1 month of smobriety! ! Keep up the good work!

Congratulations on your first month smoke free, Vivianne. Thank you for sharing your quit journey with us. Make sure to celebrate today. You are doing great.

Yea, I might have done that same thing as you forestgreen, it's normal. We smoked for a lot of years so even though seven months is awesome it's really just a drop in the bucket when compared to all those smoking years. Same with my almost 3 1/2 years. But each day we say NOPE makes us that much stronger