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Friday was to be my quit day... I was breezing along doing fairly well that day but had a bump in the road and I just imploded. Traumatic events that happen that early was just too much for me. On Saturday morning I had to put my beloved boxer dog Baxter down after only a couple days of illness so I had no time to even consider such a horrific outcome. He was 10 1/2 and I had had him since he was 4 weeks old and he was the love of my life. I got back on the train though late yesterday afternoon and I am doing well today. I don't have any cigarettes and wont' buy any. For fleeting moments from time to time I want one but it isn't bad.. nothing that I am pulling my hair out over. I was probably quite weak not continuing my quit when I had to put my dog down, but on the up side I did stay alcohol free when I had every intention and had actually given myself permission to have a double shot of Patron's. I chose against it and to stay clear minded as I cried. Some day really soon I will also feel that way about cigarettes.. I won't want to spoil/ruin the progress that I make for anything..

Sorry to hear about Baxter. And yes, one day you will feel about smoking how you felt about drink in that moment. A thought association that you realize has really bad consequences so you move on and do something else. It might help to treat your quit a little like a baby. It's so new and precious and needs protecting and looking after at all times, in good times and stressful. xx

I don't think at the time I quite understood the guru's ahead of me, when they said quitting is a journey and not an event. I sure as hell get it now. What a ride!! This time 2 years ago I sat with cigarettes, 16 days worth of champix taken and a deep sense of desperation to not be a smoker - with no idea how to achieve that. I never really realized it was as simple as just not smoking. I don't really know why, it seems glaringly obvious doesn't it?! I could do an oscar worthy speech of who to thank but you know who you are, thank you. I decided to set a new adventure on the same date as it was so successful for taking my life back 2 years ago. So tomorrow I move to a new house. The timing is not lost on me, the quit gave me the strength to change so many things in my life. I didn't understand how much smoking controlled every aspect of my life, I feel like I lived a lie for ALL of my adult life. Everything revolved around when I could and couldn't smoke. Not to mention my money situation was in dire straits. I wish we could genuinely convey to fresh quitters the strength this journey will give you. Yes, once upon a time it was "I quit smoking, I can do anything now" but it isn't like that today. Today it isn't like that. I now feel like if I put my mind to it, anything is possible and I am happier for feeling like that and for being free of the ties of nicotine addiction that I really had to finally admit was always going to be part of me. Not one puff ever or thousands will follow it but I'm good with that now, I'm too busy living and spending with what truly feels like a new found freedom - I don't think it will ever get old for me. Much love. xx