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I should have done some blog entries when I was feeling good. I will do that, for sure. In the meantime, Blaaaaach! I feel unappreciated at work. I feel yucko. What do people do who don't drink or smoke for an escape. Exercise? Really? Eating sounds good but that only goes so far and I'm not loving the weight gain as it is. Knitting? I don't know how. Maybe I should learn. Read? I love to read but I'm lookin' for something else. SOMETHING IS MISSING!! Sleeping. That is great!!! However, I can't sleep my life away. One foot in front of the other. This shizzy feeling will pass. It always does. Just don't smoke. OK.

Boom and by the gods, got another one sucked in!! My Giles quits tomorrow with a brilliant mindset of - Mart, if you've got it, then so can I! I LOVE this inspiring stuff!! Even if this doesn't take, he is thinking, and seeing it's do-able and I am somehow managing to enable that, simply by quitting!! And his twin brother is part of my soul group, so if I can suck Giles in, maybe I can suck my Elliott into quitting. By the way some people think soul mates are the bird/bloke they happen to marry or be with etc. I don't buy that although good for you/each to their own etc. I think we pick a group of people that we will re-incarnate with and they will bring something to our life, or us to them. Yes the fella I'm currently with is in my gang but we were powerful to each other as friends too. Numbers wise I think this is in the 5 - 10 ish people realm, in case you wonder what I'm rambling about :) Spiritual ya know :) So I am so pleased I hung tough for all those days I wondered if I was being dim trying to quit. All the times I quit and failed and quit and failed :( Made me sad but each quit/failure taught me something and brought me to this place I am today where I will not smoke, would be the dumbest thing I had done for a long time - pretty much since I last started smoking. I quit though and NOW, here and now, I am a non smoker and I accept that. For months I have been a quitting smoker, or a reformed smoker (lol, real bad) or someone who wasn't smoking....now I just don't smoke. It's like someone gave me the last hidden puzzle pieces but I couldn't tell you which bits were missing, it was a time thing I guess. I typed a line on the voldemort site that hit me like a freight train, it was this: ""I answered questions honestly, like sometimes I would love a cig, but mostly I am just really relieved all those craves are over - no not the withdrawal...the all day every day craves of being a smoker...that was exhausting! "". That is how I feel. It makes me so happy I can use this to help others though, that is who I am :) This emotional outburst is sponsered by white wine :) But still true lol and I am so happy I quit and that others will quit by my example well beyond my two man expectations. 5th quit I've inspired?! Man, I must of looked like some real commited smoker before I became a happy non smoker :)