Hi all. I have not been on for awhile. It is day 107  from smoking but please no congrats today. This is more about pain and heartache. To all those having trouble quitting,just think about the ones you will leave behind.I know i know you have to do it for yourself, but others will suffer just as much as you. I have     sob   had a wife.She was diagnosed with copd about 4 months ago.She tried to stop smoking and drinking her beer but could not. I tried everything because i would hear her cough and wheezing at night. She always said she is trying and not to worry because she was never ever sick. on the 21 of august she was complaining about her back and ear. On the 23 she finnally agreed to go to emer.1 where they said she had and bad ear infection and gave us some dam script. On the 23 at 3 a.m. i called my oldest daughter to come get us and we brought her to a hospitol. They took blood work and than had to move her to vasser. We followed. I went into the icu room and saw her sitting up in pain and scared. She saw me i saw her we locked eyes. I was looking at her when i heard the doctor say i had to go out for awile because they had to put her on life support sob sob sob .Still looking at her i know she heard him. The last picture of my beautiful wife was her starring at me in fear with her beautiful hazel eyes. I was ushered out never to see them eyes again. God writing this is tearing me up.I loved her even more than i though i did.The doctor said that she had pneumonia.He said that her lungs were about the worse that he had seen in a long time.On monday morning the 26th.i had to make the decision to take her off life support.Shortly after my beautiful warm sweet love of my life died in my arms taking her last breath.So to all that are trying to quit please please for the loved ones that have to try to go on without you please try again and again and again until you do.And to my love my woman i will remember you till we meet again.