What a good, honest post Michelle. Yes it is the two year old throwing a tantrum when she doesn't get what she wants. Ask yourself, would that two year old get what she wants if you knew it was going to hurt or kill her? The answer is no. Practice self discipline just like you did with your other addictions and you will succeed. None of us are special, well except me maybe  

Excellent suggestion. Thank you. And I'm the special one too...lets go build our own special people island where smokings not allowed lol

Michelle, I did not think I could stop unless I was put in a coma for a year.  The addiction is brutal, but you know that.  This forum was the miracle for me.  You have not tried the SOS before you caved.  We are here to help you through the difficult days and to share our experiences.  We so want you to be able to be free and feel the wonderful benefits of life without nicotine.  

I was so depressed and ashamed that I could not quit.  I now look back over this past year and I have gained so much power and self esteem.  

You are strong enough to push through those craves.  Let's get this quit going!!!!!!!

I hear you there, Linda. I'm so stubborn that when the crave gets bad enough I make that conscious decision to smoke so i don't post on the SOS because I've already made that decision. The trick for me is going to be to post in the SOS board the second I start to crave, before I've made that decision.

1. I really don't like wearing a patch but I honestly don't believe I stand a chance trying to go cold turkey this time around. The last two times I went cold turkey it was fairly easy. This time is much harder

huh. Why did it put a "1." before the last sentence? LOL

Your comments resonate with me, Michelle, and remind me of how I felt during my failed quits of the late 90's and early 00's.  In my case, I decided to change my approach pretty dramatically as a result.  I decided that I needed an alternative--something that, when those inevitable moments of weakness and vulnerability emerged, there'd be a final line of defense to protect me and my quit.  For me, that was my new health and fitness persona:  thus, when I started my new (and final, lifetime) quit, I made substantial changes to diet and exercise.  This gave me positive things on which to focus and do, and, crucially, when I had those inevitable moments when the quit was in jeopardy, the act of smoking just seemed fundamentally inconsistent with this new persona I was cultivating.  And this new persona mattered to me.  I'll admit that it was a big commitment (daily exercise, whole new diet), but I'm pretty convinced that this approach was crucial in my being able to maintain the quit in that critical first year or so.  

That was just my approach; the broader point I'd make is that if you've had serial failures, consider doing something very, very different.  It worked for me.  

Christian99

17 1/2 Years Quit

Thank you for sharing Christian! I'm embarrassed to admit that about ten years ago I started jogging. After my jog I'd light a cig. Madness. Insanity. And I knew it but I was at that time unable to stop. This time around I have drastically changed my diet so its  very cool you suggested doing the same thing. I can only exercise a little, as my mobility is severely limited due to the need for major surgery but I hope to get in with a physical therapist soon and ask them to tell me what exercises I *can* safely do. Sounds like I'm on the right track since it worked for you! 17.5 years quit...that is AMAZING. I'll follow in your footsteps!!!