Eyes Damaged

Three weeks ago, I learned that I have cataracts. Mild, and progression can be slowed if I quit smoking and adopt other healthy habits.

One week ago, diagnosed with glaucoma. It's hereditary,  apparently, but no one in my family back two generations had it, so likely this can be attributed to smoking.

When I left the eye doctor's office, I thought, "this is it; here is the impetus to get me to quit and stay quit."  I came back to the site and pledged for the day, feeling optimistic.

Panicky feelings followed, and before the day was out, I'd succumbed to the pressure I felt to get a nicotine fix.

Yesterday and this morning I created a visual: long arrow slanting up and to the right for the right path of health and the benefits of healthy habits; long arrow slanted down and to the right with every negative consequence of smoking I could think of.

Threw away the cigarettes (again). Not making a pledge today. My promise to myself is meaningless, based on past experience.

Withdrawal today, tomorrow (but I have it off and can panic at home), then working the next. If I start weeping at work, I'll slap on a patch, but I think I can make it through. 

I made it 5 weeks. It's possible to do it again, and beyond. It's all in my mind.