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Nope

Nope!

NOPE.!!!!....Not Today....!!!!!

Nope

NOPE

Nope

Nope

Nope

Nope!

NOPE

NOPE!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOPE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NOPE!!!!!!!!!

NOPE!!

Nope

NOPE

#NOPE

NOPE - I don't smoke anymore.

NOPE...

Gday NOPE it's never boring C

Nope. Smoking is not an option.

Gday NOPE ..... simple C

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

I bought myself a First Class ticket on the Quit Train and am looking forward to the ride. It's taken me longer than I expected to board but took Jillars advice and waited until I was really ready. So here I am and I'm feeling really positive and happy that I no longer smoke ?

#NOPE

NOPE!!!!!!!!!

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE

NOPE - smoking sucks.

NOPE! Week 4 done! ?

NOPE!

For a few months I have been playing lip service to this is my sticky quit... but the weekend prooved it... I am quit, I am never going back NOPE is the only reality I know. I never get tired of hearing those words from someone who has jumped on the Train....to quit this horrible addiction.... High five sweetheart....you have arrived at the destination called FREEDOM..... I am so happy and proud of you.... Xxxx

I haven't been around that much but I was here yesterday and was glad to see all of the long quits. I haven't written in a few years but would like to post a few thoughts about the quit process. Looking at the new and young quits, and the never-ending fight to gain a foothold on the sticky quit, I just wanted to let the newer quits I see on the QT know, that you'll get there too, by sticking to your plan and what you will learn as you stay quit. This is only a mind game, where your self control is being tested constantly. It wears on you as you overcome the triggering of craves through attrition, trying to process them simply as your mind/body healing itself naturally through recognition and reaction. That someting so elementary is so taxing is hard to understand sometimes. It really requires no action other than acknowledgement of the particular craving and the processing of it. Repetition is the key. The first triggers and craves that you will defeat are the ones you encounter the most. The most infrequent ones are the last to fall, and they do, through repetition. If you will just keep doing your normal daily and nightly activities sans the nicotine delivery, eventually you'll roll over the addiction and leave it behind. Sounds overly simplistic reading this but remember that you will trigger and crave and try to understand what caused it. Don't be alarmed and dont make a hasty judgement, because sometimes you can't put your finger on the particular cause to your effect. Could be romancing the cigarette subconsciously and missing that old smoky life, since things have changed and you don't know who you are sometimes. I mean you were this... smoker... and now maybe scared and are wanting to go back to what you see as normal. That is when you get tough and remember that you control your own mind and heart and that you call the shots. It's okay to feel weak, but know that you didn't get this way in a few days so it will take a few months of honest work to get out of the hole. You will make it, even if you feel like you won't. This will not kill you but it will make you unbelievably strong if you'll just stick to your quit plan and your back up plan, and allow yourself some time to heal. So be militant anti smoking, and remember that you are in a fight and that you are unwinding your whole being from the addiction so walk like it and act like it. Once smoking and cigarettes were every part of you, and now...well now they are not. That hurts and that is painful, but it is the work you have to do, so let the process work. Pay it forward, and stay as strong as you can as you use what you have learned. And if you fall, it isn't the end. You start again. A dream becomes a wish, and that wish becomes your reality as you work the quit. Time is on your side now, so dont give that addiction any more of you. You're in control of your mind and body and you've taken the chains off. Don't put them back on. KTQ,

** WARNING ** - I am about to talk about the death of friends and loved ones so if this is a sensitive issue for you please don't read. I was Quit 26 days... and struggling with the quit, that third week had been hell on earth. It felt like every other minute I was fighting the urge to light up. There were two voices in my head Notsmokin Jo (NSJ) who does not smoke and Smokin' Jo (SJ) who does and boy was that Smokin' Jo loud and persistent about being heard and fed her addiction... and then at 10.30pm on day 26 my phone rang... and I dropped everything and went to my friends place... her husband had gone for a drive with his brother 3 hours early and not come home.... the internet was full of news of a horrific accident in our area..... the footage looked like it might be the car.... so while we went to the police station and my daughter stayed with her besty and her grandparents and we went to the cop shop.... the whole time SJ is in my head... "OMG this is serious shit, you can't do this you need a smoke. Like now. If you smoke you will be able to focus on what you need to do... you are such a selfish friend, how can you help if your don't have a smoke to calm the f down... enough of this quit bullshit, you need to get your act together and have a smoke then sort this stuff... you can't help if you don't smoke" ...on and on it droned along the same theme... I heard it as I sat on the floor of the cop shop cradling my friend who had collapsed.... I heard it as I drove her home.... I heard it as we sat at the table and she chain smoked and we watched my daughter hold her daughter in her arms and rock themselves to sleep... I heard it as we realised her lovely, smiley, beautiful husband was not going to come through the door any minute and laugh at us for being so silly.... I heard it as I pried his half melted keys from her hand... and as I washed and dressed her hand where the jagged edges had dug in because she was squeezing them so tight... and as I waited for the girls to fall asleep and then put out her kids chrissy presents because she couldn't go into her bedroom.... as I drove home and got my kid's pressies from Santa and put them out at her house.... as I watched her four year old ask again and again when daddy was coming home... as I watched her throw her laptop across the room so she did have to read the filth and vitriol of internet heroes trashing her dead husbands name..... as I said goodbye and drove my daughter to her dads, then my dads, then back to her dad's..... as I missed my family christmas to drive to the airport to get her mum... and drove home with her mum chain smoking in the car re-living the night before the whole time.... holding my baby while she wailed at life being unfair and how could this happen and why her friends and then after she ignored me and looked it up on the internet why people were saying horrible things about him and then the day she really broke, the day someone told her he was still alive and banging on the window as the car burnt and she had watched the footage on the internet of the car burning....and the months of nightmares..... SJ begged and pleaded and wheedled... "go on have one, just one, you know you want it, you need it".... and every time I fought the urge because that was the only thing I could control.... then on the morning of my one month anniversary the phone rings.... my uncle overseas, the oldest, has fallen and hit his head and is a coma.... so I had to watch my dad contemplate the first of his siblings to die since he was an adult... and know he couldn't for health reasons fly over.... every phone call... he is getting better.... he is worse..... come now.... every call that awful, whiny voice was begging me to smoke... but I held out... one New Years Day when the phone rang and he was gone.... watching my dad shut down... watching his other siblings who couldn't go fall apart or turn into agro nutcases.... it was just too much... but I fought the urge... and I kept my quit. It was hard, it was a battle, and truthfully it was a close call. These were real craves, not just passing thoughts... these involved sweat and determination to beat.... because my brain had been programmed that when the shit hits the fan you have a smoke (or 3) and then deal.... but I had none... I sat surrounded by smokers and did not have one... I did not increase the number of NRT I was having... if anything I decreased it.... but it was hard and for 3 weeks it felt constant. But I was not going to cave because it was the one thing in a time of chaos I had control over. I think the whole second month of my quit was one big, long, agonising crave... constantly, all day, go on, go on, go on, go on, every waking moment and if you were around the first 5 months of my quit you knew there was a hell of a lot of waking moments... on average there were 20 of those in a day..... but I fought every single one of them and I don't even really know why.... wait yes I do... it was the only thing I could control. Then yesterday morning I get a phone call... and I just knew it was bad.... so my little cousin (35) had died of an overdose. I don't know yet if it was deliberate or accidental. But he didn't deserve to go out that way.... no one does... well maybe the real scum of the earth... but he gave back, he cared for his mum... drove over 3 hours each way every couple of days to check up on her or have dinner with her or make sure she was doing ok... he spent his weekends with her most of the time... he had been clean for years.... it just doesn't make sense.... but what did I do... I went about doing a load of washing and going to softball and cooking tea and chatting on here and doing a painting and going to sleep and going to a party and then I left the party and headed home and I lost it... bawled like a baby all the way home from the farm, I dunno how I even saw to drive my eyes were so red and swollen when I got home.... and the whole time my baby sat next to me and didn't know what to do.... she said the silent tears were the worst... but do you want to know what I didn't do? I did not fight a crave.... not one..... not once did I even get an inclining to have a smoke... not one smoking related thought at all.... HOW COULD THIS BE???????... earlier in the year I had faced a constant barrage.... like bullets from a machine gun those craves pummeled me... sure it was much earlier in my quit.... but nothing, not one single thought, whisper, suggestion for anything smoking or nicotine related. You see those of us who have been on the quit train for a while tell you rewards are important its all about re-wiring your brain and the nicotine receptors.... teaching your brain that smoking isn't how we reward ourselves or celebrate... in the same regards the reason the first year is so important is because we have to experience so many firsts without nicotine... season changes, holidays, stresses..... and we have to rewire our brains, rewire the triggers.... so why was there nothing this time.... its because the silver lining of the horror I ended and started this year with rewired every single receptor in my brain and trigger to do with dealing with death... all of them... so this time when the idea and concept of smoking and a nicotine fix didn't even exists... and so the silver lining of this horror is that I know how strong my quit is... I know I can face death and loss and not have to worry about facing my addiction at the same time because those receptors have all be erased and rewired to something else... a new inner strength, maybe? .... but I don't really care what it is because this is the final proof I needed that this time, this quit, this is the forever, sticky quit and while I'm only 11 months free.... I feel way beyond... whole, major sections of my brain don't even recognize nicotine's existence.... sure I'd rather still have my friend, and my uncle, and my cousin.... would probably even trade my quit for them to be here.... but giving up my quit wasn't going to bring them back or help me cope.... silver linings people... they are in any and every situation... mine in this instance are purely selfish.... but I would rather think that its the last gift these three amazing men gave me in their lifetimes... and I will treasure it always. So newbies, and lurkers.... and the in-betweenies.... sometimes the re-wiring hurts, it cuts a deep raw wound straight through the center of your being... but those nicotine receptors do get rewired... so its up to you... are you going to do the work to re-wire... it starts with the rewards... oh yay I went an hour without a smoke... I'm going to eat this lovely strawberry / candy / celery stick.... whatever... but do something... every hour.... every two hours...every 12.... every day.....every week.... every milestone you pass.... because regardless of what shit life throws at you there is a nicotine receptor in your brain waiting to exploit it.... and you need to take the control back and re-wire those. Because it can be done.... it is done.... every day by the members here who travel this train.... get rid of the smokes and the vapes and start re-wiring.... you have the power within you to totally change your life and your brain... how fricking amazing is that!

NOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is great to see Lilly.... so happy to have you back. Stay close, fluids and sugar levels... you have this.

Good for you Lilly Congratulations on being ready to put smoking behind you, and you know I'm looking forward to seeing those awesome charms you'll be getting each month

I want to let the board know...I'm not really this bad a speller....this tablet is possessed.... It just writes what it feels like ... It looks OK till i post and then...I'm like Eh !!!!..I didn,t spell that ...just sayin...

Confession: That kid creeps me out. Looks like one of those horror movie babies.

NOPE

C9jane29 I'm feeling pretty good I must say. I've been chewing on gum and recently just bought biltong to snack on? ooh I would love some chocolate but I'm allergic to it!(since I was 16) Thank you for the check up!! Means a lot? Thank you so much?

The lurkers too...hellloooo?? I guess I'll keep the windows clean til they get here...

What an amazing inspirational post Jo, you're a strong, determined and awesome gal...super awesome actually. And yes, we all are dealing with a lot of things but it takes courage and lucidity of thought to put this out here, and it inspires people. I keep having Triggers nowadays (not cravings) of smoking, and all I have to do is close my eyes and say a firm no, and poof, they vanish. It's not easy saying no sometimes, but I remember why I said no in the first place. I don't want to ever again be a slave to this disgusting habit, I never want to stink till the high heavens, lose my breath climbing 2 flights of stairs (I still do, but that's because of my weight :p ) Mainly, I don't want to feel compelled to act like a tripped out zombie if I don't get my "fix", be irritable, lurk in corners, hide that smoke when I see kids and elderly people (reflex action). So thank you for sharing, makes me realize that I cannot let my mind use any instance in my life to lead me to light up a smoke. That's not happening, ever.

Thank you. But your story is inspiring too and Linda's and Doreens and Jillars and Joe7s and Alberts and Sazeracs and G67 and Parsley and Jet Black and everyone single other person here.. we all face really awful things in our lives at times, I just lucked out and had a whole heap happen in my first year quit... but silver lining... I don't have to face them down the track... major health issues, work redundancy, betrayal, deaths, family issues....they are all things you could face at anytime... getting them over with in the first year is just like rapid detox. We are all traveling our own roads and we are all facing lifes challenges and our quits at the same time... but its important to know that when we say you are re-wiring your brain and the receptors it is so true...it really works. When things got dicey about if I would or wouldn't light up and there were moments I had my fellow travellers here to help me stay the course... I had the people I played games with over at qsmb to keep my mind occupied with things besides the drama and the craves. For a few months I have been playing lip service to this is my sticky quit... but the weekend prooved it... I am quit, I am never going back NOPE is the only reality I know.

Seriously, have you ever thought about starting your own quit clinic? Thanks so much for taking the time to write all of this down, Jo. The beauty is, it's very educating to others and at the same time I bet it plays a part in your own journey (heading towards one year, you go girl!). You have a lot to look back at.. darn. Do know your story is rediculously inspiring!

Beautiful lake tonight. I think it was that way just for me. Sat and calmed down and ate every one of my whoppers. This beautiful view (Lake Erie) is a few blocks from my street. I don't know why I don't go down and enjoy it more. Thanks guys for jumping in and bringing me to my senses. Two more days and it will be 3 mos. I would have kicked myself if I threw that away!!!!!!!

Linda I don't think you are going to give in I think you are just overwhelmed. There is only so much one person can take emotionally and you've reached your limit today. What you really need right now is a darn good hug and somebody to take some of the load from you. We can spend so much time looking after everyone else and forget to look after ourselves. I'm glad you posted because being able to actually get your feelings out really helps. Wish I could actually help by waiting in line for you x

I pledge that no matter what life brings me today I will not smoke ?

Thanks, thanks and thanks for this post.

Jo, you have a gift for writing, for expressing complicated feelings in fairly simple, raw terms -- but more importantly you have a wonderful capacity for empathy and humanity, which both seem to be in much shorter supply in this world every day. Thank you for that, and for seeing the positives in the negatives, no matter how lopsided they may seem at times.