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Happy 10 month anniversary to me! I wrote this in my anniversary thread and wanted to remember it forever, so I'll post it here. :) Thanks so much everyone!!! Quite honestly, this has been a tough month or two for me. The change of seasons and some personal issues have led to some major cravings. I have driven around the gas stations on more than one occasion and sat in a parking lot across the street from a pack of smokes just a few days ago. I almost totally lost it! Fortunately, I was on my way somewhere, so was able to hold myself together. I reminded myself of the words from a kind friend that smoking would do nothing for me. I reminded myself of all the nasty things that smoking does, how awful it tastes, how it burns my throat, etc, etc. I came here read. I celebrated anniversaries. I joked around. I PM'd with some very supportive friends who really helped me through a few tough days - you know who you are, Amigas! I also didn't smoke. Thank dear God for giving me that strength and to all of you for being here. I know I am a big goof sometimes, but I really am thankful to you. Thank you for starting my anniversary thread, Sarge. I love The Dance of Joy :) and I look forward to earning my stripes. I'm gonna go waddle my ass up that hill today and will dedicate my waddle to you and all of my quit friends! :)

My emotions are still up and down like a yo yo. I have smoked since I was 13 years old. My first cigarette was age 9! I am now 38, never in all my adult years have I "coped" as a non smoker. I did quit for 364 days, but I was massively protected in that time and the first real drama, I smoked again. So I will forgive myself that sometimes I don't know how to/who to be? I feel like a child sometimes! I am now learning how to deal with my emotions. Ironically, I am teaching my 8 and 4 year old daughters how to do the same haha. I get really sad, really down but then I come bouncing back up. I will learn without smoking how to do this, how to be calm. So the triggers are now easier but there. Only being around smokers is harder, but still, I can manage that in a dismissive way by putting my thought process together and remember one cigarette goes with 30 a day and that is DONE! However, I would be a liar if I said it didn't still exist, but it's ok and easier week by week I honestly think. The emotions -truly a work of art/work in progress?!

Jim Croce.......I love him :) I begged my daughter to learn "Time in A Bottle" on her guitar. She thought it was the lamest song ever. :p