Well I can't believe it's right around the corner........1 year.....without a single puff...... I sadly didn't celebrate this monumental event. The moment past completely unremarked. I actually didn't notice the day until a few days had past. This a good thing, that I'm not hanging on every moment of quitting means that I am actually healing from this crazy journey.
Life never stops regardless of quitting smoking, good days or bad. As such I have been focused on family health issues and putting mine on the backburner.
So what does almost a year of quitting look like for me. It has passed remarkably fast. I have yet to feel much in the way of positive health benefits but have convinced myself that this is because I have no perspective. I can't compare pre quitting me to post quitting me as my memory doesn't really stretch back that far (I smoked 34 ? years). I don't think i snore quite as much as I used to, and now and again my lungs feel the strain a little less. This leaves me hopeful that time is on my side, that the further my quit day falls behind me, the more benefits I will receive health wise.
Temptation---------The little demon does raise its ugly head now and again. I'll give you an example......My wife suffers some significant health issues from an accident. As a stress reliever I was watching a comic on Netflix (Dave Chappelle) and having a laugh. About halfway through I realized that his smoking/vaping was triggering a craving. I hadn't had a craving that made me take notice in a while, and it was an uncomfortable moment for me. I was a little torn that I wanted to continue watching (which I did), but I also didn't want to keep subjecting myself to the constant lighting up.
Distraction------- I have played a ton of guitar in the last year, like 30-40 hours a month. It is my meditation, my distraction and my passion. I have fished more this year, and caught more decent fish than I have in years (like since I was a little kid). I also learned how to film (with a gopro and iPhone), edit (on an iPad) and record audio (both my guitar playing singing and voiceover) and put it all together on a series of YouTube videos. I put together videos of fishing and some videos of guitar playing that I'm pretty proud of. It has been a great hobby to learn. It scratches my creative itch and makes a great record of family, friends, events and my musical journey. Lastly, I was presented with a beautiful granddaughter last month and I have been enjoying my time with her.
The Christmas season is upon us. This will bring lots of happiness in my clan, but with it there will also be the stress of organizing all the events and of course the history of close people being lost over the years. I mention this to remind myself that smoking will not change anything for me, and by extension will not change anything for you folks. There will be celebrations that will not be any better if we smoke. There will be a few sad moments where our friends and family that aren't with us anymore will weigh us down, and smoking will not change how we feel.
A year - - - - That was my first goal - - - - A Year - - - - - I still have a hard time envisioning myself as a non-smoker. Maybe, my friends, consider this - - - Though I may not view myself as a never smoker, my granddaughter will never know me as a smoker. This is the most positive role model moment I've had in long time.
A YEAR -------- I'm not sure what changes I have to look forward to between year one and year two. That said, I'm sure happy to be looking forward to the ride without the habit tied like a weight around my ankle. I have gained time with my family and friends. I have gained time to pursue my passions. I can find no downside to being a non smoker. There is nothing in my life that would be improved if I lit a smoke and started back down the road of smoking and trying to quit again. Nothing, no upside, not one reason to light up again.........EXCEPT .............now and again a little war happens inside my head...Now and then the habit sneaks around looking for a weakness, an opening to say 'just a puff'. It takes me by surprise. Most times a little shock, a laugh, I tell myself 'no sir....not you again...you can crawl back in your hole'......Then its gone......for a time............Be aware always. A Year is one puff away from vanishing forever.
The Lido deck sounded so far away just a short time ago. It's right around the corner now and I'm taking it one step at a time the same as I have since day one.
Peace
Rory