Lust4Life
Quit Date: Sept 26 2016
Posted January 13, 2021
Newbies and lurkers - rest assured I did not smoke a pack of cigarettes. Way back in 2016 one of fearless leaders @jillar shared a great tool - the air cig. Put your fingers up to your mouth. Take a drag of air. I termed it pack of JACs. Jillar's Air Cigarettes. Hard to do in public these days. My security blanket was a straw, cut down to the size of a cig. That did not work for me tonight. After all these years, I dove into a pack of JACs.
I'm sad to admit that this evening - all the stress of life in the USA, life in my own existance, came to a head in my own head. I've been in a state of unease for quite awhile. When I reflect back on my near panic attack this evening - I realized I did not crave a cigarette. I craved breath. The shameful Pavlovian response for decompression breathing resurfaced. I found myself with smoker's fingers married to pursed lips. I inhaled quiet air. Clean. Deep into my lungs. Deeper into my body. Exhale anxiety. Exhale stressors. Exhale my own breath- without purchased toxins.
My fellow quitters have great success stories. Faded triggers, broken routines have secured their path to a lovely life as an ex-smoker without looking back.
The tender path to reformation is longer for some. Do not let it thwart your efforts.
The suck it up buttercup mentality is great for some. I chanted that mantra for months. Maybe years. It worked until it didn't.
I did not smoke.
I did not want to smoke.
I was startled by my stress response.
After all these years - I still require a physical motion to decompress.
Do you? If no- OK
If so- OK.
Okay?
Okay.
Link to original post: https://www.quittrain.com/topic/15014-pack-of-jacs/