I was saddened to read ,you have smoked..with your health issues, staying quit is sooooo important..

Learn by this...yes those cancer cigs are  still as horrible and will kill you ,just as they have always done..

Ask yourself what you can do different..so this doesn't happen again.... You have to be prepared ,for when the urges pop up...

Dust down...let'get this done.!!!!

What Doreen said Lisa. Feeling terrible about "choosing to smoke" again will not help you at all. Use this disappointment to double down on your determination to quit and stay quit! You need to want to quit MORE than you want to smoke again. Post an SOS if this happens again and let someone talk to you about what you are throwing away if you smoke even just one. We know these early days are tough. They were tough for all of us. No one is special in that regard. There were some times when I wanted to crawl into a hole and just hide or sleep and just not be wanting to smoke any more. We all have those times but you need to do whatever you need to in order to get past those moments. They will not last forever but, the addiction will if you keep feeding it.

Let us help you with this Lisa. Come here as often as you can and read, post and interact with us so we know best how we can help you.

You CAN do this Lisa

"Never give up! Keep trying........"

I had a reaction when I reached this part of your post. It seems to me that this right here is what lies at the heart of your relapse.  As long as you continue to "try" you will continue to struggle.  This is how it has worked (and also not worked) for me anyway.  In previous quits,  I definitely remember that feeling of trying to quit. I'd even say it out loud if offered a smoke. "No thanks. I'm trying to quit". In all those previous quit attempts that's as far as it went- trying. Inevitably, the moment comes when you're just not trying hard enough. Or something else is just trying harder to get you to smoke. In my view, it was the mindset that smoking is not, under any circumstances, an option. It doesn't matter what kind of physical, mental, emotional, situational chaos is going on... there is no smoking. Period. Stop trying and just do. 

^^^ YES! Commitment, commitment, commitment!! Be committed to yourself!

This is the way through the difficult times. There's no shortcuts unfortunately.

Thanks everyone for reaching out  

Lisa...just want to point out one thing:

Definition:

• Slip - An accidental misstep causing a fall.
• Choice - the act of choosing involving judgement.

Lighting a cigarette is not an accident.  It requires you to make a choice.  Please get right back on the horse and make the choice to stay on.  Let us know before you light up that you need help or support.  You can do this!

So explain how much it tasted like a turd. No way then first hit was good. Maybe you pushed through but others read this when new and think it's ok. Tell them it wasn't. 

Well alrighty then :(

I think we are all well acquainted with failure.  

It happened, but that's all in the past.

The important question is what do you do going forward?

Learn from this and understand why you lapsed. 

Identify the trigger and visualize what you will do different next time

The train still waits for you.

hang in there!  You can do it.  We are with you.