Being a newbie.
I always thought I had an addictive personality. When I was little I was addicted to sucking my thumb whenever I could even at school. My addiction led to three years of braces and a lot of discomfort, but I stopped sucking my thumb and got really straight teeth at the end.I replaced that addiction with another one, bitting my nails. My mum took take of that addiction coating my nails with a really nasty tasting polish. I now have the luxury to spend hours painting them and feeling pretty.
My high school sweetheart was a smoker. As I was head over heels in love with him I found the smell and taste of stale smoke marvelous. I started smoking too, to look cool, sexy, mature and sophisticated. We broke up, I haven't seen him in years but the smoking stuck with me.
I recently started thinking of quitting, after a discussion with a friend about our first cigarettes, I realised I have been smoking for years. After some quick calculations I was amazed at the amount of the cigarettes I smoked and the money I spent even when I was unemployed. Money I could have spend doing other more exciting things. How stupid I have been. I began realising how awful I smell, my clothes, my hair, my room. I looked at old pictures, I always have a cigarette in my hand, smoking... how sophisticated I looked (not at all).
I did some research about smoking and smoking cessation and the benefits and read other people's stories of how they made the positive decision to quit smoking. I felt envy. I wanted to be like them. Could I? Would I? I definitely should.
So here I am, turning a new smokefree leaf....
- 6
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