Hi all, and thank you so much for all your kind words, am so pleased to have found my old friends and look forward to making new friends, mummy cuddles all round!
I will just get you up to date with what I have been up to, we did a month in Thailand Nov/ Dec. That was pretty hard going at times, mainly because the hotel I had chosen was way up a massive and very steep hill into the rain forest, and with the heat I would find myself gasping for air, sometimes when we got back to our room I would just throw my bag on the bed and walk into the shower fully clothed! then start to take my clothes off once my heart had stopped pounding. We have booked to go back this year, but to a flatter place, so we will do lots of walking looking for butterflies and flowers and gorgeous things. We have just got back from 2 weeks in Gozo, which is a little island just of Malta, right in the middle of the Mediterranean sea. The hotel was on top of a hill with amazing views down valley to the sea, we went on long walks of 6 and 8 miles through terraced fields and beautiful, very quiet country side, almost no cars, and just birdsong. Yes it was all down hill, but a long way down hill, and we didn't sit down until we got to our destination, which was always a beach.
Now, you may ask yourself why I am bragging about stuff like this. Two reasons, 1, I couldn't have done this when I smoked, I would have been sitting down every 20 mins to catch my breath, and going through the motions of fannying around in my bag to find cigarettes and lighter, which now I can see must have been very annoying to my beautiful Colin, but he never complained (God! I love that man!) I used to smoke outside because I needed that fix, but it made me feel conspicuous, ashamed, dirty, and a lesser person. Not having to go through all the rigmarole of finding the cigarettes (I am a woman - I have loads of stuff in my bag, so I could be hunting for ages,) lighting one up, finding that lighter doesn't work, looking for another and then smoking it so fast with deep drags that I must have looked totally ridiculous. Not smoking has given me so much more time to enjoy everything, and not having the stress and pressure of having to slope off and find a "secret" place to have my fix. It is lovely not smoking! the freedom is amazing, so much more time to look around and actually see life, it is amazing what you miss when you spend all the necessary time needed to go through your routine, so much time wasted, that is a massive regret for me, I am one that looks at things others would just walk past, I make memories of little things, insects, the smell of lilac, art, architecture, history, I have missed so very much of life with my head stuck inside my bloody stupid handbag looking for smoking equipment,and sloping away like a filthy rodent into a cesspit of secrecy and shame.
The second thing is the money saved, all the money saved has gone towards us enjoying life even more, what would you rather have a months worth of something that will kill you or a month in Thailand?. Believe me, ladyboys, Thai food and beaches will win every time, I also have a bit of a thing about Buddhist monks, they make me feel so happy. Colin will be 68 this year and on the 12 th July I will celebrate my 60th birthday, I never expected to see 60 to be honest, when I was a young smoker 60 seemed a long way off, and by the grace of God, I am still here, and will continue to drag myself, kicking and screaming to experience every single thing I can, because did you know this... I am now a non smoker.
Oh, and by the way, when I said I had been smoke free for 18 months, it was a mistake, I have been smoke free for 19 months! Isn't life just brilliant!
Sending much love your way, you can do this, you will do this, and then you can be as smug as me! lol. xxxx